Okay my mom knows I am gay, but she hasn't say it yet, she's just been talking about gay thing for the past few weeks heavily. Every day she mentions gay, and in reference to me. But that's beside the point, I am thinking of telling her my life goals which is the biggest secret even bigger than being gay (I won't reveal them here). Hypothetically speaking, if I tell her my goals/being gay/ and all about me, I am kind of worried she will think I am crazy and I will feel very vulnerable like I am giving out my soul out to the world. I am not sure if I am ready for it, but I want too. If it goes good, then it will bring us closer than ever (which I am not ready for). And if it goes badly, then I better just lock myself in my room and ignore her forever. She won't kick me out because of it, but it will totally damage the relationship forever. It's the secret of secrets to me, it's who I am (my life plans). What should I do? If I don't tell then I will just be in the closet, and living a secret life with lies all over the place. And it will become a mess, and I hate that, I just want it to be simple so I can do what I want without her worrying about me.
Hi there! From what you have mentioned, it sounds like that your mum would be supportive. It seems that she knows that you are gay, and has perhaps accepted it and waits for you to talk to her. If you feel ready and think that it will bring you closer, I think it would be okay to come out to her or confirm what she is suspecting. In some ways, telling her your life goals goes hand in hand with coming out. Both are an integral part of what makes you as a person. Coming out is about being yourself. Your life goals are about you and what you want to achieve in your life. If you think that it might be best to talk about your life goals one at a time with her, you could do that as well. You don't have to tell her everything all at once. Maybe try to think about one of the life goals you want to talk her about first, and start building your conversation on that. Also, maybe try to place your goals in a logical order. Giving your mum time to adjust and reassuring her that you have thought about your goals, and will continue to do so, will help her as well. Telling her things about yourself, and talking to her openly about things will show her that you want a closer relationship with her. But as mentioned, maybe try not to say everything all at once in a conversation but rather have a couple of conversations with her, which will give her time to adjust. I hope this helps a bit!
