arggghh i HATE 'the scene'

Well its true that alot of gay men act in that way but there are plenty out there that don't too. Maybe you're looking in all the wrong places. Are you involved in any advocacy groups in your area? Maybe that would be a start.

 

I know I look at the gay section on craigslist, all about SEX. The lesbian ones aren't as bad, but still kinda.

Then I compare it to the heterosexual ones, it's all about romance, and then a little sex. But it's not so obscene.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that it's all guys? And a lot of guys just want one thing. Dunno..

 

i hear you...

thats all my experiences aswell..... they say crap they treat you like crap... vain with a capital V .....

all ive found is that looks and cheap shags are what matter

im sure youll find someone though got to believe there are decent people out there somewhere in real life.

 

I dunno why I am thinking in a British accent all of a sudden when I read your post Adam.

 

God tell me about it...that's all London (Canada) is. My roomie has a guy over like every night and I'm just like will you STOP!? It's like I don't care if they say 'do it when you're young' so it's like "Oh yeah I'll do it and get HIV when I'm young too!" It's just fucking pathetic.

I mean look at this!:

I mean seriously here in my city I have either A: young guys wanting daddies, B: young guys looking for cash for money >_>, or C: young guys looking for young guys for fucking, oh and D: Guys who actually WANT unprotected sex! It's fucking disgusting...

 

hmmm,are you sure,it's a big city,im sure there are very few people,that are not like that...I mean i'am sure it's hard...but everyone isn't the same

 

Oh no, I found someone, I'm just saying the majority in this city.

 

MY GOD i know i go to school and there are about 30 GLBTQ members there [ and thats shocking for arkansas ] and they all have had sex [ mostly with each another gay at the school ] and well i get shit for being a virgin and i am like WTF !?!?!?!?! i hate these damn stereotype fulfilling a$sholes it is so friggin annoying and i told them i want a meaningful relationship not a good hour with them ! so annoying because either the gay guys at my school either want to be with me , dont talk to me , or are just super conceited

 

Hi, i am from sydney too and I too find that it is hard to meet proper guys sometimes.

but do not despair. as per some of the advice above, i have been trying to go to groups, join those activities or organise activities with my friends. it is possible to meet many proper guys but it will take a bit more effort.

 

Well 99.9% of gay guys are vain sluts. Sadly there's no decent looking guys who aren't sluts. That's probably why it's so apparent, though, it's probably mostly the obnoxious gay guys who are sluts, so you don't see the 0.1% who aren't.

 

Those are just the people that put themselves out there. They run that scene because they created it. You can hate the scene, but it should not make you lose heart in finding a legitimate partner.

The scene your lookin for is by nature more reserved. There are more gay people than you may think, so don't lose heart, and don't lose your willpower to abstain from 'the scene.'

 

Watching Queer as Folk you get alot of understanding of the "club scene" and the gay community in general. I know alot of people had issues with how the main characters in QAF were all so into clubbing and some of them meaningless sex. But if you watch the show, something it does really well is show you inside the minds of all of these characters. You see why they do the things they do. They often do these things because they are trying to escape their lives outside of the clubs, something that may be so awful that most would just never be able to comprehend it. If Queer as Folk has taught me anything, that would be everyone deserves my respect, even if i dont agree with how they live. Behind every guy going out clubbing to get wasted and have meaningless sex, there is a person. A real person, no different than you or me. Looking at someone who is involved in this "club scene" you may just see the filth and the bad in them, but you really have to realize that you are no better than them, your the same person. That person you see may be the same one cleaning your teeth, writing your favorite novel, cooking for your night out, or fixing your car. They just escape that life when they are not on the job in a different way than you. And make no mistake, everyone escapes. Just remember that next time, and maybe give Queer as Folk a watch, they tackle this issue alot in brilliant ways.

*cough* now that the equality rant is over...

If you dont want a hookup, you just have to start looking in the right places. Online "dating" sites? Wrong. Clubs and Bars? Wrong. The bathroom stall? ...Very Wrong. Those are all the places you listed. Try looking at an Online "relationship" site. One that is clearly created for people to go out on a coffee date first. This would *not* be ####### or craigslist. Try hanging out at the nearest gay village more, during the day. Major cities often have a gay street or sector of town. Go to the "gay" coffee shot, the "gay" farmers market, the "gay" book store, ect. This is a great way to meet other gay people in a casual, everyday way (the way most hetero's find each other in Walmart). Try going to local gay meetings, ones that are not for hooking up, for example, a university "pride" club. A running theme here is try and surround yourself with high percentages of other gay people in a day to day fashion. Thats how most people find each other without doing it in a bathroom stall. As a gay person, your at a huge disadvantage because when your at the local Wal Mart you dont know whos gay and whos straight, all you know is around 90% of your gender does not think of you romantically period, factor in that the other 10% are not guaranteed to like you, let alone be single, and your odds are shit. This is why you go to gay themed things.

 

Yes, It's just like drugs or becoming an alcoholic. It's a way to escape life outside of the drugs and alcohol. I agree.

 

Maybe I'm shallow then. I guess I just proved my point. I need to have a physical and emotional attraction to someone whom I'd date. I'm just pointing out a fact that in my experience most good looking guys are whores. Imagine if your like me who is a little shallow, and wants a boyfriend who I'm somewhat attracted to physically, but they aren't a whore. Well, that's impossible to find. And, I'm going to say this much: Everyone cares somewhat about looks in a potential boyfriend. Don't you lie to me.

 

I am not a vain slut. I am looking for a relationship and not fuck buddies. I am not obnoxious. And I am at least "decent" looking. And that logic was just retarded because either your saying your not a vain slut or your not decent looking, both fails on your part.

 

Jeeze.