I don't know if it's because of my genes, but I have felt the urge for about 4 or 5 years almost every day. I've always been bored with everything since I could remember, but I just feel like I'm wasting my teenage years away. I'm basically dissatisfied with everything in life at this point. I've been aware of my homosexuality for about 10 or 11 months and I'm still completely closeted. Every day I feel more and more hate for everyone, most of all myself. I'm sorry if I sound too whiny right now. I just want the urge to go away or be satisfied.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't really think it's your genes but it could be some imbalance of hormones in your brain that cause you to be unhappy. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist? You might need medicine to help, but I don't know. Anyways, if you need someone to rant to my inbox is open. Well actually since your a regular member I don't think you can.... I haven't been here in a while. Leave me a wall message if you want to. Hope you feel better. :x
If you really feel that you have nothing to live for, it probably wouldnt bother you that much to come out, because it's better than killing yourself. You might find that you feel a lot better about life once you feel like you can be yourself! And you're not alone, a lot of kids your age can feel pretty down, especially if you're figuring out and accepting that you're gay at such a young age. I say, save yourself the hassle later on and just try coming out and see if that helps, if not, atleast you'll have one less thing to worry about!
Hi there! First off, (*hug*) Please talk to someone whenever you have suicidal thoughts. Call a friend, call a youth or support help line. Please try to talk to a counselor at your school. If you can, please make an appointment. It is important that you begin to address the underlying causes. It seems that there are a number of things going on in your life and are bothering you. Know that, you are not wasting your teenage years away. Everything you do counts towards accomplishing something. I'm sure you have accomplished a lot of things already. But also know, that you can change your life. You can do things differently. Maybe it is just a matter of finding something that you really like doing. Try not to hate yourself. There is a reason why coming out takes time. Coming out is not easy, and depending on where we live, and our social surroundings, it becomes even harder. But maybe you could also talk about coming out with a counselor. The more support you gain from others, the 'easier' it will become, the more secure you will feel and the better you will also feel about yourself. Also, hang out here on EC. Try to get to know others. EC allows you to be yourself, where you don't have to have the feeling that you need to hide. Use EC to start being yourself. Maybe that will already help you a bit. But please seek help by either talking to a counselor at your school or in your community. Talk to friends or perhaps call a youth support help line. Here is the LINK to the Trevor Project. You can reach their helpline under 1866-488-7386. (*hug*)
Welcome to the club bro. I have known I was gay since I was like 10? Can't even remember so it was a long time ago. I'm still in the closet and I also suffer from depression. However, I live a relatively happy life. I smile every day, laugh, make other's laugh and most of all enjoy life. What I do is I try to find something happy or beautiful or insightful or inspirational in just about anything. If you walk around with your music going, turn it off, take out your headphones and try just taking in everything around you. The sounds, the sights, the smells. Don't look down as you walk, look up, look further up. Trees, birds, clouds, sunshine, flowers, interesting buildings, funny signs. It is all there to enjoy and it is always present. All you have to do it look for them. Also happiness is something that is best shared. If you can, make other people happy. Joke with them, and talk more often. If everyone around you is happy I'm sure it will make you happy too. Also, another bit of advice, do you remember a moment in your life where you just felt inexplicably happy? Or experienced something amazing for the first time in your life. Maybe seeing snow? Playing with a sibling or a really great holiday? Try to associate your normal life with this simple and child like awe and amazement. Hold on to your youth, and don't worry! Be happy! (singing) Now about your being in the closet. If you figured it out in the last 11 months, don't feel down about still being in the closet. I have been in it for years and I still keep going. I will come out, but I am patient about it and willing to wait. It may sound hard to deal with everything, but it gets easier. Trust me, when the hormones stop running high and puberty is settling down, you'll feel better. If you do feel as if things are too much to handle, reach out to other people. Talk to parents and family. Friends, and maybe even teachers. Life is a hard burden to bear, and it is one that no one should have to bear alone. If you lower your walls, and let other people in closer to you, you will probably be better for it. But of course, everything that I say should be taken with some common sense. Your situation may be different or unsuitable for this advice so you are your own judge. Take things with a pinch of salt and remember: "Don't Worry! Be Happy!" If you need any advice I am always here. PS: Nice signature Austin LOL. Oh the Irony! See dude? Always something to laugh at.
I'm really sorry that you feel this way. I have also felt depressed at times, and for a period of time about 3 years ago, I also wondered if it would be easier to simply end it all. Thankfully I didn't. You would be amazed at how much life can change, and how much brighter your future can become, in just a few weeks or months. And most of that change is within your control to make. Being dissatisfied with everything has more to do with your expectations, and very little to do with your actual circumstances. Your situation, the things and the people around you, are neutral. But how you perceive them and deal with them makes them positive or negative in your eyes. At the same time, you might have a chemical imbalance that is causing everything to have a negative 'slant' to it. Have you told anyone that you feel this way? Your parents, a counsellor, your family doctor? If not, you need to. It's not necessary to go through life being so unhappy. But it still requires you to take the first steps towards happiness. You need to ask for help, and you need to want to see things improve. They can improve, and they will improve, if you want them to. You can also feel free to PM me or any other member of the staff. There's no need for you to feel so down and alone.
