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Help with my 'School crush'.... :/

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by friendlyboy, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    Hi guys. So here's my story...hopefully i'll get some ideas from you... :slight_smile:

    Theres this guy in class(im in college) named Chris. He is well built and looks soo straight. I just spend time in class staring at him than focusing in on the class. He catched ..me looking at him and I also caught him once or twice looking at me back. He's been noticing my starings. And when you stare at a guy...especially a guy...im pretty sure that they'd be pissed. I look all nervous around him. Why would they want a boy to stare at them?

    So anways, we talked a few times. So far it's been just Hi, whats up?, are you liking the class,etc...
    We are usually always the last ones to get out of class. I wait so that I could walk and talk with him. To me it looks like he's been doing the same.
    One day we had a test. I was the only one left in class, I took my time. He left before me. I finish the test, get out of class, go outside and OMG there he is!! He was literally waiting for me to come out because when he saw me get out he just started to walk off, pretending that he didn't see me. I start to walk behind him...he looks back knowing that I'm behind him...he says hi and stuff...we talk than go home.

    Couple of weeks passed by now and I have his phone number. He's been txt messaging on the days that we have class together. Last week he randomly asked if we have a test on that day when he already knew the answer to it because 2 days before I asked the same thing to him, he was like ''no test this week''. Obviously he needed a reason to txt me and made up this question. lol

    Than, he txted me again saying he wont be coming to class and that he'll be bringing a sick note. Again a random text. Why tell someone that you wont be coming to class. We're not bff's or anything. lol.
    On the same day I txted him saying whats up. He replied saying ''all good. who was in class? was the hot blond girl there?'' I was suprized because although he looks so straight the way he's been acting it made me think that he might be gay and may even be interested in me. It looked weird.. all of a sudden he's asking about this girl in class. Its like he noticed I might be gay and he is trying to tell me that he's straight.
    I replied to him saying yeah the hot girl was there. See u next week!

    And now its December...been like 2 months... we're a little bit closer. Before class, he texted me saying if I have the homework. I was like yeah sure I'll let you copy. So we met before class started and we went into this empty DARK class room(omg) so he could sit and copy the homework. We talked a bit in the room. I seriously wanted to just jump on him in the dark. LOL! Anyways...
    When class ended, we were the only two left again. I got up, he looked and smiled at me when I got up from my seat.

    So do you think he's straight? No straight I know does this kind of stuff. It's so frustrating. Semester is over in like 3 weeks and who knows maybe i'll never see him again. Sad.

    I wrote a lot... hopefully some of you out there like reading stories like I do.
    Thanks a lot for any advice you can give.
    And yes, if you're wondering...obviously I'm new to this. No experience whatsoever so I need someone to point me to a direction. :slight_smile:
     
    #1 friendlyboy, Dec 2, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2009
  2. Alex19

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    omg i know how u feel. i had/have this thing for a boy in my english class and i only spoke to him once, however. i could have sworn hes gay but now i may never know for sure b/c he just dropped the class. hes there b4 it starts b/c the only girl in the class he talked to is who he waits there for. i know they dont have a thing for eachother but idk... i should have talked to him when i had the chance. mayb ill get lucky and have a class with him in the future

    but yea if ur not already, request him on facebook if u both have one. ull find out his orientation and if it works out to your advantage, take advantage :slight_smile:
     
  3. Andromeda

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    He's straight, leave him alone, he just likes you because you give off the vibe of worshiping him. And he's alright with that because he's secured in his orientation, or he likes to know someone is below him like yourself.

    I had a girl who was like you, she would stare at me and talk to me all the time, and it was a good feeling. I had no feelings for her, because first off I am gay, and second she wasn't exactly attractive.
     
  4. Cracked Actor

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    Add him on Facebook! Invite him over to your place to watch a movie or something, that's always good.
     
  5. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    Thank you all! :slight_smile:
    Yeah I would but I'm even afraid to ask his last name so I could add him if he has one. lol
    When I see him I just freeze ugh!! But I will, I have to..this is eating me up.
    Don't want to risk the little friendship we have...so I won't make any kind of romantic moves. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Doreibo

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    He could be gay, he could be straight. The thing about suspecting some one of something is that you look for those attributes in them and then they begin to stand out more than any other ones. It is hard to be objective in your observations, especially when love is involved. Become friends first before you start anything. Find the common ground, talk more, but try not to smother him, or let him drift for that matter. Also, if he is gay, he could be trying to figure things out. But if he isn't well. . .I dunno. . .dead end? In any case. Take it slow, and just go with the flow. You are your own best judge so do what YOU think is right. But make sure you are really thinking things through. Like a game of chess, think of the possibilities, and if it is worth it or not before you make a move.

