Does anyone notice that people who know that a person is gay before knowing them, makes that person into just being a "gay". There's this guy at work, and he said that some guys were cute within a group of us (I don't know if he's gay but I didn't respond to it). Then a couple weeks later a girl co-worker was looking for her headset thing. Then she's joking thinking that someone took it and she think that he took it because it's pink remembering what he said back then. Also a couple of guys came into our workplace, and I notice that one had a weird voice like it crack (but I didn't pick up that he's gay). And she was like "They're gay", and I responded, "I didn't tell". But I guess it's kind of annoying that being gay is what your whole identity is.
I've noticed that, with younger people, as in people in their 30's and 40's and younger, being gay is a part of who we are. I think most people who say things like this say it because they don't really get to know us to know that this is just a part of who we are, and the implicit assumption is that this is the overarching part of our personality. A sad statement, but I think a true one, at least based on my own experience.
From my experience, it's more of how much it shows in their character. For example, one of my best friends is gay and extremely camp... It's rather hard not to think of him as gay even when he tries not to be camp.
This is one of the reasons I'm not out yet. I'm so much more than my sexuality. But there is a stigma with being gay and it consuming your identity because that is the only thing other people will have on their mind when they are around you. Of course there are the gay guys who make it their goal to flaunt their gayness down your throats.... Which IS annoying. I don't want to be reduced to just one description. I don't want to be simplified and objectified like that. And I live in Kentucky, so I know I will be. I'll have a number of friends and family who will support me....but it won't be much.
I'm not sure what you're trying to say... I often find it very easy to tell that a person is gay before i speak to them. But that doesn't make me judge their character in advance.
Well i think a lot of people judge people and automatically say "ok, well theyre gay." and thats it. People can be very judgemental and label a person on what they first see in them. Its hard not to. We're only human. But i think as long as it doesnt affect a persons actions towards the person, its somewhat ok. just my two cents.
No more than being Asian makes you an Asian, or being a bowling fan makes you a bowling fan. People will make mild jokes about one's likes, dislikes, and situations. My co-workers and I do it all the time. The joke about stealing headphones because they're pink is pretty low on the humor scale, but I'd say it's pretty low on the offensiveness scale, as well. Lex
I'm in the process of coming out, i'm really not that stereotypical gay and you cant tell just by looking at me... most of my friends at school have no idea. but when I told some of my friends they started acting like i was the "fabulous" type of gay.
The people around where I live all seem to think that unless you are the "floating around, have an eye for fashion, talking with a lisp" kind of gay guy then you aren't really gay. It's terrible. Also how do all of you know that someone is gay just by looking at them? I am never able to tell at all which is why I have never dated before. I'm always worried I'll approach a guy assuming he's gay and he'll be straight and be weirded out or get violent.
I actually haven't noticed this. Usually the fact that people are gay is a secondary thing that is only brought up when talking about relationships or the like.
Well from my own experience, coming out made me feel like I had to be "uber gay" and almost pick a camp (ie: butch, androgynous, or almost a metrosexual femalequeer type). I don't know if everyone feels this way, but I did almost as a way of saying "hey, I'm gay." I cut my hair to help liberate myself which was nice.. I think on some level this had to do with the fact that I didn't want to be hit on by guys and yet I wanted the ladies to know and to approach me if they wanted as well. Of course it can attract negative attention because of the haters, religious extremists and idiots who like to shout derogatory things out of vehicles that pass by... *shrug* Just be you though. If you want to add rainbows to things you wear then go for it though.
Perfect example : There's somebody in my year in school know as ''Gay Sam''. If you mention a Sam ( seeing as there are about ), He will always be referred to as ''Gay Sam''. What really Pi$$es me off about this, is that he kissed one guy about a year and a half ago at a party. So doing that has made him '' Gay Sam '' :tantrum:
To me, that would be the stereotyped reaction... the sort of reaction you would see in the movies, but... That hasn't been the case at all with me. Everyone I know has been perfectly ok, if not fascinated, by my coming out. I'm very straight-acting and into fitness (not so much sport) and I'm really friendly, so I don't think it's easily determinable that I'm gay. So when I tell people who've known me for some time already, then I'm still Cam, but just gay. When I tell people who I haven't known for a long time, they just seem fascinated and ask me questions and want to know me better... lol I guess I've been lucky so far!
yeah true, its like your a freak :/ "Oh we have a gay friend" "you see that guy? he is gay" "i have a gay friend" what else to add?
Actually, in my area, it is a secondary trait. If you didn't know someone was gay, you generally find out when: 1) Someone makes a lewd joke about that person (in that manner that friends often do; this happens ALOT at our RPG nights, with insults all around) 2) Someone makes a reference to that person's bf/gf 3) They tell you/make a gay comment ("such-and-such was SO HOT in that movie...") No one in my group of friends cares, and our area is just awesome. Actually, I was talking the other day with an old friend and when she told her mom I was gay, the reaction was basically "Oh, thank god! I've known for years, I'm glad he figured it out too!" Unless it is pertinent to the conversation, I will leave out that detail too.
I know what you mean. I had a friend who walked through campus "parading it out" like I was some walking float in a pride parade... "She's just not into guys. Nope. Not even you, you sexy man." -male friend infront of people in the cafeteria Ugh... like can't we be known to people for our personality first rather than who we're attracted to just like everyone else?
It's a point of interest. People latch onto things like that. I had a friend join me at a relative's house for Thanksgiving. For reasons too random to get into, he ended up making the sweet potatoes, which everybody loved. Since then, whenever I see that relative, she refers to my friend as "that guy who makes those amazing sweet potatoes". Like that's all he ever does. He MAY have cooked them ten times in his life. Lex
