A few months ago, I found myself hooking up with a random in some public toilets. It was a completely one time thing and I felt really ashamed after doing it. SO months have passed since then and I have found myself going from public toilet to public toilet in a hope that I will get some more action, everytime I go to town. I have realised that this is very dangerous as I could be hooking up with anyone, but it is also illegal to be doing that, and in some parts of the country undercover policeman are situated and as soon as you initiate anything, you get arrested. I want to stop, but its so hard when I have to go to town for work each week.
Find another sexual outlet... Even a [Removed] (but meet in public first and be safe!) would be better as far as not risking getting arrested. Consider how humiliating it would be to be arrested for something like that
You need an outlet for yourself... find something other than that. It's destructive behaviour that realistically most likely only end badly for you. I have done something similar to what you're doing now... after I came out I wanted to have sex with a man to kind of cement the deal. I got on craigslist and found a random hook-up it was alright but afterwards I was ashamed of myself for what I had done. A few days passed and low and behold I was back on craigslist cruising for a hook-up. My friend stepped in and made me realize what I was doing was'nt a good idea at all. It's hard when you find an outlet like that where it's easy to get what you want... but do the pro's outwiegh the con's? So you bust a nut and go on your way, is it worth the possibility of being caught and becoming a sex-offender? Catching HIV? Herpes? For me the possibility of catching something from a complete stranger vs. the enjoyment of random sex was'nt worth it.
Yes, you simply have to stop doing this. This isn't an appropriate way to behave. It is FAR to dangerous in many respects, and it is not a healthy way to deal with your sexuality. Unfortunately, this is the way many men deal with their sexuality when they don't want to really deal with their orientation in a more wholistic way. In a way they 'compartmentalize' their orientation by only recognizing it when they engage in this kind of behaviour - which is usually behaviour that is otherwise out of character. Men that classify themselves as 'curious' and can't admit (yet) that they're gay or bi. You aren't the only person that has gone down this path. I wish someone had told me to 'give my head a shake' and 'get real'. And 'getting real' means coming to terms with your orientation and dealing with it in a healthy and responsible way. It isn't necessary to do all of this secretly. Coming out and making your orientation a part of your life takes it out of it's own discrete 'comparment' and you'll be less likely to take actions like this going forward. If you want to talk more about this privately, please send me a PM.
