I was wondering if everyone could help me. I've written a letter to give to my parents as my way of coming out. I was wondering if you would all be able to read it and tell me what you think about it, and if there is anything there is you wished you had said or hadn't said when you told your parents if you could include that as well. I thankyou now for all the help that I hope you will be able to give me. My parents are divorced so there will be a letter for each of them. Well here is the letter. Dear Mum/Dad I know the fact that I am writing you this letter may seem strange, but I think that its the only way that I can tell you without backing out. I'm sorry that I can't tellyou this in person, even just writing this letter is really hard for me. Please know that no matter how you feel after reading this letter that I love you and that I am the same person I have always been, I am still me. I need you to understand that what I'm going to tell you isn't a choice that I have made it is just who I am. It has taken me a long time to realise who I am and it is something that I am still trying to fully accept within myself. It is however something that I am sure about. I am gay. I am truly sorry that I didn't tell you sooner but I just couldn't. I knew that you would probably be fine with it, even if it does take time, but part of me was scared that you wouldn't be able to accept it and that you would hate me for who I truly am. Again I am sorry for not telling you in person but I don't have the confidence to do so, but it is something that I am working on. I don't know if you are surprised by this news or if you knew already or suspected. It is soemthing that I have tried to hide for a long time, I don't know if I was that successful at it. I am tried of hiding who I truly am and I want to be able to be myself and be open and honest about it. I think deep down it is something I have always known but I didn't realise what it truly meant until I was about 15, and it has been a long journey since then to get to the point where I am now, writing you this letter. When you get this letter I won't be at home, mum/dad has a letter just like this but I think we all need some space, for you and mum/dad just some time to read and understand this letter and for me because giving you these letters is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Remember that I love you. Adam.
WOW. that was from the heart, I think it'll work, it worked on me have you given them it yet or are you waiting for feedback?
I haven't given it to them yet, I'm still not ready to give it to them. It's just knowing that I have the letter, means that once I am ready I can do it, without stressing over it anymore. I appreciate your feedback, that you think it is a goosd letter makes me feel better about it.
that's great, if you don't feel ready don't feel bad. I'm terrified of telling my parents lol whatever happens I wish you GOOD LUCK
I honestly don't think there is anything you need to change to that. And I don't think that we should be telling you what to write to your parents. Whatever you decide to do it has to come from you, not us. But your letter is heartfelt and very personal, I think its wonderful.
I appreciate everyones comments, thankyou. I understand that it needs to be my own letter, I think what I want to know more is whether there is something in there similar to what you all told your parents, that you wish you hadn't or something that I haven't put in that you think is important enough that I should include it, but have overlooked it.
I think that you've included all the important points, that this is not a choice, that it doesn't change who you are, that you love them no matter what. I haven't told my parents yet, but the one thing I would want them to know is how much I want and need them in my life.
I think it's a great letter. I will offer one suggestion but of course only if you are comfortable with it. The last paragraph talks about giving "space", but then the letter just ends there. Do you want to be open to communication, questions from your parents, getting feedback, or whatever? If so, maybe offer that in the end. Good luck!
Hi there! Great Letter! I would have a similar suggestion as olides84 has made. If you want, it would be good to indicate that you are open to talking about it and answering any questions that they might have. Maybe include a book title, such as "Now That you Know" (which is a pretty good book for parents and introduces them to what it means to be LGBT). You could also provide them with a few links to internet sites, such as PFLAG, or a phone number for the nearest chapter. I hope all goes well.
Great letter! I personally had a mother who was really bad when it came to giving a letter, but I hope yours works better by using a letter...
I think it is really great that you have really thought about what you need to do to be comfortable telling your parents about this and that you are worried about your emotional safety and your ability to do this, so you're doing it how it is best for you. The letter seems like you really thought it out and it is very heartfelt. I don't think anyone could question if you are really sure after reading that letter, it's pretty clear you have really thought out breaking the news to them and thought about what it could mean. I would second the suggestion, though, to let them know if you are open to talking about this and answering any questions they might have. Either way, I would also second the suggestion to offer them some resources to turn to if they need to talk to someone or get some information about this to help them deal with the news you are breaking to them.
Thats a good short and to the point letter. I wrote my parents a letter as well that I STILL havent given them. i'm hoping i'll have the courage as soon as I leave my house and go back to my apartment at school. Mine, however, is a freaking essay compaired to this lol, i literally wrote everything i could think of that they might ask me. I sometimes feel like i'm just not ready to tell them yet either, but I know that I have to do it eventually, and I found that after writing the letter, i frequently get annoyed when my dad talks about me brigning girls home and having kids.... (like when have I ever brought a girl home who wasnt a best friend from like 7th grade? lol)
Thanks everyone so far for your help, I like the suggestion about wanting to talk to them about it. I still live with my dad and I still see my mum all the time, my plan was just to go away for the night when I give them the letter, and I would be home the next day. I was going to do that because I think at some point I would back out at home and try and get the letters back, it would be almost like telling them face to face which there is no way that I can do that. I think that I will also try to include some information that will hopefully help them absorb the information. Thanks again everyone.
