Is it what i did the correct choice?

I had to go through much the same thing. One of my former friends actually suggested that coming out was a way for me to get attention...obviously, that's not at the same level with "you're abnormal, all of you are", but much the same attitude goes on. I'm of the standpoint that you don't need to surround yourself with people who are mining every conversation for a time when they can try and convince you of the error of your ways...you have to surround yourself with people who are going to be good for you, people who are at least going to accept you without making friendship conditional on meeting their expectations for what is and is not "acceptable". I can't comment on the specifics of the conversation, obviously...but cutting toxic influences out of your life can be a good thing in the long term, IMHO.

 

Well no i don't really believe you did the wrong thing. If someone refuses to accept you for who you are then i don't think you should pretend to be someone other than who you are just to please them. If they were a very good friend though then maybe you shouldn't just throw away the friendship and instead should try to make them understand.

 

The easiest argument I can think of would be that globally, the planet is totally overpopulated/overtaxed, so if some relatively small percentage of the population is not going to have children (which is not even always the case anymore), that's far more of a good thing than a bad one. Then there's the fact that just because some people aren't going to have children (and there are probably far more straight people who are childless than gay people, just because there's so many more straight people overall than gay people) doesn't mean humanity is threatened with extinction--it's not like being gay (or childless) is catching or something!

And then there's the fact that so much of life has NOTHING to do with procreation. I mean sure, it's pretty important, but it's hardly the only thing that is.

As for whether you made the right choice by ending your friendship with this guy--I think ending a friendship is more often than not something we all have second thoughts about. It's a pretty major decision but ultimately, you should be able to be comfortable with the people you hang out with, and so it sounds like you made the best decision you could. Some people may have chosen differently but they're not you. You're really the only one who can figure out the best call in the situation you were in because it's one of the most personal decisions you can make. And you can constantly question yourself all you want but in the end, that won't get you anywhere. You have to learn what you can from what happened and then let it go.

Which I realise is incredibly more difficult to do than it is for me to say... but otherwise you could question every decision you ever make. At some point you have to trust yourself enough to believe you're making choices that are good for you, however hard they are.

 

I think this actually needs to be in the support thread, but I'm sorry your friend is acting this way. It just doesn't seem right but unfortunately, often, people have been conditioned to think in bad ways and sadly as a result....you wind up losing friends. It's unfortunate I know, but yeah.

 

If a person is doing nothing but spitting verbal venom in your face then, YES, you need to get that person out of your life.

As for that whole gay = extinction BS. Gays aren't new we've been here since the dawn of time, we just aren't as accepted as in ancient times (and yes gayness was accepted in ancient times), and the Earth population doen't seem to be getting any smaller.
Plus if everyone was Priest then I guess the mankind would become extinct too, but no one badgers priests about that now do they?

 

It's not really an issue of right or wrong; the question is do you want to try to smooth things over and get them to understand or would you rather never talk to them again?

 

Well then there's your answer. And if you ever want to talk to him again I'm sure you could try at some point in the future to make things better.

 

There are people in this world who aren't going to like you. Some of them won't like you because you are gay/bi, some for other reasons. As you get older it will get easier to put your detractors in perspective. The most important thing is that you don't waste too much energy on them one way or another. That leads to self loathing and depression. Trust me.

I think you are right to just cut him off for a while. Who knows what the future might bring. The important thing is that you don't let him decide who you are.

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." --Mark Twain (maybe?)

 

I don't think there is a right or wrong choice in this situation. I think whatever you feel is best for you is the right choice. If you feel you can deal with this, keeping him as a friend but making sure he knows you do not agree with him and don't want to discuss this again would be fine, but it is also fine to say that if he can not accept you for who you are he's not really your friend and cut him out.

 

I could imagine the situation. One of those I was closely associated with during my time in college has made some bigoted or small-minded remarks. I've seen him less in the time since I've come out, and he doesn't yet know I'm gay. Not that he'd insult me like that, but he could go on a bit.

I'd say that you could mostly cut him out. If you're 17, you're probably leaving high school soon. You can always make new friends. Many people, whether gay or not, make new friends from 18 or their early twenties. The people we hang around with in our teens are a fairly random group, chosen just because of school or neighbourhood, for a lot of people, such as myself, our best friends are people we'll meet later.

Not that there's anything wrong with keeping contact, but there's nothing wrong with breaking a friendship occasionally, hard as it is.

I don't really like this argument. It's not that I don't want children, but I wouldn't last with relationship a woman. I like the line Harvey Milk used in the film when asked about the fact that gay couples can't procreate, "It doesn't stop us from trying". I'd love if it were possible to use the DNA of a sperm to create an egg, and then fertilize it with another man's sperm.

As families worldwide become richer, and use more birth control, the rate of population growth will decrease. But as I'd love to have children, I'm not going to get excited about the contribution I'll be making to the population problem.

 

i dont know how people can say the population is getting less. i mean we have more and more young kids getting pregnant way to early.

 

Actually sounds very similar to my case then (sorry for not reading your original post fully). I worried about him more than anyone else whenever I thought of coming out, and still haven't told him, so my advice only counts for so much. In my case, it wouldn't be difficult now if it came to cutting him out, as we rarely see each other.

I'd say if you're going to keep bumping into him, say nothing to him, unless you're in the same doorway or something. In a year's time, you'll have made new friends, and you'll probably hardly notice him. Do you have many mutual friends? It could be difficult if you're going to end up at the same parties. But you could get someone else to tell him to cop the f$*! on.

 

I just mean get one of your other friends to tell him to stop acting like a jerk, that they're fine with it, and don't know why he can't just be cool about it.