Today when my boyfriend came to pick me up, instead of heading to his place, he broke up with me in my driveway stating that since he was about to start coming out to people he couldn't be romantically involved with someone and also that he was starting to feel for me more a friend than romance....I'm just so hurting right now. I feel like my heart has been ripped out, my stomach is in knots, and anything about him makes me cry. We were only together for a month but compared to my relationships prior, the last one that had lasted 5 months, for some reason this one has got me crying my heart out and just breaking down. I don't know what to do....I need some support but my mom doesn't know I'm gay and right now is when I could REALLY use her support....
I am very sorry that this is happening to you (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) No matter how long you have been with him, if you love him that's completly normal that you are hurting. I know it won't be of a big comfort right now, but time will help you healing, I promise (*hug*). For now allow yourself to feel the pain it causes you, it's the best way to get rid of it. It's going to be hard for a while, but it'll become easier with time. Don't stay alone with your pain either. Call your friends, crying on someone's shoulder helps too and make as many posts as you need about it on EC. As for your mum, if you don't want to come out to her right now, maybe you can still tell her that you have a heartbreak and feel very down. I think mothers can feel that kind of things anyway. Take care (*hug*), Eleanor
Thanks Eleanor. I just don't know what to do....I feel like giving up on my day tomorrow, staying home, and just watching tv and eating Ice Cream (which I don't actually have here but just saying)....but I have to go get into a class that requires special permission, get my stuff from music back by going to a nearby office, and I also have a 4 hour class....the last one I don't know if I'll be able to stand....
First of all: (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Breaking up is always hard. Especially if you didn't see it coming. And often breaking up sooner in a relationship, when everything is still seeming rosy, is even tougher. I don't entirely get why he can't be romantically involved with anyone when he wants to come out, but I'm sure he has his reasons to say that. Coming out is already massively stressful, and maybe he is afraid that it will be too much to also keep a relationship going. And if he doesn't feel like the romance is there, then it's probably best of him to be honest with you about it up front. While it's tempting to start double-guessing his motives, it's probably best not to do that now, and just let your emotions out. If you can't go to your mother for support (and coming out when you're stressed like this might not be the best idea), is there another close friend or family member you could contact or go to? Maybe posting your thoughts on here can help too. writing my feelings down always helps for me. Or if you want to unload without doing it on the forums, don't hesitate to send me or any of the staff people a PM. It's what we're here for! I know it's not much, but I can only offer you a lot of virtual hugs from here. I hope they help a little... (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) EDIT, okay, I typed this before there were any replies. I think that if you really feel like staying home, maybe it's best to just do the minimum classes (like the special permission one) and then tell you're feeling really sick. On the other hand, maybe they can also help in focusing on other things than the hurt for a while...
I completly understand that you want to stay at home watching TV and eating ice-cream. On the other hand, I know that when I am very down, being active helps me to put my mind out of things. When I feel very depressed and emotionnal, going to school is the best way I have found to get rid of these feelings for a few hours, because it obliges me to be completly focus on something else. But now, if you feel you're not going to be able to stand it, maybe you can do the things you really have to, like your special permission class, and skip the rest. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Eleanor
I should clear up that the special permission class is just going to the department and asking for permission. It's not actually me going to the class lol. Plus it's online.
Well thats a stupid reason that he doesn't want to be in a relationship because he's going to start coming out. He probably doesn't like you in a romantic way (ya, he probably spent the month figuring it out) and wants to date other people when he comes out. Anyways, he probably wasn't right for you and you'll find mister right sometime.
