Ok. Two of my best friends started dating recently. (Guy & a Girl) So, before I introduced them they barely spoke to each other. I used to feel like, important to them I guess is what it is. If they wanted to hang out I was one of the first people they called. And now that they're dating I'm like way on the back burner. You know? I don't like the sudden change because it's all happened over a couple of weeks and they mean SO much to me. I guess what really is bothering me is that they were hanging out and were bringing another girl that I'm friends with and they like didn't even invite me. I still went (because I invited myself which I don't do often and honestly don't like doing) and we had a great time but I just don't understand why they wouldn't include me right off the bat you know? *sigh* I mean I guess it would be easier to deal with if it wasn't such a sudden thing but I've known the guy for years and the girl for about a year and they're like family to me. It kind of feels like I always end up on the back burner at some point in relationships with people. But that's stuff for a therapist to sort out. Lol. So yeah, am I being selfish for being upset that I'm not AS important to them anymore? It's not like they have completely forgotten me or anything. Things just aren't like they were. : \
(*hug*) I'm in the same boat with you at the moment. All of my friends are coupled... *le sigh* They invite me out to do stuff and all, but one of my friends just got a boyfriend so they've been dating almost a month and... they have PDA like CRAZY. Always gropping, kissing, hugging etc. I don't mind hand holding, the occasional kiss and hug etc, but gropping in public like "down there' in public restaurants?? Ugh. Je suis la trois (wheel) [I can't remember how to say wheel in french..]
Bummer! Well they don't do that. At least not yet. I'll probably say something. But I hope things go better for you! : ) Any advice?
this is what happens when friends put the hoes before bros. even though she is your friend to the rule still applies. to be honest i put all my friendships before relationships. as i would expect the person im with to do the same. but ive heard that i am odd in that view. talk to them is the best thing you can do. think about what you are going to say first that way it doesnt come out all complainy and bitchy. trust me. i know from experience that the friend may take it badly if not thought out.
Despite the "bros before hos" saying, that isn't how it works. When you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend, that tends to become your focus. Not because you lose interest in your friendships or anything, but because the new relationship tends to be a deeper and quicker bond. And it's to be assumed that for anybody in a relationship, that will be their primary focus. Wish your two friends well (and pat yourself on the back for correctly guessing they'd hit it off so well), catch up with them when they have time, and focus on getting yourself some new friends. And perhaps a relationship of your own. Lex
Thanks Lex! Great advice. I would try a relationship of my own but those are always train wrecks. Lol! And I'm not really interested in anybody. I'll just focus on school, trying to get a job, and family.
ooooh, yeah, i know that feeling. my best friend is dating this guy who had wooed her for two years before they actually sealed it, and when she was having a convo with me, he would butt in and lock me out. She would actually address sentences to me, trying to let me back in, and he would kick me back out. ooooh, it ticked me off. And then, she invited me to see a movie (i can't even remember what it was) and it was just going to be us. And then she invited him, cause he had a car and could take us there. I ended up throwing a roll at his face when he interrupted me for the fourth time. I talked to my firend about it, and we decided that for her bf's own safety, my dates with her and his were COMPLETELY SEPERATE. I think you should mention how you feel to them. I agree with lex entirely. dates come and go, but friendship is always there and much more valuable.
