Ok so at first this is gonna sound like a lot of other posts here but I just don't know how to meet other gay people. Not necessarily for relationships or anything, but just to socialize. I'll admit I am lonely, but GOD FORBID I ever find a relationship that will make me happy. I know, I've googled gay clubs in my area and all that stuff, but there are two problems. 1. I'm 17, so the whole bar scene is not really open to me (it's not my thing anyway). My community has a LOT of gay pride, but it's all the older generations that do stuff. High-schoolers like myself are just as homophobic as anywhere else. 2. I'm only out to a few very close friends. If there were a gay teen club/support group or anything, I wouldn't want to be seen going there. I'm just not ready to be fully out. So here's my question(s): Do I have to come out to everyone to meet someone (anyone)? And how can I find gay people my age? I know the answer is just explore your school chums, but of course everyone is either straight or just as terrified as I am to admit to their sexuality. That also really bugs me; without even the chance to date or really be myself I feel like I am missing out on so many opportunities! :tears: I know once I finally come out I will regret every second I didn't, but I just can't do it yet. On one hand, it could be a great thing to come out and I'll regret every second I didn't do it, or it'll be a bad thing and I'll never be able to go back. I'm a senior, and if I come out it'll either be judgment and ridicule or sympathy and congratulations until graduation...But if I don't do it, I'll always think what if? Fuck. :eusa_doh: Sometimes being gay makes me hate myself. :bang: It's always the cliched: being gay is okay as long as it's not me. awesome, just fucking awesome. Anyway I apologize for the ranting and rambling. If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them.
The problem with being under 18 is that you tend to not control your own schedule all that much. Even if you have a car, you tend to be tied down to other people's schedules and demands more than adults are. So you're not free to go seek out other gay teens, really. Since your school seems to be rather homophobic, coming out doesn't sound like such a great idea. In which case, I'd say wait. Wait until you graduate and go to college or enter the workforce. Yeah, it sucks. It seems like everybody's dating and/or exploring their sexualities while you're stuck at home with your computer. But there are a lot of people in your situation. And sometimes it's better to wait for the odds to improve than it is to blunder forward into dangerous waters. And if it's any consolation, I was in the same position as you when I was 17. But without the internet. Lex
Well atleast you have US to talk to! We're here for you anyways. But since you're a senior, you're probably off to college next year. I advise you, having been to two colleges already and not doing this, COME OUT when you get to college. Dont let people know you as straight first, it makes it harder. People wont give you shit if they think it's just a fact of who you are. Also, even if you dont really come out right away, you will meet a lot more gay people in college than you would in your highschool. Either because colleges tend to be more diverse or because people tend to come out in college and really grow into themselves. So dont worry, you might not have an easy time making gay friends or anything now, but in a few months, you'll be meeting all kinds of people!
im not suggesting you come out completely. you should only come out when you are ready. but it is very true that being totally out improves your chances of meeting gay guys 110%! Being out and just generally social, you can meet lots of guys in a friend-of-a-friend situation. sorry to hear that there aren't many glbt social/youth groups in your area. there arent any in mine either so hey, probably the best advice i have for you is not necessarily what you want to hear: wait it out. until youre comfortable to be out, until your schoolmates mature, or until you are in an opportunity to attend clubs/groups.
I'd also say you should wait if you aren't ready to come out. Enjoy your high school time as it is now. Change is usually hard, and you're almost done anyways, right? If you plan on going to college/university you'll find that there are LOTS more people lol. Also, just like these forums, it's easier to "come out" to people you don't really know yet. Most schools have LGBT communities/groups/events on campus. It's pretty easy to just come out to the LGBT community at school. Personally, I didn't come out til the second year of university ... which was a few months ago lol. I don't regret anything from high school, I don't regret not dating at that age (too young! ..in my opinion..). There isn't much of a difference between end of high school and beginning of university.. it isn't like you'll miss out on a lot in that time. This is all assuming you plan on going to college/university, though... (I do wish I came out the first day of university though, lol).. Overall, university was a great help to coming out / meeting gay people / etc. Don't rush yourself if you feel lonely. Just enjoy your time with your current friends.
ok well this may be a bit far fetched and may make you seem a bit fake, but get a facebook account, tweak your name on it a bit and search for gay groups on there and join them, its a way to meet people, none of your other friends from your other facebook would know its you and you can be totally anonomys without having to worry about outing yourself
Thanks everyone for the advice. I guess I may be just impatient, but to some degree I've been wanting to come out for a time. There are days when I say "no way" and other days when I wonder "why not?" Lol I'm so fickle. But at this point I'm in the kinda place where I'll admit it if it's brought up (with some people anyway), but I don't want to come out to everyone or a large group of people at once....too much attention. But thanks again!
