Can someone help me out- question about whether someone is gay

You can't really tell someone 'what' they are or orientation they have. They have to figure it out themselves. My guess though from reading what you wrote is that she falls somewhere from 3-6 on the Kinsey spectrum of sexuality. 1 being straight, 3 being evenly bisexual and 6 being totally gay.

From what you've said it sounds like she's denying it to herself, but then again you can never tell how someone is feeling because you aren't them. You can tell them that you're there to support them and be there for them though.

Some people have to work through their sexuality issues and it takes longer for them because they think, "I can't possibly be gay," and they may cling to 'bi' because it means they have a hold in the 'hetero world'. But then again, not all bi people are that way. Some bisexual people are truely bisexual. So... it brings me back to the point to be there to support her, but don't try to "tell her" what she is. Only she can do that herself.

 

If she says she's bisexual, then you have to believe her. The only sexuality a person can be completely sure about is their own. So EVEN if she was just confused at the moment, you really shouldn't think she is unless she tells you this herself. You just have to take her word for it, and not worry. If she's a good person, she wouldn't leave you for a woman, because that's just cheating, regardless of the sex you're being cheated on with. Has nothing to do with bisexuality. I'm sure she is a good person though.

As much as there is a possibility for her to be either straight or gay, you have to listen to her when she says she is bisexual.

And it is perfectly fine and understandable that you're asking this here, and even more fine that you're straight. You're confused about the situation, and that is understandable. It is also a hell of a lot better than just freaking out at the fact she has been with women, or seeing it as a way to satisfy a person's perverted objectification of women (Like how many assholes will want 2 girls to kiss so they can get off on it, getting them drunk to do so). So yeah, you're definitely welcome here Welcome to EC

 

Hi and welcome on EC

First thing you're not the only straight person on EC and that's perfectly fine for you to be here and ask whatever you want. I can understand your situation can be confusing and raises for you a lot of questions, especially if you are developping feelings for that woman.
Now, considering she had told you she is bisexual, there is no reasons for you not to believe her. Apparently she trusts you a lot, otherwise she won't have tell you so many private things about her. And considering she already have been in a relationship with a woman, and seems to be quite comfortable with her sexuality. So if she was exclusively attracted to women, she would have probably figured that already.
I can understand the idea that the woman you love can be attracted both to men and women can be sort of scary, but I think that these fears can be overcome.
If you have feelings for her and if she returns you those feelings, the best thing you can do is to discuss the kind of relationship you want to have with her. She is not more likely going to cheat on you than any other straight woman. The fact she is attracted to both genders doesn't make her less able to enter a commited relationship than anyone else.
I hope this helps you a little. And don't hesitate to stay around and ask anything you might want to ask.
Take care, Eleanor

 

^ exactly this. Just because shes bi doesnt mean she is a lesbian. I say believe her, i mean its her own sexuality. Oh and dont feel bad for posting here just cause you are straight!!

 

That's the answer.

 

chances are if she's saying she's bi, and she enjoys sex with men, then she is bi.