I think it's time I should come out, last week my mother was like, "You're gay, tell me. I don't care if you are". She was yelling angrily at me, and was kind of drunk. I told her I wasn't, and she didn't believe me. But she's been asking me and saying I was for about half a year. I just haven't come out to her yet. I think I should now, because I need to start living my life more open. But I am just afraid that she'll reject me completely, since the only time she ask me if I was gay is when she is angry like it's the end of the world. She still doesn't really know that I am gay, since she thinks I like Asian women as well. I told her once that I did to hide that I was gay with something as almost equally bad, but okay. But I do find Asian women pretty. So she might just think I am bi. And I choose this date because it would be three years since my first and last girlfriend, I asked her out on this day. And the symbolism blah. But I did like her a lot, we just didn't do anything.
You say she's saying this when she's angry at the world--sorta like 'things suck, and to top it off, my son's probably gay too!' ?? Hmm, I doubt she'll reject you, but she probably sees it as a big negative. So I think it's important that when you do come out to her, you communicate that 1) you are confident of your sexuality, and 2) with this confidence and self-acceptance, you can have just as amazing of a future you could have if you were straight.
Yeah pretty much that kind of attitude. That's probably the only thing I can do it. But I think her reaction is going to either be negative and then be alright, or all sad and loving acceptance. Which isn't that bad... but she views homosexuality as a bittersweet thing overall like "it's okay but it sucks". She doesn't want my sister to be a lesbian at all, since she isn't girly most of the time, and tried to compare her to Cher's daughter. But I know she isn't gay, or at least I think she's straight. But she's only 11. I told her she can be whoever she wants to be as long as she's happy. She wasn't into barbies, dresses, or make up. And she wanted to cut her hair short, and she did, but it was down to a few inches above shoulders, before it was down to her waist. Then she's still into Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and the Jonas Brothers so she's kind of hard to read. At this dinner party she was trying to compare me to this flamer "cousin", and I was like "no", I kind of tried to avoid him since he was so flaming. I guess that's more of my issue coming out, since I don't have much confidence in it yet. It's just the way it is.
Well, sounds like she already knows, or strongly suspects at the least. So all that's left is confirm her suspicions. Even if she suspects, having it confirmed from your mouth might be a bit of a shock, though. I don't think a lot of parents ever actively want their children to be gay, but most of them do come around eventually. It just takes some time for them to change their expectations of what your life will be like. Coming out can help a lot in putting stereotypical thinking to rest. When she sees that you're out, and yet you didn't change at all, it will become a lot more easy to accept that you're just the same as you always were, except that she now knows for a fact you like guys. Comparisons to your flamer cousin might not be fun at first, but it's probably the only frame of reference she has. Being out might help in having an open discussion about how you're different from him. (and with that I'm really not trying to imply that being flaming is a bad thing. I'm rather in awe of some people who dare to be flaming because that's how they are, despite how it's often not socially accepted) If you tell her, it's probably best not to tell her when she's angry and using it as something to fling at your head. Coming out to make a point in a fight is a really bad idea. So try to do it when things are quiet, and she's more at ease. Symbolism is all good and well, but it might be wasted on your mother. The important thing is that the moment you tell her is right.
I think part of the reason your mother is so frustrated is she doesn't know 100% for certain if you're gay. She just wants to know, so she wants you to flat-out say it to confirm things in a way that's unambiguous to her. And I agree with Filip: the symbolism will probably be lost on her, and it's best to do it when both of you are comfortable and at ease. It's very bad to come out during an argument or out of spite, though if you can do it on good terms on the 6th like you want, I say go for it, dude.
She's never at ease lol, always depress and angry at the world. So it doesn't matter when I come out, except when she's being more obvious. I am not doing the symbolism for her though, but I do that for myself in a lot of events in my life. When I first dated that girl I wanted her to remember me because she's Catholic (like I am) so we both know that was the Epiphany day; God in human form and the Magi. Also it means to realize the larger essence of something. But that's not the important thing though. I think she's 75% suspects I am gay, or bi. So she had to gone through some stages of it already.
