Well here si the deal, im out to most of my family except my Boirhter, im 15 and he is 30. Well he usually makes comments towards me about girls and where your hot date man ur a mcclendon go get fucken laid, Etc. (srry for language). I want to come out to him but whenever he is drunk or sober he will sometimes not much but once in a while make a comment about hurting my physically if i was gay. I dont knwo if i should just come out to him in person, but i kinda just want to send him a text message saying im gay. I dont know what i should do, Please help, advice wanted.
He is an adult and he should be able to handle the situation like an adult. A 30 year old man making a threat to physcially hurt anyone is pretty much unacceptable. I say if you really want to tell him, then send him a letter or something. It sounds like he might be one of those people you cant be around when you tell them, because if it puts you in any physical danger it might not be worth it to be there when he gets the news
You mentioned you were out to some other family members. I do know brothers, and from your description it sounds to me like he is just trying to be cool and relate (i could be wrong here). But it seems that this might be one of those situations where having your mom or dad, someone who is super cool with everything, give him a heads up. Then talk to him...
I agree with what others have said. If you are out to your parents, it might be a good idea for you to talk to them, share your concerns, get their input. If nothing else, they can give you valuable insights and they might also be willing to be present when you tell him...the likelihood of his going off would be greatly lessened if they are in the room or even nearby. I agree, though, that a 30 year old threatening to physically harm a 15 year old is, if he is serious, not even in the neighborhood of acceptable. Is it possible he sees this as banter and he's not serious? Again, this is where other families members might be able to give some valued perspective.
Is there anyone else besides your parents, any other adults who could be in the room with you? Perhaps they could also talk to him about when he says he's going to hurt you if you were gay? See if you have a support network in your own family that could help you out so the whole scary factor gets taken down a notch or two.
If he's saying he'd hurt you if you were gay, he probably already has suspicions and is maybe telegraphing that he just really doesn't want you to be gay. I can't imagine (though I don't actually know him) that he would actually hurt you; on the contrary, from what little you've said about him, my guess is that if somebody tried to gay bash you, he would probably be the first one to go and beat the crap out of them. He's clearly uncomfortable with the idea of your being gay, but I don't think he'd make the comments about not being gay (nor make the comment about girlfriends) if the idea had not somehow come up in his mind. So he's probably already thought about it. My guess is that if you do text him, he'll deal. And if for some reason he does get angry, even if your 'rents aren't delighted with the fact that you're gay, they certainly aren't going to sit back and let him beat you up. My guess is you'll probalby be ok by texting him and telling him. Just maybe do it when you aren't in the same place
or make sure you have someone with you if you tell him. i cant believe that your brother would batter you tho. especially when he is soo much older than you. be careful is all i can say. dont tell him till your in a good place to tell him. maybe you should again try speak to your mother tho. i think she could be your best way.
OK, just read this post. I think you definitely need to have support around you when you talk to your brother. Are you sure your parents haven't told him already?
