I think of myself as a very strong person. Both physically and mentally. When I recently came out to myself it was one of the most difficult things I have done. I finally just stopped beating around the bush and asked myself "What would make myself the happiest? Being with a woman or a man?" You all know my choice even though I now know it was not a choice at all. This is the way I am. I want to come out to my family and friends very soon but I have some anxiety. I'm trying to not create hypothetical situations but I still do. I have been putting out feelers with different people that seem well masked. It is very likely people can see right through me and are just thinking "Mike just tell us so we can get on with our life." Is there a "right" time to come out or should I just do it when I'm comfortable. I almost came out to two of my friends on Thursday but chickened out. I am a 30 year old gay man and know life will be so much better when I am totally open. I'm still scared though.
Life is short then you're dead... live your life to the fullest. Crappy crap I know. This video is motivational, I guess if you think of it more than weight lost it could help. [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_iymEPjgGU[/YOUTUBE]
There is never really a "right" or "perfect" time to come out. You'll always be busy doing things in life (from what I've found). Although, there are 'better' times when you should come out than others. For example: don't come out to parents or someone you're super nervous about during rush hour traffic when they feel a ton of roadrage... Whereas: if you're having a meal or doing something like a hobby or sport together, you could say: "I've had a lot on my chest that I want to clear up. I consider you a good friend and I hope your opinion of me doesn't change. I'm gay." Be sure to come out to close friends/colleagues or people you know first, so you can gain a support network for times when you will feel the lows of coming out process. (*hug*)
Sadly no, there isn't ever a "perfect" time to come out. There may be a perfect opportunity, and it is up to you to seize said opportunity. Do it when you're ready. When you feel right, only then will be the perfect time to come out and live as the person you want to be.
Hi there! Congratulations on accepting and coming out to yourself. In many ways the hardest part is already behind you! The first couple of coming outs can be scary and perhaps even overwhelming but know that with time and the more you come out, the easier it gets and the more comfortable you will feel about it. As others have mentioned above, there is not really 'a right time' to come out; rather it really depends on how you feel and whether you feel you are ready to come out. If you feel that you are ready and comfortable with coming out, then maybe start with a friend who you trust and know will support you no matter what. Try to build your support network first before coming out to your family. Having almost come out to friends is a good start. Trying to come out is as important as actually coming out. Trying counts for a lot too. Sometimes, it is easier to talk to a friend one on one at a coffee shop or over a bite to eat. Maybe start by coming out to one person/friend first. Like this, you have greater control over the conversation and can keep your friend's attention focused on you. I hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)
There's never a perfect time. That's for sure. But it does get easier the more often you do it. Good luck!
Sadly, there is never a perfect time to come out. Except for some very rare occasions, such opportunities rarely present themselves. But it seems as if you're ready as you'll ever be! You got to the point where you stop wondering about whether you should do it, and gotten to the point where you are just wondering how people will react when you tell them. For me at least, that was the final stage before going ahead and just telling people (in fact, my last thought before I finally came out to people was "oh no, they probably already know, and I'll look like a fool for waiting too long to tell them" :icon_wink). You just need to make the right opportunity happen. You could single out one or two of your closest friends (the ones you're almost sure will accept you) and arrange so you can talk to them in a place you're not likely to be disturbed. That can be a coffee house, or at home, while driving in a car or even chatting on MSN. And then you just need to tell them. It kind of feels like jumping off a cliff without seeing the safety net. But as I and many others can promise you, the net is there! Of course, if you don't like coming out to them directly, there are other options. Sending them a letter can work too! It has the advantage of not needing to set a conversation up. On the other hand, it takes a bit longer to get response back, so it might be more nerve-racking in that regard. The first coming oput is hard, but you can do it! And if you need any help more support, we're always here!
There is no perfect or correct time to come out. It may be a relaxed moment with some friends or a carefully planned moment with the relatives, but when it comes try to grab the moment. As you say they may already know, or just not care - one of my comings out was met with the answer from my friend of "is there any more cake?" his wife went on to make the correct supportive noises. So there is no official right time to come out (visions of man with clip board checking that we are all doing it correctly) just when you are ready - and it sounds as if you are indeed ready. So good luck. Cheers Prester
i fully believe in coming out when you're comfortable. and that is the perfect time to come out. don't mistake comfortable with not being scared though. we're always scared to come out to new people, all the time, it just gets easier to get over the fear with practice. i've considered myself fully out of the closet, but every time i have to tell someone that hasn't already found out i still have to mentally prep.
I think the right time is just whenever it feels right for you, and before its the right time you wont believe that it will come or that you could do it, but it will and you'll do it, that doesnt mean to say that it will be easy or that you wont plan to and chicken out several times first, (it happens to us all) but once you've done it, it will be worth it. Just remember everyone is here to support you if you need it.
