Alright so after like a month of planning for this day where I would ask my first guy out, and getting so much support from friends that know about me already and all the signs that he has given me, I decided to ask him today. We have started becoming good friends before this so I thought it would be a good time to try. I told him I am Bisexual and said I had some feelings for him, I asked him if he was gay or anything like that, and he just put his head down and said "No, sorry dude." I asked him if he was cool with it and wouldn't speak to anyone on this subject, and he said "What happens behind the tree, stays behind the tree dude." which made me smile but still felt awkward on how our classes would be now. Of course I was crushed by this as he had me at hello and was the first guy I have ever asked out. All I can do is think of him and I don't know what to do and I feel now our friendship will deteriorate if I don't do something soon because he is such a cool guy and I wouldn't want to lose him as a friend. I want to ask him to hang out with me at the park or something on an upcoming weekend but I am not sure if this is the right choice to make. Any advice and tips will be GREATLY appreciated!
Invite him to a group event or something else totally non-threatening. Group events work because your not alone with him and both of you have a way out if things get too awkward. Anything else non-threatening is good too, but any one on one time like hanging out in the park might scare him off. With your classes you can discuss homework/classwork with him and that way he sees you still want to be friends.
Thing is, we don't have too many mutual friends so that might be a problem. I kind of just want to sit with him and let him know somethings that are still on my chest and since I am still in the closet to about the entire school other than a few, a group event wouldn't work as I can't express anything there to him directly without making it so I'm keeping it a secret from everyone else.
Then do it over facebook/myspace/e-mail/MSN/ect. Or the phone/text. However you do it thought, try and act like its no big deal and keep it short, and try and throw in some other topics before/after talking about whats on your chest to "cushion" that part. (School and shit works great) If i put myself in his shoes, your on the line between "friend" and "creepy bi/gay guy who likes me" and even if he seems supportive, he might not want to get too close right now. Maybe im way off, but this is how i act every time a girl likes me a little bit too much and i out myself to her.
You can still hang out of course, but remeber he said he isn't into you that way, so don't push it. If he just wants to be friends then you'll either have to go with it from there or stop hanging out.
Gotta agree with the above. He's shown that he's not interested in you, so meetups with just the two of you are likely to be awkward as hell for him. Even if you don't have mutual freinds, a group setting is probably best for now, however you can organise it.
probably not the best thing to come out to him AND tell him you have feelings for him at the same time... but hey its done now he might need to time and space to get used to it... just stay friendly with him, and yes, inviting him out in a group is a great idea i think i straight friend of mine knows i like him.. we are still good friends but i guess everyone is different. you could just act like you never told him, and it probably wouldnt be a good idea to bring up the topic again for quite a while
Well, I want to get a few things off my chest and he is a chill guy so I think he will listen. During lunch or something I'll ask him to sit with me for a few minutes so I can tell him a few things but we still talk sometimes as if it never happened. But I do feel hes gonna bring up the topic before I do so lets just wait and see what happens. Overall though I am 95% over it due to support from my friends and fun they showed me today to help get the pain away and out of my mind. Now I hardly even think of him and met a new guy I am sortta interested in. We hung out all night tonight (he's my friend's neighbor) and for probably 85% of the time we would just be talking to eachother, getting a friendship going and laughing. I got his number holla baby! Haha. So this just makes me feel a lot better and will update what happens in school on Monday.
