I'm going to make this blunt, because the more I think about it, the more anxious I get. I wanted to tell my uncle I'm gay on Christmas, since that's the only time I had to see him. Obviously, I didn't. Oops. I just didn't feel like there was a good time (plus, I got there late, so I didn't see him for as long as I would've liked.) I'm not out to anyone in my family. I'm not TOO close with my Uncle, but I see that as a good thing because if he hates me for it, whatever. But, I also feel like he's more open than most of my family, like my mom. But, again, I'm not close to him like I am with my mom, so I think he's a good place to start. Something about facebook came up on christmas, so I'm thinking I'll friend him on facebook. My facebook... is really gay. It's obvious if you read anything on my profile. Plus, I look stereotypically like a lesbian. My uncle's a smart guy. If he confronts me about it, then I'm out and that makes my life easier because I don't have to initiate the conversation. Clicking the friend request button is the part I'm stuck on. I'm not friends with anyone else in my family on facebook because, like I said, it screams HOMOHOMOHOMO. I don't want them asking why I friended him, and not them. The only excuse I can use is "I don't see him everyday, and I realied I missed him on Christmas" or something lame like that. Should I do it? He may not even notice, but it's the only step I'm willing to take right now.
Well, if the facebook thing is gonna cause issues (as in "he's a friend but others aren't"), maybe you should try a different tactic. Do you have an e-mail address for him? Can you talk to him via e-mail? Lex
It would really be more of an awkward conversation than an actual problem, really. I'm afraid to contact him any other way. I feel like facebook freinding is more of a casual thing, and if he happens to notice the gay everywhere, that's great for me.
What about sending him a letter? Given that you are close to your uncle, and he seems to be more open, I think writing him a letter would be a good idea. By writing him, you give yourself the chance to express what you want him to know about you, and you also give him the chance of getting to know you for who you are.
In short, you don't want to "come out" to him (active). You want to "be out" (passive). Something like? Lex
Lex, exactly. I'm not so great at confronting people about anything, especially if it's about me, so I'm trying to avoid that. If he asks me? Great! I'm out, and then we can talk if he wants. If I have to bring it up? Inevitable disaster.
OK then. But upon re-reading your first post, I don't see anything in it that shows why you might like to be out to him. I understand that he'd probably be more accepting than others in your family, but "he's less likely to have a problem with it" doesn't seem like much a compelling reason. Generally, people say "I want to be out to so-n-so because I'm tired of having to lie to him about my girlfriend", or "she strikes me as someone who'd be great to talk to about my sexuality", or something along those lines. Is there any such reason you'd like to be out to him? Or would it just be nice to have someone in the family know? Lex
I should've been more specific. I'm tired of lieing to my family in general, especially my mom and brother. I figure if I tell him and he's okay, I'll have a support system in the family, and it will boost my self esteem and help push me to tell my mom. I'm afraid to go to her first, so he seems like the best place to start.
Ffffff i did it. I made myself do it quickly, like a bandaid. If he accepts, I'll update the thread. Nervous as hell.
Congrats on taking that step! What's done is done! Sending him a friend's request/adding him took a lot of courage!
-hugs- Thank you. Just hearing (reading?) someone say that makes me feel better. I'm going to sleep, and we'll see what happens!