    Hope it all turns out well :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Also if you want more advice I'm always here.
     
  7. Camman3

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    The funny thing about people is that they are always scheming for whatever is best for them. You were so busy worrying about him being straight that you didn't see that that text message about the blonde girl might have been his way of finding out if you were into girls. You have to look at it from his viewpoint.

    So either he's straight and he really does just like girls (still potentially bi though...) or you can go with your gut feeling and carry on getting closer to him. Even if he's not gay, he could become a really good friend :slight_smile:.

    Next time he sms you stuff like "hot girl", rather just say "yeah, she was there" than "yeah the hot girl was there. See u next week!" because he could have interpreted that as you being straight (you find girls hot). Not outwardly expressing interest in girls can show him subtly that you're not into them.

    If I were you, I would try and turn a conversation to an LGBT topic sometime (don't force it though) and see how he responds. When he asks for your opinion, give an honest answer. If he reacts homophobically in the first place (possibly if he's in denial), then reprimand him for being prejudiced and say there's nothing wrong with it.

    If he tries to see it your way, still a good friend/possible bf. If not (screaming faggot, asking if you're a "homo" etc)... well then you definitely don't need him in your life.

    So good luck :slight_smile: Keep us posted(*hug*)
     
  8. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    Aw thanks so much guys for answering. You're all awesome. :slight_smile:

    He hasn't come in class this week so i just msged him an hour ago saying how you been? He replied saying ''Hey i've been sick this entire week dude...i'll be there next week tho''.

    Camman3, you made my day with your first paragraph. lol! That is SO TRUE. It's what I have been thinking. Because it's weird for him to out of nowhere and randomly ask about a hot girl. Who does that? Because if a guy likes a hot girl he'd go for him...why talk about it to another guy?! Ugh, that was a mistake I did saying ''yeah the hot girl was there''...will never do that again.:lol:

    I've observed him and he pretty much has no one he talks to except me. Well on college campus anyways. I don't know how his life outside is but hopefully looking to change this soon. :slight_smile:

    Will keep you updated of course. Thanks a bunch!(&&&)
     
  9. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    Well its been 2 weeks since I've seen him because he hasnt been showing up to class. I miss seeing him so much. I messaged him and he writes back nice responses but its only when I write to him.
    If he was interested in me he would message me himself. Or maybe Im just way over thinking this making it a big deal?
    I think I'm going to move on because its making me depressed or maybe just gather the courage to ask him to a movie. I don't want to do this over text. :/
     
  10. Jjboy

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    Wow dude, we have had the same exact things happen to us cept I am in HS :wink:. Anyways, let me tell you how it went for me then compare it to your story. At the beginning of year, I met the boy of my dreams (basically he had me at hello). I would also stare at him at times and like you said, a straight guy would get pissed but instead, he didn't and even stared back sometimes. Few weeks later I added him on facebook and he asked me for the math homework, pretty simple question right? Well it turned into a big convo. The next day in class, we were moved seats and I now sit right in front of him. We became really great friends, and from then on he started showing me so many signs that he might be interested in me but can't say it. Everyday that we had PE, he would wave to me since we were not in the same classes and it would make my day and I would wave back. Over a few more weeks, we would talk on FB, Text, and walk together to classes almost everyday and I decided I would ask him the following Friday (which from now was exactly last Friday). So I made it interesting and told him I had something very important to tell him on Friday. He texted me and texted me trying to figure out what it was. I then talked to my openly gay friend and he said, "No straight guy would be so curious from a big secret from another guy". This boosted my confidence hoping I would get him for sure. The big day came, I was so nervous, he ran up to me and said, "Ready to tell me?" I said, "Yeah." We went were no one could hear us and it took me a while to get it out but eventually, I told him "I'm Bisexual,...... and I kind of like you. Are you...Gay? or anything like that?" He just put his head down and shook it, no, then he said "Sorry dude, I'm not". Of course I was very sad but now we are still great friends and it doesn't seem to bother him.


    Pretty similar other than the asking him stage? I'd think so, and he also did wait for me after class ended one time but we actually did walk together. But don't let your mind automatically tell you he's gay, thats kind of what happened with me and it ended up not going my way. Try to get him to chill with you when you both are free and get to know eachother. He may just be trying to get closer to you, which now I realize is what my crush was doing with me. Keep in contact and build on the friendship with him, and when you get to the point where you know you can trust him, plan a day to ask him, and as hard as it was for me, I'm sure you can ask him that question, if you get the answer you're looking for, I'm so glad for you :slight_smile:! If not, don't fret, you're heart will recover, it was a tough 2 days for me but it was well worth the info and I am glad I did it before I got too attached to him, but if he's ever curious, he know the guy to talk to!

