When did you come out?

18. I dont think i could have done it much sooner. Waiting till after high school was kind of a must (Christian high school, would have been asked to leave from its track record)

I definitly think coming out after highschool is a very good time, it worked for me for sure, but if your highschool is atleast semi-supprotive (GSA?) it could be a good idea. The sooner , generally, the better.

...and dont wait too late. Most people regret not coming out sooner, no matter the age.

 

I just did a few months ago.. (19 years old).. (have known I was gay for a LOOONG time though)

I don't want to make it sound very simple, because for some people it can get a little complicated.. First, I'd say you have to look at your living situation and stuff like that. If your parents are VERY homophobic, and there's a fear of being "thrown out", you should definitely wait 'til later. As gross as it sounds, you do need their help until you're independent (and you can pay them back later). Then look at your friends as well, it REALLY hurts when the first people you tell abandon you :icon_sad: .. Try to make sure the first person you tell will be okay with it lol..

Second, if you aren't sure of your orientation, I wouldn't go around "guessing" and telling people.. it could be good to tell some people close to you that you ARE confused or discuss what you ARE thinking, if you think they'll be okay with it, though. (my friend used to say: "coming out gay must be just as bad as later going out and saying "nvm I actually wasn't" ")

That, and any other important factors aside, I'd say the earlier you come out, the better. Once I did, I realized I was missing out on a lot of stuff, and life is just generally "easier" not having to "hide". You'll meet a lot of interesting people at LGBT events and stuff. If you're still in school, finding an LGBT group on campus is a great start (what I did).

 

Well, to the one that i first come out to in person (i did it before with like 3 people online but thats the one i treasure the most) was my best friend Andres :3 i remember it was at school (um two years ago ---> meaning when i was 15, cant believe it has been already that time...) it was very cute i guess, i was so scared of telling him and then he just kinda guessed what i was about to tell him and since then he hanst been anything but a good friend to me (well in most of the cases -_-)
and i agree with what stephen said ^^ the sooner the better, as i said before this past two years of not hiding have past very fast (even included all pain and stuff that has brought with it), my point being is that if u do it soon it would be nice (of course, you must be ready and sure and blah blah blah all that stuff) anyway good luck xD i guess

 

I came out a month shy of my 20th birthday. I really wish I'd come out earlier but in general it's probably easiest/safest to come out after high school, especially if your school is in a suburban or rural area. Not that all high schools are super-homophobic but I think overall high school is unfortunately still a tricky place to come out... and then there's the fact that most people in high school are still living with/very dependent on their parents. Some parents are fine about their kids being gay but a lot of others still take a while to adjust and I think it's pretty easy for most to assume it's something they can change/control about their children when their children still live at home.

I came out when I was still living with my mum but I was 2 years into university and also, my mum was like the coolest mum ever, overall, so I was 99% sure it was going to go fine. If I'd still been living with my dad and my mum I might not have come out to them quite as soon as I did.

 

I came out to one person when I was 17. Then I came out full a year later when, like a lot of others, I got to college. It is so much easier. I didn't really have a desire to come out in high school. I didn't really have a reason to, I guess. It just wasn't an issue with my group of friends (and still isn't, now that I'm out).

I don't really have any regrets about waiting. I feel like it was the right time. High school is just a really weird, too-close community. I think it would have freaked me out to be more out than I was in high school.

 

I was over 40. That was way late, and I wish I had done it much earlier. But, I was not ready until then to accept that I was gay.

 

The first time I came out to someone was my 20th birthday. Came out to nearly everyone else when I was 21-22.

 

You'll probably find that most people on here are coming out now! lol.
But I started coming out last year around this time. I sent a note to like 5 of my friends over facebook. Probably not the best idea ever, but personally if I dont write a note, I won't say everything I need to say. That and I came out as bi because it thought it would be easier. It was not easier and it just made more trouble for me.

 

I am 30 now and first came out to a few people in my mid-20's. I am still not out "publicly" or to my family, although I date guys and my close friends know.

Different people's situations call for different times to come out. When I was in highschool, I did not even know of, much less actually know, a single out gay person. I went to a college where there was not a single out student. I then served in Iraq and North Africa where people are routinely kidnapped and killed for being openly gay.

Now I am back in the US at a time and in a place where gays are reasonably accepted. Although I am in a business where I don't know a lot of out people. I am just now being more public about my orientation. Not because I was not comfortable with who I am... I have been very happy and comfortable with the fact that I am gay for many years, but because I was in situations where coming out was not advisable or sometimes even safe.

I must tell you though, I recommend that you be honest with yourself and those you care about earlier than me. I don't know if I would have done things differently... I love where I went to school and I love my service. It was however, not compatible with being gay. --Good Luck

 

I've only come out in the last year or so, but I think coming out when you are younger is so much better for you...you get to have that much more time to have the experiences of coming to terms with your sexuality, increasing your comfort level around other GLBT folks, and integrating that into the totality of your life. I started by coming out to a few close friends, and now there's only 1 family member who doesn't know (and that will be rectified this week when I take her out to lunch).

It's so much more free of a way to live...I wish I had a time machine to go slap the :***: out of myself ten years ago But, yes, if you can come to terms with your sexual orientation when you're younger, and you're at a place where you can safely be out, then I think that's always the best course of action, but those are decisions only you can make.

 

I was 20. April (Easter) 2009 was when I actually told my parents, sis and rest of my friends I was gay. I was fully out and the rest spread by rumours or when I made new friends this year at school.

I wasn't ready to tell anyone earlier because I hadn't had any experience with girls so I knew it was "probable" and I had to get used to myself and accept it first before then. The whole process from knowing "I wasn't straight" to coming out gay took almost three years. But it takes us all different time periods to become comfortable with it and what not.

Tell your good friends (that you can trust) first. And maybe look into contacting a PFLAG or Gay support group in your area. You need support first before telling the "big bad scary world" and possible homophobic people.

 

I came out to myself at 15, I came out to my friends at 16, and I came out to my family at 17. Apparently they already knew XD

 

I'm 16 and I just started the whole process. I don't think I'll come out to my parents any time soon, they're very confusing and I don't want to mess up while I'm financially dependent on them.

 

Close friends, then Everyone: 17&half/18
Mum: 16
Myself: 14 (pretty much a couple of months after i hit puberty )

 

17 and 2 months - out to self
17 and 3 months - out to friends
17 and 8 months - out to dad
More to come! xD

 

17: Realized I liked guys. tried to convince myself I was bi for a few years.
21: Out to myself.
21: Out to friends.
22: Out to parents.
23: Out to a few family members.

That's it for now!

 

13: Out to myself
13: Out to my friends
13: Out to my parents

That's it so far.

 

12-13: I came to the realization that I liked boys.
15: I told my best friend at the time.
17-18: I told my entire friend circle, who have been very accepting of it.

I've yet to have told my family, though. There isn't much to lose if I tell them, yet there isn't much to gain, either.