So, it seems like I come running here every few days with yet another issue. I need help opening up/ coming out of my shell/ etc. I'm usually a very silly and fun person. However, I'm also very reserved around people I don't know insanely well, which is why I'm here. I've just started dating this girl, and I'm not myself around her. I'm very closed off and nervous around her. I need to open up, but I can't seem to. This reason was why my last girlfriend and I broke up. So, if any of you guys have any suggestions on how I can open up around her, I'd reallllly love to hear them.
Hi there! From my own experience, talking about common things helps in breaking the ice and in becoming more comfortable with talking and opening up. Maybe start talking about things you two have in common such as school and/or perhaps one or two hobbies and build the conversation on that. Once you have a better read on her, and she has told you a bit about herself, it might also be easier for you to open up about yourself. Try to avoid topics with which you feel uncomfortable or are not sure how to respond to. If she mentions something with which you can identify (either through having had a similar experience or perhaps even an opposite experience) build on that by bringing your experience. Also, asking questions in response to what she has said can also help in building a conversation and in becoming more comfortable and opening up. Hope this helps a bit!
I'd say you should tell her what you just told us. Lead with your weakness. It puts people at ease. I'm sure she is feeling insecure right now too, and if she senses that you're on edge, she might be assuming it is something she is doing wrong.
oh wow, i really like this one, i would have never thought of it! full support. and heres my bad advice: get drunk (don't take my bad advice, go with the other two)
If you're nervous or closed off, let her know that's not suually you and that it takes time to open up. She'll realize it's not her doing anything wrong and that you just need time to come out of your shell. That's basically a rehashing of what the previous posts said. It should probably put her at ease because she'll realize you need to get out and have fun.
