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Fears Grandma is eyeing girls at church to set up with me.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Emberstone, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. Emberstone

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    I dont go to church for many reasons. One, I dont live near my church. Two, I cant afford the gas to drive to my church. Three, I just dont get much out of going to church. I still believe in God, and try to live a good life, but sitting in a pew for a hour hearing sermons and singing doesnt make me feel any closer to God.

    Well, tonight, I called my grandma to ask her a few questions, and she was talking about her upcoming surgery, and how greatful she is that she has her health insurance, and that she is sick of her political party stalling life saving insurance cause the insurance companies dont want to be made to insure people. We started talking about it from a religious standpoint about how christ's ministry was focused on the poor, the sick, and the infirm, and that all christians have a responciblity to remeber and help those people. We talked for like five minutes about it, and she was like "you know, you should come back to church. You will feel better if you do, and maybe even find yourself a good wife."

    She keeps dropping these hints that I need to go start dating, and start thinking about getting married. She constantly asks me when I am going to go out and get a girlfriend. I always blow the question back by askingif I really look like I have time for that.

    But, I think because she is getting up there in years *about 80*, and her body finally is starting to turn on her, slowing her down, she desperately wants to see my cousin and me find someone and get married.

    When you get her on the phone, you can chat with her for a hour, and only talk yourself for five minutes. throughout the conversation, I couldnt help but wonder if I should just get it over with and tell her. I feel wrong about doing it on the phone.

    going to call my mother.
     
  2. Confusicus

    Confusicus Guest

    Ok sorry, but when I saw the title to this post I had to LOL, all I could see was, "Fears Grandma is eyeing girls at church..." I thought well it's a little late to start, but good for her!

    I honestly don't have much advice on this situation as I've only came out to one person completely. I hope it goes well if you do tell her. Maybe slip her a well thought out hand written note? Old fashioned I know, but grandmas love that kinda stuff. (*hug*)
     
  3. Nick

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    Do you know what your grandmother's position on homosexuality is ?

    If she is okay with it, and you feel comfortable with telling her that you're gay, you could do that.
    If she is half-and-half (that is, half for it), coming out to her could persuade her to be more pro-homosexual.
    If she is devoutly religious and isn't a fan of homosexuality, perhaps hold off telling her.

    If you do decide to tell her, I say that you either do it in a handwritten letter, like Confusicus says, or do it face-to-face.

    Ultimately, however, it is up to you if you decide to tell her or not.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  4. Emberstone

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    She is somewhat weird in some ways. She is anti homosexuality, but she is more liberal in some areas. She supports abortions for cases of rape, incest, and if the pregnacy will harm the mother and the child. She is a life long republican, but she is against the afganistan war, and supports the democratic healthcare.

    It is worrisome because none of us *who know about me being gay* can be sure if she would react positively, neturally, or negatively.

    When she found out my cousin on my dad's side was a lesbian, in a commited relationship, and was having a baby, she was against the idea of them having children. She also complained about how the pastors at my church are debating recent movements within the lutheren church body on their views of providing services to same-sex unions. She is very much against our church blessing civil unions.

    So, she can be hard to read.
     
  5. calstad

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    hah, same goes for me. my grandma keeps asking me if I found a girlfriend. Im in the military so she keeps telling me to find a wife in the Army. Even if I did come out to her she would just go on asking me if I found a girlfriend 20 minutes later, you see, she's becoming a little senile.
     
  6. Peter

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    OK, one generation removed, but I recognize the story. I came out at the age of 53 and have decided that I need not tell my mother (85 years old and I recognize those phone calls, the sad bit being that at the end of the call, I have no idea what she talked about): I don't see what advantage it would bring me or her. I would recommend a stock answer along the lines of "waiting for the right one to come along", or a joke answer ("I checked out at the 7-eleven, but they are fresh out"). When you are 15 and living with your parents, I believe it is necessary to tell them, otherwise, in this case, I don't see what it will bring either your grandmother or yourself.