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I am Lost!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hello11536, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. hello11536

    Regular Member

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    So I know for sure that I am attracted to men sexually and would have sex with a man in a split second!

    But.. I'm in a way confused about having and actual relationship with a man. It's just kinda confusing for me because I don't think I would feel comfortable for instance holding hands in public or saying "Oh yeah I have a boyfriend" but luckily I don't have to worry about that because I am in the closet.

    So any advise on this subject would be greatly appreciated!:confused:
     
  2. Torture

    Torture Guest

    Well I'm no expert in this type of topic but it sounds like you're scared to admit who you really are. If you're Bisexual or Gay you should be proud of who you are and not afriad to admit or show it. Sexuality is a part of life and if someone can't respect you for who you are, then you get my drift.
     
  3. CrimsonThunder

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    Its un-comfortable because in you're mind you still think its wrong or un-natural. So to be able to say "I have a boyfriend" proudly you'll need to get your brain to think its all ok.
     
  4. Paul_UK

    Paul_UK Guest

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    You've spent your life so far in a straight world, surrounded by straight people, seen straight people on TV etc. So naturally you see things as straight=OK, and being gay or gay relationships don't fit into that.

    It's not unusual to think it's all a bit odd when you first start coming out. Give yourself time to adjust to the whole idea. The way we live our lives is different from normal, and part of coming out is accepting this and embracing it.

    This is why quite a lot of openly gay people have the attitude of "I don't care what other people think about it, it's right for me".
     
  5. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    Why would you not feel comfortable about being openly gay? Is it because being gay seems like an alien idea to you? Or is it because the area where you live is very homophobic?

    If it's just because being gay is an alien idea to you, then you needn't worry. We all go through stages of acceptance, and it seems as if you've already accepted yourself for who you are. I'm sure that you will, with time, feel comfortable with the idea of being openly gay.

    If, however, you uncomfortableness about being openly gay stems from a fear of being the target of anti-gay violence by homophobes in your area, then your fears are justified, and I can only wish you the best.
     
  6. godfather

    godfather Guest

    probobaly because this is a newidea and feeling for you but dont woory you will find out if your gay or bisexual or anything when the time comes when you do or dont have a relationship with a boy and you able to say this is my boyfriend!!
     
  7. SpikySpice

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    Well, all you have to do is to find a way to feel comfortable, and if you really like your boyfriend, really love him, you suddenly have an amazing strength that you just scream out he's my bf

    Or u are uncomfortable because you dont know your orientation yet, so just find out your real person, and I'm sure then everything will be smooth
     
  8. Miaplacidus

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    I agree with the rest. When I first did something with a guy in public, it was really awkward and I had to take things slowly. After a while we were being really naughty, but that's another story...
     
  9. LorenzG1950

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    I've been out for about 18 months and I'm only now starting to figure out what kind of relationship I'm looking for. Until now, I hadn't given it any thought, like a kid in a toy store :eusa_danc .

    Showing affection in public with your boyfriend depends on how comfortable you are about letting the world know that you're gay. It takes time so don't worry if you have inhibitions about holding hands or kissing in public. It also depends on where you're at. If you are in a conservative city or a potentially hostile crowd, it's probably not a good idea. Fortunately I live in a gay-friendly city and most people could care less.

    Ah yes. Practice helps a lot. One of my boyfriends doesn't care at all who sees us, which is kinda cool. When I'm with him, I start thinking the same way. If he's not worried, why should I be? And it is so much fun :icon_bigg .
     
  10. Bond231

    Regular Member

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    I'd feel uncomfortable, but tbh I did when I had a girlfriend, I hate public affection and also keep my personal life more or less to myself, so I would still feel a lil weird, but I have never had a boyfriend so I wouldn't know what I would feel like, I wouldn't mind if people I don't know knew I was gay, I mean everyone knows but I just would still feel a bit weird.

    I remeber when I was a kid seeing two guys kissing was weird and I just wouldn't want people to feel weird or grossed out by me!
     
  11. ppreston9

    ppreston9 Guest

    hey, i know exactly what u mean.
    i would have sex with a guy anyday of the week.
    but i would also have sex with a women.

    but i think i would only have a relationship with a women.
    i think its bcuz i want to be able to get married and to have children who are actually mine