I haven't been on for a very long time. but I have a dilemma and I need to know something. So for the past year I've been crazy for one of my best friends. (well I had an on and off crush on him all of high school...but the most for the past year) He knows, I told him. He told me it wouldn't affect our friendship, because we were so close and have been friends for so long and I told him that I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship, cuz his friendship meant alot to me. I tried to get over him...because I REALLY like him alot, and I kinda knew it wasn't going to happen, but it was really hard, since we saw each other and talked like everyday. Plus, whenever we hung out one on one he'd always call it a "date," he'd cuddle with me once in a while, held my hand, blew me kisses, etc. It confused me sooo much! Even though he confused me, i'd still talk to him about everything. I told one of our closest friends (a girl) how much I liked him. She knew everything. But a few months later, SHE started dating him. I tried to act like it didn't bug me, but eventually we got into a huge fight and we both did and said some stupid things. And they BOTH stopped talking to me. He started talking to me again for a little while, and things were starting to go back to the way things were between me and him. We went to a dinner where they both were. She saw that we were back to the way we used to be, and the next day he starts an argument with me because She told him I was talking about her. (even though I know for a fact she was talking about me badly) and ever since we haven't talked to eachother. We see eachother in the halls or parties or anywhere and we act like we don't know eachother. For secret santa with my group of friends, I got him. [my luck] I got him exactly what he asked for when we were friends. He gave me a hug and he tried talking to me again, but I kinda blew him off. It's been months since we've talked. I don't know how I feel...I hate him for not being friends with me because of her, and refusing to listen to anything I have to say...but I still miss him and the way we used to be. It sucks to see him places, and we just don't acknowledge each other, and when I hear about what him and my other friends did, but I wasn't invited because of him and/or her. What do you guys think about the situation? sorry for the horrible grammar/spelling...i just needed to vent.
I'm not sure if you're really looking for any advice, but it sounds like both of you made some pretty big mistakes. It wasn't appropriate for him to act like he was flirting with you if he knew how you felt about him, but it sounds like you haven't been particularly helpful since then either. If you want to, you could write him an email or talk to him one on one and just explain everything honestly. While it might not help, at this point it doesn't seem like you have very much to lose. However, if you are not able to exercise enough control when it comes to how you feel about him, you may just be better off taking a break from him until you get over him.
that is so horrible. i've gone through a similar situation recently, and i know how much it sucks. it depends on what you and he want. you both have to decide, out loud, to each other that you want to get over the things that have happened, move on and such, and then you might be able to patch things up. but i know that after so much drama you can't just "go back to how things were". But you CAN have something new, like a phoenix from the ashes. If you want to rekindle the friendship, you have to make the first step, send a real-life friend request. He'll accept or reject it. and it sounds like that one girl needs to get over herself. from what you've said, it seems like she has a major case of wanting something only when she's learned someone else wants it too, and then being nasty about it. People like that always cause trouble. i hope better days come your way
Thanks guys I apologized to her one day, because my friend suggested it would help things out...but it didn't. And then when me and him did argue, i sent him a long text message apologizing, defending myself, and pretty much telling him how much his friendship meant to me, and he never replied; but it turned out it never sent, i found it in my drafts folder a month later. :/ I'm pretty sure he knows about it, because I told one of our mutual friends, but i don't know. I know things aren't going to be like the way they used to be, and I'm fine with that. Our friends did set us up to talk. I knew about it, and I went willingly to talk to him about stuff, but when he came we ended up arguing and I just got up an walked away. and Shady YES! haha, she is totally like that. I remember when she first started dating him she told one of my friends that "she feels good because she's dating a guy so many other people want" and stuff. and when we were friends she would rub it in face.
You know it's funny because I was just looking at a thread asking if technology was ruining our lives and I really wanted to reply, "No way... technology just gives us different ways of doing things, whether that be screwing things up or making things right..." but then I read this post. First of all, ignoring the fact that your "long text message" didn't send, no text message in the world is going to be long enough to properly apologise, defend yourself, and tell someone how much their friendship means to you. It's doubtful a full-on email would suffice for that--there are some things you need to say in person... or at least on the phone. Tech is great but you aren't going to repair a friendship by sending a "real-life" friend request. (As opposed to a virtual one? I'm confused.) If you are serious about fixing things between you and this guy, you are going to need to actually, live in-person TALK to him. Also, however much you may have been justified in acting as you did, if you try to fix things with people by elaborating on defending yourself, it's just not going to work. I'm not saying what you did wasn't defensible--I'm just pointing out that if you're trying to make things better, you're not going to get anywhere by putting him on the defensive by attempting to explain why your actions were justified. If you want the friendship back, you need to focus on the positive and let go of the negative--or at the very least, not muddle the two together before you've gone a long way in repairing the relationship. And even then, it's better to leave the past in the past. Really the only time it would be appropriate to bring up your past troubles would be if they started repeating again. If the friendship is important to you, then you need to find some way to let go of your hurt and attempt to repair it without dredging everything up.
Alright I tell this to ANYONE... Bros before hoes, or whatever their preference is lol. Dude the chances of their relationship lasting and goin all the way in life is slim to none. At your age its common knowledge. If I were you I would send him a msg or something and just explain youll be by him for life and youll be around long after she is gone. Fox
