So there's this boy I go to school with. We've been becoming good friends in the past month or so and I've had feelings building up for him, and I always suspected he was gay too. At some point we added each other on Facebook, and I have interested in men on my Facebook. I'm pretty sure he would have seen it because the next day he talked to me about a group I was in, which of course requires him to look at my profile much further than the interested in, which is right at the top. (He forgot his textbook the next day, so sat next to me and shared mine. :icon_redf) Anyway, I'll get to the point. He added me on Skype and here's the stalkerish thing.. I googled his username. Sure enough I found he had posted on some gay forums and was gay. Yes, I am almost positive it was him, because his username (his initials plus a few other letters) only returned a few other hits which were confirmably him, and the post I saw said he was a 18 year old Canadian asian male going to Japan as was wondering about gay life there. He just returned from Japan. So now what? It's like, we both know, but haven't discussed it openly at all. I really like him and I'm worried because my class with him will be over in 2 weeks. I was thinking of either just bringing up myself being gay and seeing where that goes. Good idea? Otherwise I was going to ask him directly. Though I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. Thanks for reading. Sorry it was a bit long.
Not sure if I would qualify that as stalkerish. I think that your best move if you're looking for a relationship with him is just keep doing what you're doing. Become closer with him and he will tell you when he feels he can. If you ask him flat out he may feel as though he is being attacked. You shouldn't flat out tell him you know either because he may feel as though his privacy has been invaded, which it sort of has but in an understandable way. You could try the bringing up that you're gay because he may not have seen it on your facebook.
i think though hanging out doing some stuff together as mates is a good way to go then never know a romantic situation may occur never know just keep up communication
Hi there! Maybe your friend is not comfortable talking about his sexuality openly. You have found out some information about him and he might have seen your 'interested in' on fb, but I think a could approach would be for you to come out to him. I think your chances of coming closer to him are much higher, if you come out to him however you are showing to him that it is okay to talk about it and to be open with each other. If you would let him know that you did find him on another forum, it might scare him into 'hiding' and becoming less open about himself. He needs to feel ready for you to know. You can help him by being open about yourself with him.
I suggest just talk to him. come out to him, ask him is he gay and if/when he says yes, say yes you knew and that you only looked him up because you like him. I might not be the best person to help with this (the last person I had anything like a relationship with was a Girl who if you saw now. You would swear she was a man. *shudder* *shudder*.) but hey good luck and I hope I'm not too late to offer a piece of useless advice
haha, that is not stalkish behaviour. i think everyone googles their friend's name once in a while to check out for any dirty secrets to be found.haha. You like the guy and doing that is not bad. maybe try the next step and tell him straight in the face that you like him and you think he likes you too? If i like a guy, i will do more stalkish things than what you did!
by what you wrote, it seems like you're pretty sure he knows that you're gay. that being the case, i don't think that issue needs to be pushed because he's clearly not comfortable with it himself yet (i think we've all been through that stage where we could think it, and could recognize that we're gay, but hearing or saying it is scary), and in order to cover it up, he might push you away. but i think hanging out with him would be a good option. just call him and ask him to go do something, see a movie or whatever. like an informal date, just as friends until he's ready to tell you, which as some point he will have to because no one can keep it hidden forever.
I beleave this is the best advice you can get,you dont want ot just comfront him about it,because he can feel attacked,and become cutoff
Thanks so much for the advice everyone. I'll do my best to keep up our friendship. And true, I think coming out to him directly wouldn't be a bad thing. I'll keep you guys posted!
