Is he gay?

I've suspected this guy I work with (waiter) for quite a while now, but 2 days ago it actually felt like he was testing me. He's not effeminate but there's something a little different and gay about him, I can't explain it. You can just tell his head isn't completely clear, it could be some other sort of insecurity though.

A few weeks ago we were all on a long drive and we were sitting together in the back. He leaned on my shoulder (and chest) like he was asleep but he didn't seem that sleepy. Then when he got up 10 minutes later, it seemed like he was trying too hard to show he was waking up (rubbing his eyes, shoulder shrugs, etc.). That was a little odd but maybe that was just me. There was also a Christina Aguilera remix n his ipod (stereotypes are often correct) but it featured Redman...

Two days ago I was ready to leave after my shift and he started running so he could catch me. He started a long random conversation, at the time he was supposed to work. That may sound normal but it felt awkward and out of place, we're not close and we hardly discuss anything but work. He talked about his ex-girlfriend (?!). He then talked about a girl that just passed by. It was extremely random which leaves 3 options - 1) he was testing me because he's gay, 2)he's straight and wanted to check my reaction (highly doubt that, he's a pretty good guy), or 3) he's trying really hard to make friends. Even if he was gay, it's painfully obvious he'd be a closet case. He looks like he's still going through something. When he talked to some guy and someone made a gay joke about him, he got too defensive.

Closet cases who even deny it to themselves are not trustworthy. I don't think I'll come out to him. But I'm curious. How can I test him? Should I? He's 18 by the way.

 

I don't know about the shoulder thing, if he's so terrified of the idea of being gay that he has to talk about girls and his ex-girlfriend, wouldn't he be scared to lean on a guy and "turn" gayer? If he's gay then I'm pretty sure he even denies it to himself.

Coming out to him could backfire at me cause chances are he's straight, and if he's not then he's probably not stable and confident about his sexuality. I also don't want to be pathetic and convince myself he's gay because I had a little crush on him months ago. He gives off a gay vibe sometimes, but so do other people and I don't give it much thought.

 

UserName, that's exactly what I meant. Those who are closeted and still in the stage of proving to themselves they can still be straight, their reactions can be worse than everyone else's. We're not even close friends so my sexuality shouldn't even be discussed anyway, especially if I don't know for sure that he's gay too.

EXACTLY. Although sometimes that could just be some other insecurity, so you can't jump into conclusions so quickly.

 

It's very likely he's never been open about his sexuality with anyone else if he's actually gay. The way I keep talking about how closeted he is makes it sound like I'm totally out and totally free, and that's not the case. The only difference between us is that I know who I am and I'm past the stage of thinking I can change or trying to impress others (or myself) by having a girlfriend. Again, IF he's even gay.

I know his dad is pretty "trashy" and still really active in his son's life (he actually called the manager) so I wouldn't be surprised if he'd be in denial/in the closet because of that too.

I'd rather not embarass myself, because if I'm wrong then it will just be awkward. We don't know each other that well. And even if he IS gay, his opening line was still his about his ex-girlfriend, chances are it'd backfire. The weirdest part was when he said some girl was hot... it wasn't that convincing. Maybe he is just trying to make friends with people or something.

 

Not even saying he's thinking of getting back wirh his ex girlfriend? If he's gay, he seems like the type of guy that would never come out. He could be bisexual but that's really rare... many "bisexuals" just lie.

 

True. I just doubt that even if he was gay, he'd say it. Even if we were really good friends. I shouldn't make assumptions but I'm just that curious. I had a little crush on him at one point, mostly physical so I got over it easily. Now months later he's showing gay signs. I guess I'll try to get to know him a little better because there's no way I'm saying anything...

 

LMAO...I don't know. It was Dirrty but in a dance/techno remix. He also has Lady Gaga's first song but I guess a lot of people liked it?

I try not to, I'm pretty careful with that. He's pretty attractive but there are other, more attractive guys I never even considered were gay.

Nothing makes him gay for sure. Maybe he did fall asleep, maybe he's just insecure and that's why he had weird reaction when someone called him gay, maybe he's trying to make friends to feel better during work.