Okay, so I thought I was bisexual, I was SURE... But then I started reading stories about gay teens and realized that I felt so much in common with them, it was unreal. I've dated 4 girls in my life. I've never felt anything. I thought I liked a girl, then we go out and I lose all feelings I had. I just thought of them as really good buddies. I just thought I had crushes on girls, and I did, but then it just...*pssshhhh*....deflated and died. I think I'm gay. When I was little, I never liked sports, still do. All of my friends were always girls. I just felt more like girls. I've deep down always felt different from other guys. I've only fallen in love with one guy. Although never had a crush on one. I don't want to be gay. I don't want my life to be torture. I just want to be normal I think I'm in denial...and I feel lonely, like something is missing. :tears:
Well you're 15 years old. You've got lots of time to figure out whether you're gay or not, and lots of time to come to terms with it. 'Normal' is a relative term - we're all normal.
Well if you've considered yourself bi for a while, it wont be too much of a shock for people if you tell them that you're gay. I dont see why you couldn't say you're bi anyways, no one will know the difference if you only date guys. Though when I first came out I had told people I was bi, and now I want them to know there's no possibility of me being with a woman...
it is not uncommon for people to think they are bi as a unconciuse bridge to realizing and accepting that they are gay. I went through it at your age, even though I never have in my life been attracted to a female. It might be similer to what you are going through.
Hi there! No worries. In time you will figure all your feelings out. Explore your feelings and follow whatever feels right for you. (*hug*) As Jim mentioned, it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is. You are normal. Your sexual orientation is just a small part of you. There are so many other things that define you as a person - far more important things. Maybe what would help you is if you would talk to someone about your feelings. Does your school have a counselor? If so, maybe try talking to a counselor about some of your feelings. Talking about them could help you in figuring them out. Another thing you could try is finding a youth support group either at your school or in your community. Talking to others who are going through a similar experience could help you in figuring things out and coming to terms with it. The feeling or understanding and support can go a long way in making your journey less stressful and less overwhelming. The most important thing though is that you do take your time in figuring things out. There is no need to label yourself at this stage, or try to fit one particular category. Sexual identities are fluid and they can change over time. But know that things will become clearer over time, and will start to make more sense. I hope this helps a bit!
I just can't see myself with a woman. I know it's weird but I just don't...ugh. I kissed a girl and hated it. I felt repulsed. Never want to do it again
"I kissed a girl and I hated it! The smearing of her cherry 'what the sh**'. I kissed a girl cuz it was normaaal, hope my closet's locked tight!" ♫ Sorry, I couldn't help it. Cheer up buddy. I know there's pressure to find out what you are, but if you have to deal with your internal homophobia first. Do things you love (hobbies), get in touch with your soul, and realize... *whispers* No one's "normal". We may not be of the majority, but we're far from abnormal. (*hug*)
(*hug*) I'd say you know...I wish we could be there in person, because I imagine real hugs would feel a whole lot better. You're fine, you're not wrong. By the way, I don't think that's wierd. :icon_wink
You sound exactly like me, actually. I considered myself Bi for years. I was still never completely sure of it, so I never considered coming out as bi...partially because I probably knew deep down I was gay. I had crushes on girls all through school. Though, looking back, I guess I never really "crushed" on guys. I guess "lust after" is the proper term for it. I blame this on the fact that, at that age, I never really considered having a relationship with them...because I didn't know you could. Best advice I can give you is to go with what feels right. And your life wont be torture, no matter how your life goes.
I got this one! lol! I know exactly what you are feeling. Before I came out, I had had two girlfriends. THe current one i was with I thought i was gonna marry. I always knew something was different about me, i felt it. For a while I just blew it off as just "a phase" or "experimenting" but i knew there was more to it than that. So during highschool i just considered myself Bi. Of course i never told a soul cuz i was so affraid, but deep sown i convinced myself i was bi. So thats how i cam to love my girlfriend so much, but i knew it just wasnt right. My friend asked me one day on a bike ride if i thought i was really bi or if i was just compromising. If i just couldnt give up on being straight and "normal". Calling myself bi was my only link to the normal life. So i thought about it and it just hit me like a bus. I was just making a compromise. I was lying to myself so i could live a semi normal life. Withing two weeks, i broke up with my girlfriend (who i am even closer to now as friends) and came out to my friends and family. I had never been so nervous and scared in my life but i knew it had to be done. I couldnt live that lie anymore. Ive been out over a year now and its been the best year of my life... hopefully going to get better as time goes on. Now i know this may not be the case for you. Not everyone who is "bi" is really gay. But thats my story and I'm sticking to it. You just have to ask yourself, is this who i really am? Is this the life i know i should be living? The answer may take time to come to you, you jsut have to listen. Be true to yourself and it will come to you.
Your life will never be torture if you accept who you are. I would suggest seeing a counsellor or therapist because it is so important to talk through these feelings with somebody you can trust and somebody who knows how to help! *hugs*
soooo true! just find someone to talk to. It helps to just get it out of your head and have help thinking it through. A fresh pair of eyes and ears may be just what you need. The decision will still be yours to make, but that doesn't mean you are alone.
I'll echo Jim's sentiments. Don't worry about being normal. The way I look at it is that we are all weird. One of the great things about being young is exploring and figuring out all this stuff. So don't worry about the label. Just run with it and have fun.
Hey again, I also classified myself as bi before. I actually went through all 4 bases: Straight ---> Bi-curious (I'm not gay! Psssh!) ---> Bi (okay... I like guys, too) ---> Gay (don't be stupid, you don't like girls). So yeah, I would think it's really common. Ask some of your contacts/friends on EC - just leave them a message on their wall - and see if that happened to them too. It helps to know that others have gone through the same thing. To some it may appear a torturous life, but once you accept yourself for who you are, you will see that it really isn't any different to a heterosexual's life (in most aspects). Many more people than you know are accepting - and you will see that's true when you get there I promise you everything is going to be okay (*hug*).
