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Straight crushes...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Silvermark, Dec 10, 2009.

  1. Silvermark

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    I suppose the source of anguish for at least a few of us here...

    At sometime everyone has had some sort of fancy for someone who's straight... And who will most likely not change, no matter how much you want them to.

    Now my question is; how do I get over this?
    Ignore the guy completely for ever?

    For example... Today at college, saw the guy I have the crush on with his girlfriend... The two of them making out.
    It took all of my willpower and common sense to stop myself from picking up a nearby chair and braining the girl with it.

    I don't like being jealous. I don't WANT to be jealous... But I can't help burning up inside whenever I see the pair of them.
    Is just cutting all ties to him the best idea?
    Or should I at least try to tell him how I feel before I do so...

    Being a hormonal teen is so much fun...
     
  2. Jjboy

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    No way, if you guys are friends or good friends, don't ignore him at all! Even though he is straight, yeah it sucks, and it happened to me too less than a week ago and he knows I like him but we are still great friends! Does he know you like him though?
     
  3. Pepsi

    Pepsi Guest

    No to the brain bashing and the cutting all ties with him. At the same time though it is my advice that maybe telling him how you feel might also be unwise. If you are friends which I'm just going to assume you are then it could just make things awkward between you. Besides he has a girlfriend so its a no no anyway even if that girl was a boy I'd still be telling you the same thing. Telling him is not a good idea. You can't just get rid of your feelings though. What I like to do when I have a crush on a straight guy (ie all the crushes I've ever had save for one) is look for ever little flaw the person has and focus mainly on the flaws. Everyone has flaws. Maybe look for a girl (if you're bi I didn't check) or a gay guy to like instead. Or an activity or group is always a nice way to get your mind off someone. Hope I could help
     
  4. Silvermark

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    He doesn't know that... That's why I'm tempted to just cut the ties before any extra collateral...
    Problem being is the fact that I don't think I could get over him easily. Staying friends isn't going to be easy if I like him so bad that I'd hospitalise his girlfriend through jealousy...

    I'm just weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of either letting him know why I can't see him any more, or just leaving him in the dark.
     
  5. Jjboy

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    But if you just completely ignore him and he comes up to you to talk and you just shoo him away, he is going to think he did something wrong or you don't want to be around him. Heres what you probably should do: Let him know you are bisexual, but don't tell him you like him. See how he takes it first
     
  6. x2x2x2x2y2

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    its definently hard sometimes. if you got it that bad maybe keep a bit of space between you two. i dont suggest just completely cutting him off, but just not see each other so much. And remember the girlfriend didnt do anything to you, shes just like you in the sense that she likes him. Only thing is she won him and you gotta accept that for what it is and try to move on. Dont let it control you, which it seems like its not. =)
     
  7. starbucksshoote

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    Heh heh - the untimely disposing of the girlfriend option is not the right course - although I admit it did occur to me once or twice - On top of it being wrong (fullstop), it wouldn't make the straight guy become gay and start dating you.

    Getting past a straight guy (especially a nice straight guy) is a long, agonizing struggle (or at least it was, and still is, for me). Short answer? It sucks.

    Distance does help - mine moved to another city so I don't see him that often. It is possible to stay friends, but it requires a tremendous amount of effort on your part to achieve. It will seem all the more frustrating to you because the other guy won't be struggling at all - if you see him on a regular basis and you haven't let him know how you feel, he'll be perplexed by why you seem to be an emotional basketcase sometimes.

    Having a broad network of friends also helps - people who you can share your feelings with, and who will commiserate with you over how much this situation sucks.

    And while this isn't likely the healthiest approach - so I'm not recommending it - I occasionally get a smile out of myself when I pull the odd slightly douchey move against my straight friend's girlfriend. For example, my friend and I get each other Christmas presents, but I know his girlfriend isn't planning on getting me one. I'm getting her a present, but she'll only get it just before I leave town, so she'll be unable to reciprocate. ... Yes, I know it isn't the most mature thing in the world, but gosh, sometimes you just have to do something a little wicked.

    Anyways, best of luck - if he is important to you, I think it's at least worth trying to be friends.