    Got any other questions, feel free to message me bro.
     
  11. Camman3

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    I think taking the step to "asking him out" is the next best thing to do. By texting him, you keep your friendship/thing as chilled as its always been - no pressure, but if it's really bothering you, just call him, say you miss his company and you are inviting him to a movie. You can try be a little playful. You know... "No exceptions - I'll meet you outside .... at 7" or whatever... :slight_smile:

    Just play it cool for now. I would pursue this a little longer. If you really find that nothing can come from this, then you should start preparing yourself to move on. This opportunity should give you a chance to see if you're really compatible, or if he's actually everything you hate in a guy.

    In either case, just try and enjoy yourself :slight_smile: That's what this is all about in the first place. Good luck! (and don't you dare not keep us posted!:wink:)
     
  12. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    Jjboy, wow what a story man. Im glad you had to guts to tell him that. Pretty nice that he was cool with it. If only I could do that.

    UPDATE: I texted him today saying what happened to you and he said he's failing so he decided not to go to class anymore. It's officially over. He wasn't even gonna let me know if i didnt text him. I don't think he cares about me at all. Maybe he just played around.
    I texted him back saying ''wow ok txt me sometime if you wanna hang out''. He didnt reply back. He didnt even say whats up? Its very depressing. I think I will have to move on. All this hope for nothing. Love sucks ass!! :frowning2:

    So I'll never see him again probably.
     
  13. Jjboy

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    Nooo don't say that, he doesn't want to come to class cause he is failing, not because he doesn't care about you, maybe he is in a tough time right now so don't give up! I wanted to as well but my heart said don't quit. It was so satisfying to get it off my chest when I first did it so I think you should just show him you want to talk and eventually he will catch on to it hopefully and then start asking you if you want to go somewhere. Don't quit bro, its the worst feeling when you never know what may have been.
     
  14. guttej

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    aww im sorry about that(*hug*)

    Its ok. I wouldnt give up just yet. Text him again in a couple of days. Maybe he didnt get the text.

    Hope it works out:thumbsup:
     
  15. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    Aww thanks guys. Im just so upset I don't know what to think or do anymore. But one thing Im happy about is that I got his number when I had that chance. I can still contact him...it would've been worse if i didnt get his number.

    I'll just wait a couple of more weeks I guess than ask him to hang out. All the attention he gave me...I just want to know why why why??? :slight_smile:

    You guys make me feel better thanks a bunch. Good to let it all out. :slight_smile:
     
  16. friendlyboy

    friendlyboy Guest

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    ''I thought Im failing anyways so I've decided no to come :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:''

    Do you think this is a bad reply guys? He replied exactly like this. I felt like he did that :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: expressions to let me know that he knows I'm into him,I care about him and he thinks I should back off or something.

    lol

    Im way over thinking things and going crazy gosh!!! :grin:
    I just felt that his reply was sarcastic and bad. I dont know... cant stop thinking about this :/
    :slight_smile:
     
  17. guttej

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    to me it sounds like he is saying that to be cool.

    Like the kind of people who do good on test but say they suck at taking test, around their peers.
     
  18. Jjboy

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    Like I said before, exact same things, I would freak out over the slightest bit of things he would do to make me happy lol. I'd go home and tell all my girlfriends and they'd be like "awww thats cute" and i'd be like "-laughing- shut up :wink:" Trust me, it never leaves your mind for a second. Even though I already came out to him, I still feel the same way about him, just now I know, almost nothing I do can change that. But keep talking to him! Even if you run out of things to say, show him you care but don't make it too obvious! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  19. friendlyboy

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    Haha yeah. I'll just txt him time to time even if HE doesn't txt me himself. I'm already like in the ''desperate person who is in love who would do anything'' situation. He probably noticed with all my texts. Let's see... :grin:

    Oh and I regret this so much but...I told him that today was my last day to go to that class because theres no way of me passing it too(which is true). I wish I hadn't...its like saying ''if ure not there, im not going''. Lol!
    Wish I hadn't but too late now..
     
    #19 friendlyboy, Dec 10, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2009
  20. Jamieftm

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    All I can really say to this. Is just go with the flow, keep him close as a friend, and if he is gay, and does like you, he'll come to you, he'll show it more and more as you get to be better friends. Don't worry too much about anything, worriing just gets in the way. Live your life and relax, the good things will come to you. If you love someone, let them go, if they come back to you, you know theyre suppose to be with you.