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Being more open

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jiggles, Jan 6, 2010.

  1. Jiggles

    Jiggles Guest

    This is probably a stupid question but how do you become more open about your sexuality with out being arrogant or blasting it from the roof tops? Its something that's bugged me for a while when people say you should be more open about it.
     
  2. zzzero

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    I have the same issue. i want to be more open about it but I dont want people to see it as me flaunting it or something stupid like that
     
  3. mmilam75

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    I think it's just a matter of waiting for opportune moments. For example, a co-worker I came out to recently, I don't talk about my sexuality to the exclusion of all else, but someone sent out an e-mail about how men can make women happy and vice-versa, and I sent a joking response to the co-worker I am out to making a joke about how that subject not only didn't apply to me now (since I'm not married) but would never apply to me. We laughed and went on. It's not a matter of always needing to make a public pronouncement as much as it is just making it part of your life that you talk about when it's appropriate to the situation.
     
  4. RaeofLite

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    Humour seems to work for me most of the time. Of course my friends know but sometimes I"ll crack a joke when, for instance, a friend mentioned how her boyfriend and her had great sex and I said "Mmm, that's what all the girls I'm with say." :wink:

    Or if you're talking to someone you're not out to, just mention it casually. Many [hetero] people seem to have no problem saying "Oh me and my boyfriend/girlfriend" do this or did this on the weekend, etc. They also say to their friends, "Damn, she/he is cute..." so if you did something like that it wouldn't be 'flaunting' since if that's "flaunting", then they flaunt it in your face every day as well (if you think about it this way).
     
    #4 RaeofLite, Jan 6, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2010
  5. Greggers

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    To me, it means not hiding a part of myself because people might think of it as "flaunting. If i see a guy i think is cute, i say so. If my friends are talking about movie stars, i join in. If a lady gaga song comes on, i jam out. Simple things. I used to feel the need to either stay quiet or tone things down, but when i realized that was denying who I am I knew i had to stop.

    Everyone already knows im gay, so i thought i was "out". But every time i deny my true self something, im sticking a little piece of me back in the closet. So i try not to.

    Of course, thats just my take on being "out" for myself. Like other people have said, the main thing about being "out" is not lieing when confronted with a situation about your sexuality ("do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend", "dont you think she/he is hot", ect.) If your not purposely trying to bring up the subject, your not flaunting it.
     
  6. Pokerface

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    just be yourself and say what you feel like saying when you feel like saying it... make sure that what you say, what you think and how you act make sense altogether. :wink: it works for me

    good luck :slight_smile:
     
  7. Silvermark

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    One sort of obvious way without totally flaunting it is just wearing a wristband or a pin of some sort which shows your sexuality... (Rainbows pretty much)

    I'm not an open person. I don't go around expressing my sexuality; but I do wear a rainbow wristband pretty much everywhere now.
     
  8. Zach1992

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    Use a joke at your expense & turn it around.

    A friend told be he'd stick a dick up my ass & I said "I'd love it!".
     
  9. Dr Acula

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    That's always a good laugh, especially if they say they would beat anyone at gay chicken.
     
  10. Holmes

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    Be as gay as straight people are straight. If people are talking about wishing they had a boy/girlfriend, mention how you'd like a boyfriend. If you come out of the cinema, and if you genuinely think it, say you think Robert Downey, Jr, was hot, if your friends are likely to mention they thought Rachel McAdams was hot. If someone's talking about someone else being gay, don't be afraid to say, "I know what that's like", or something like that. It shouldn't really be that big of a deal when you think about it. I'm at a stage where people might just casually refer to it. A few days ago, I was talking to two girls in my class about what films are coming up, and I mentioned A Single Man. Later one of them asked if I kissed anyone on New Year's Eve, as there were loads of gay boys around. Little things like that.

    And you should definitely speak up if someone makes a bigoted remark.
     
  11. malachite

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    i had the same feeling when i first came out. you can check out a guy without making a huge deal about.

    but, don't feel like you can't, afterall straight guys call out hot girls all the time.
     
  12. ethelred

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    Well that is obvious, no need to mention it.

    "You must trust me maddam, I am a professional. The key to my release is beneath this pillow." Sure is...

    Anyway, I like humor, it is more fun. Also, it is surprisingly easy to get things in under the radar. I spent half of New Years making oblique gay jokes and references and no one picked up on it, except people who were in "the club."

    Though the one time at the party when it was rather obvious was some comment about someone's happy trail since he was stretching and his shirt lifted up. A straight guy commented how unsightly it was, and the two gay guys in the room including me were like:

    "What! That's like, the best part!"
    "Seriously, that's a nice one, too."
    (the subject of the discussion, genuinely serious) "Thanks guys!"

    Or the running joke where a girl kept poking the other gay guy in the butt because he had ripped jeans and you could see his pajama bottoms underneath.

    "I thought you liked it!"
    "Not when girls do it..."

    So just do whatever. The "eye for an eye" thing is a good measuring stick.
     
  13. Connor22

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    gay chicken, worlds best pick up line(!)(!)