So my friend from school, his girlfriend, and I went to a party for the end of break and got fairly drunk, then went back to my apartment and smoked, just to relax a little bit. But my memory isnt entirely there and for some reason he added one of his friends from home as my friend on facebook, i dont remember why. But the his friend that he added is gay, so i'm wondering if I had told him that I was gay and I didnt remember... Anyways, we're going to the movies later this week and he just told me he invited his friend, but since I wasnt planning on coming out to him yet, it's kindof weird especially cause I dont remeber coming out to him. SO I have no idea how to act. Because if I am actually genuinely interested in his friend? Sorry This is really just me freaking out... but what do you guys think? should I jsut go with it and hope that I had already come out to him?
Hi there! I'm a bit confused. Does your friend have access to your FB account? Just relax though. Take a deep breath! I don't think it matters all that much if you are out or not. Just be yourself around your friends and try to enjoy the movie. Maybe just act as if he already knows. Yes, it can be nerve wracking, because you are unsure as to whether he knows, but at the same time, given that he is gay himself, he would understand why you are nervous and would most likely keep it to himself if you asked him to. And do I get this right that you are interested in his gay friend? If so, maybe that would be one more reason just to be yourself and maybe just go with the flow.
Well no i'v never met this gay kid. my straight friend and his girlfriend are coming and he's coming with them... The straight friend was at my apartment and we were on my computer and he added him...
Oh okay! Well if your friend added the gay person to your FB friends list, it could very well be that you have already come out to him. If not, I think it could also be a hint. I don't think it changes all that much though. Just be yourself. If your straight friend is coming with him, you have two (three) accepting people around you that are accepting. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes, the best coming outs are the ones where you are yourself and just let the evening progress and act as if people already know.
I thought of another alternative. For the sake of names, I'm calling your straight friend with a girlfriend "Straight" and his gay friend "Gay". What you could do is ask Gay if Straight told him you were gay, and if Gay says that he didn't, you could ask Gay not to tell Straight, because you want to come out on your own. Gay should be able to understand, if he's gay and nice. If he's not that nice, you don't have to ask him. Did that make sense??
I think in one of your other threads, I discussed coming out, and why it was desirable. Your new thread here points out another advantage. Say you were already out to everybody. And exactly the same thing happened. What would you be thinking now? Probably "Hey, cool, a new friend. And he's gay, too." And you might send him a "great to meet you last night - wish I could remember the whole night, though!" message. And that's it. No worried "what happened last night", no "who knows what". What should you do? Treat the "I'm gay" information like another unimportant piece of information in your life. Like that you were born in Chicago or whatever. Either they know it or they don't, and if they do, it won't change anything. Because it won't. Oh, and work on not drinking/smoking/whatevering so that you have to try to figure out what happened the night before ever again. Lex
Though I like Lex's response, Everyone doesnt have the story straight. The STRAIGHT guy was the one i was drinking with, I dont know the gay guy at all. I'm going to meet him. But we're friends on facebook already. And Lex, i'm a college student, I'd rather do this kind of stuff while it's still socially acceptable than regret it and fuck up later =P. But I dont do it THAT often, so dont you worry =P
I meant that you could ask the gay guy when you meet him, after gauging how genuine he is and whether you think he wouldn't tell your straight friend.
At any age, waking up not remembering what happened isn't good. No matter what your peers might think. Lex
Hey guess what guys. I was right! I hadn't come out to him but he had guessed that I was gay. Bringing his friend to the movies was TOTALLY him trying to set me up with the guy =P. My straight friend was driving me home and it was just me and him and he said "I hope you dont find this offensive but can i ask you a question?" So I said yeah and he asked if i was gay. I DID NOT LIE. because i'm cool like that =D. So then he told me that he was hoping i'd like his friend because we have a lot in common. I just said well I guess we'll see. Though at the movies the guy was leaning awful close to me while still keeping it PG. He was cool and we do have a lot in common, so I would deffinately be willing to hang out again. But the most important part of this, I CAME OUT TO SOMEONE I GO TO SCHOOL WITH! Ah! Finally someone I go to school with knows, i'm so psyched right now.
Well, I could be put on my nitpicking hat and say you didn't actually do the coming out, but let's not split hairs. It's now known, and if it's known to one, it's probably known to others. And, as you've noticed, it's no big deal. Lex
