So Cynical and Hateful

Well that isn't fair...what if they did losse overything...what if they did die,wouldn't that bother you,since you wished it on them?
The only real way I see to fix that is to change it yourself, It really isn't hard to find someone you can be yourself around,it really isn't,just be out more,let people see your true colors,because when you have friends,it truely does make you happy

 

I'm sorry you feel so down. Things will get better as you get older, when I was younger I sort of felt the same way you do right now. It took a few years and a few failed relationships along the way before I found happiness. Hell, even after I found a good relationship, it fell apart 4 years later (he went str8t again...go figure).

 

Just wait until you wish one of these things upon someone and then it comes true; You will most likely be so racked with guilt you will stop wishing these bad things on people.

Its normal to envy people or to spite them, but to wish ill harm and/or death onto someone is not so normal. Its good that you seem to want to change though. Maybe this is something a counselor or shrink could help with though. All i can recommend is to try and look at the positives in your live and remind yourself that things like heavy drug and alcohol use have their consequences so there is no need to hate someone for it.

Alot of this boils down to the "golden rule". Do unto others as you wish to be done unto yourself (or something like that).

 

Jealously is a natural instinct. I'm pretty sure cavemen were being little green monsters over the fact that someone else had a prettier rock. In all sense, it would only seem natural for someone to wish bad upon someone, seeing as they are happier and the other is not. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it should be a driving force behind someone's suicide, but rather, their goals; seeing someone better than you can help you strive and aspire to be equal to or greater than them. Instead of trying to bring them down, try raising yourself (no offense). And surely their are people out there who are feeling the same way about you; jealous about looks, intelligence, a hot body (yes, I couldn't help but look at the picture), or other things. All in all, your "perception" of the world isn't as cynical as you should make it.

 

Hi, Austin.

First of all, (*hug*)

Second of all, I find a lot of people insufferable, too, and I think it's because I see so many people out there taking advantage of what they have and complaining about trivial things that shouldn't even matter. So when I see these people making stupid choices and causing their own problems, it's hard for me to feel sympathetic or apologetic. However, it reached the point where I only saw and expected the worst in people, no matter who they were, and it ultimately made me see the worst in myself.

It sounds to me like your confidence and self-worth are the issue here. I don't think the problem is that you're hating everyone for what they do; I think it has more to do with the fact that you hate you're not a part of it, whatever it is. Your logic is basically saying, "If I can't have that, then no one else can. So they all just need to die." In a way, it makes sense, but it's unfair, unrealistic, and unconstructive. You need to fix this because it's definitely not getting you anywhere, and the fact that you're realizing it now is a great start to overcoming it.

I think you need to find a good, constructive hobby, one that will occupy your mind for a while, and maybe one that will get you socializing with people who share the same interests as you (aka, people you can at least tolerate). What type of activities do you enjoy? Watching movies? Playing sports? Volunteering? Reading or writing? It can be anything. The less free time you have doing nothing, the less free time your mind has to think.

 

I have those from time to time. Just try to remember that wishing bad things on other people isn't going to change your life situations, and it isn't going to effect those people. All you're doing is bringing yourself down with negative thoughts.

 

Just look at my blog. See if it makes you happy, or laugh...

 

This thread is f**kin awesome. My roommate is a total a-hole and he falls into this. Wanna know what he said? Well he teases me because I don't fall under the standard which apparently is "the ideal people strive for" and I just can't help but look at him and be like you're f-in joking me.

Yes there's the standard but here's how I look at it. The people who are outside the standards, so the people who are scene/goth/emo, the people who are autistic like myself, the people who just people shun because of how they dress or how they act or who they are, because we deal with that we have to work a HUNDRED times harder so that we can make something of ourselves. But frankly to me, we're the ones who are going to succeed in life. Those who are handed things because they fit the norm? They're the ones who are in the future going to wind up with nothing because they never had to work for anything. Me and people like me? We're going to be the ones who are extremely successful whether lawyers, actors, doctors, millionaires, whatever, because we had to work a hundred times harder and as a result we made ourselves into who we are because we had to work for it.

That's just my opinion. To those on here who maybe are under that "standard" I apologize if you feel insulted, but frankly all of us in the LGBT are technically outside the standard. However even in our community, there's still a standard. And because of me and my autism, I'm outside that standard so I have to work so much harder.

Anyway, people are cynical as I just showed in my above words. I hope you see what I mean.

 

Will it though?

I am 27 and still feel the same as the opening poster.

 

I sure hope so. Since I was about 6, I've always been pretty pessimistic. And I think that all of these years of the pessimistic thoughts and things, i'm getting more cynical. I kinda wish it will stop, but i kinda don't...