i have this odd feeling. i suppose it started about a year after i worked out that i found girls attractive, that it was a bit weird. i'm so sorry if this offends anyone and i know it's really stupid, but, it just there, i can get away from it. the feeling then girls don't go together as lovers and neither do boys because, we're not designed to and my head just tells me that it can't happen because it shouldn't happen because it doesn't happen in nature. it was only after my ex came out as transgender that i realised that i was totally out of sync with that, whats wrong with the body your in? i just don't see it. why do you feel so desperatly that you have to change your born gender? your alive and are perfectly capable of enjoying it with the body you are given, well, thats my sick opinion anyway. whats wrong with me. I know i'm wrong. and i would love to be the beautiful person that can accept people for who they are and who they want to be. Of course i would never ever voice my opinion in fear of seriously offending my glbt friends. well, I'm sure I have offended Jake, or El, enough times already. and he'll probably read this, don't bring it up in conversation jakers.
It takes a while. The high school I went to, while here in the city was as non-gay-friendly as it could be. I didn't even know any openly gay people until I was in my early twenties, and even then my own internal, repressed homophobia stuck around for a long time. I'm only now managing to shed it. It just takes time. As to "natural"... this computer I'm typing at is unnatural. The coffee I'm drinking comes from seeds that have been unnaturally bred for flavour, unnaturally roasted under a fire and unnaturally ground up and drowned in boiling water to make a tasty beverage. Unnatural does not equal bad, just different. As to enjoying the body you're given, I used to think that as well, until I became friends with an FtM transgendered person. Really understanding their perspective helps greatly. Maybe one of our trans members can chime in?
I think the most important thing for all of us to realize is that it is not for us to decide what is natural. Transgender issues are something which I am not well versed in at all. Frankly I am sincerely concerned about many trans people because the ones I have met, either in person or online, seem to be pretty depressed people. However the important thing that we must all remember is that just as our own same sex attractions are very difficult for straight people to understand, being transgener is difficult for a male or female to understand. If there is a rule for this new world with all our open minds and liberal attitudes it should be that we accept all people at face value for what THEY SAY THEY ARE. Nobody knows how it feels to be anyone else. We all have the same goal, to be happy and fulfilled and loved. With open minds and open arms it is imperative that we accept everyone in the LGBT movement and help each other. ESPECIALLY when we don't understand it.
Educate yourself. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal:LGBT/Topics Start conversations with members on this site. There are a lot of people here who identify as the things that you don't understand. Getting to know them as friends and as people will help you overcome your anxiety and fear.
Hi there It seems to me (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that there is two different things in what you're saying. First one being that you are attracted to girls, but that it feels weird to you because you think men and women are designed to be together and that same sex couples are not "natural". Second one being that you don't understand why transgendered people are not happy in the body they are born with and why they have to go into transition. For the first question you have, related to same sex attraction, I think you have a lot of misconceptions that probably came from your education. First thing, same sex attraction is not "anti-natural". Contrary to what you seem to think, homosexuatily exists in other species too, mainly mamals. In the human species, homosexuality have always existed, with several degree of tolerance depending on the societies. Ancient Romans and Greeks for exemple were very tolerant on that matter and a big part of their civilazation revolved around it. Recently, I have heard a french psychiatrist comparing homosexuality with left-handed people. Most people are right-handed but some are left-handed. It's a variation of the nature, that doesn't mean that being left-handed is wrong or anti-natural. I think you can even follow the metaphor saying that bisexuality can be compared with the fact of being ambidextrous. I understand how and why you might feel uncomfortable with the fact that you are attracted to girls and in the same time that you think that being gay is "wrong". But if you educate yourself on that matter, you'll realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay, or bisexual. And if the feelings of love that come with same sex attraction are not different nor less beautiful than those that come with heterosexual attraction. About the reason why transgendered people are not happy with their gender and why they feel the need to transition, not being transgendered myself I can only guess how they might feel. You say that you don't understand why they deperatly feel that they have to change their born gender. I think that the answer is in the fact that they are not the gender their body says they are. I completly fine with my gender. I'm a woman. I identify myself as a woman. I like wearing feminine clothes, to have long hair, to wear make-up. And I can only imagine how desperate I would be if I have those feelings and those wants in a male body. I think I'd feel as a complete stranger in my own body, and I would probably do whatever it takes to try to change my body into a body that feels right for me. Of course I could only imagine what it must be to be transgendered, but I am sure that it's a great deal of pain to feel that your body is not what it must have been. And I think it takes a great deal of courage too to decide to transition considering how intolerant our societies still are to anything and anyone who is different. To conclude that already very long and boring post, I think that intolerance usualy comes from fear and fear comes from ignorance. So I congratulate you to try to educate yourself on those questions, and talking to people who are gay, bi and transgender is probably the best way to do it. You are in the right place for this. Take care, Eleanor
I agree with the above all this problem requires is alittle education have a look round some sites read alittle bit and hopefully soon all those thoughts and feelings from your first post won't still exsist
it's ok, I found no part of that offencive...and I suppose its more "wanna-be-transgender" feel happy hunni el xxx
I know i'm so not the best person to give advice, but maybe you just need to date some more people and see where it takes you...
Uh, my name has an e in it! And I just meant its hard to decide your orientation on two people, one of who now identifys as gay. It was it in no way a slur on your good self you are, of course, a beautiful person.
