well awhile ago i was asked out by a girl and i said yes without even thinking, the problem is I'm gay and i don't like her the way she likes me. i mean shes my friend and she means a lot to me but i don't love her. so i want to tell her with out hurting her. any tips? :help: and i misspelled gay i noticed in the title
Hi there and welcome to EC! Although this is going to be difficult but try to be as honest with her as you can. I think being honest and upfront with her, you will not only allow her to move on and to find someone else but you will also give yourself the chance to be honest with yourself. Maybe try inviting her for a coffee at a local coffee shop and let her know that you appreciate her feelings for you and that you are honoured that you know her. Then let her know that you don't have the same feelings for her. At the same time, let her know that she means a lot to you and that you do want to continue the friendship. Give her a few reasons as to why she means a lot to you. This will allow her to see that although you don't love her or have feelings for her in a romantic way, you still value her friendship. How well have you two gotten to know each other? Depending on for how long you two know each other, maybe try coming out to her, and let her know that this is the reason as to why you don't have the same feelings for her. She is going to be hurt, no matter how nice you are going to put it, but try to be as nice as possible with your word choices and phrases. I hope this helps a bit!
Hi, and welcome to EC! Situations like these always are among the toughest coming-outs. I recently found myself in a kind-of similar situation. A guy set me up with a girl, and we started texting, and mailing, and she really was pushing to set up a date. We never went on that date, because I ended up simultaneously stalling and leading her on. After a month of not getting to the point, I really started feeling guilty, because she was obviously developing some sort of feelings for me. In the end, I did do the right thing and told her (though only after a lot of agonising ). And yes, it hurt. She had to seriously change her expectations, and I felt bad for shattering her hopes. But in the end, it worked out fine. We’re friends, we write each other regularly, and we’re keeping the date as planned. Just not with any romantic expectations from either end. I think there’s still time to tell her. You don’t say how long you have been dating (or even if you have gone on that date yet). But it’s best to tell early on. It will be a disappointment for her. But it’s only going to be a small sting of hurt compared to the amount of hurt you’ll put her through if you wait longer. And if you explain yourself well, and be honest, she will understand!
