So this has been weighing in on my mind heavily for a while now. Apparently I good friend of my on New Year's Eve went drinking with friends now this doesn't bother me I mean hey it's New Year's I had a little bit of Champagne myself. What did bother me was that he for a lack of a better phrase he got shitfaced drunk and drove home like that and he knew he had to drive home. Now when he told me this he was laughing it up like it was a joke. However I got pissed that'd he'd that something like that so easily (him having just gotten in trouble for reckless driving). So I've been mad at him and been giving him shit about it. He seems somewhat disappointed but I'm I over reacting or is it a proper response. Sorry to bother you guys but I've needed to get that off my shoulders.
Well, in the case of friends who enjoy doing stupid and reckless things and think that its fun/funny to do them... ...your most likely going to come off as the "buzzkill/killjoy/party pooper/debbie downer" type by nagging on him for doing reckless things. On the one hand, driving drunk is SUPER dangerous, not only for your friend but other people, so you kind of have to say something. On the other hand, your not much good to your friend if he ignores whatever you say. Id look for a middle group if i was in your situation. Try to appeal to his common sense (if he has any) or give him a good reason to stop doing it. Before you do that though, id wait awhile and find a good time to bring it up. A time that he can really take in what your saying and when your preferably alone so the peer pressure element is gone. Dunno if any of this helps. I tend to stay away from friends like that in the first place.
Yeah the issues seemed to have died down. Also we get along great this would be the first time I've gotten angry with him. I was surprised cause he's so into staying healthy and staying in shape and whatnot. He was almost immediately apologetic when I told him what he did was really stupid. Also this would be the first time he has drunk and driven seeing as how he just got his license. I just worry for my friends.
Well thats good If this is not a habit for him, it could just be the whole thrill of getting his license and such. If he is apologetic then thats all you can do for him. Just keep an eye on him, maybe tell him that if he needs a ride to phone you or something?
A friend of mine when I was growing up, his dad was a person who NEVER drinks. He (the dad) had 3 or 4 glasses of champaign on new years. He drove home (only a mile or two.) He happened to run into a sobriety checkpoint. He was over the legal limit. He got arrested and charged with drunk driving. His car got towed. He lost his job as a result of the drunk driving conviction, had to pay about $5000 in fines and for the anti-drinking classes, plus 48 hours in jail. He lost his license for 6 months. And his insurance got cancelled, and he ended up having to sell the family car and get some old janky one, because he had a loan on the car and could not get insurance to cover the expensive car. All in all, my friend said his dad figured that little drunk driving endeavor cost him about $40,000 in lost wages, additional insurance costs, and everything else, not to mention all the stress and embarrassment for him and the secondary effects on the family. Not a risk I'd want to take.
Drunk driving is an awful thing and it should never happen but it DOES happen every day, and kills more people than most things in the world... Your friend was stupid to do it but i'm positive he didnt do it on purpose. Who in their right mind would drive drunk on purpose... Maybe he's just dealing with his own guilt by laughing at it. Just make sure he never does it again and everything will be fine. He got lucky this time and shouldnt press his luck again.
If you have a friend or relative who was injured or killed in a drunk-driving accident, you can always mention that. But if you don't, you're just spouting statistics, and nobody likes statistics ruining their day. Instead of emphasizing his stupidity, emphasize his safety. "Next time you get like that, call me and I'll come drive you home. I don't want anything to happen to my friends." Lex
Instead of telling him about how stupid it was, try giving him some advice about how to deal with a similar situation in the future, but try to avoid sounding preachy about it. Maybe bring it up as an I know how much you worry about your health and safety so here are some things I found for you type of deal since you said he's very health conscious. You could give him numbers for taxis or other services in the area that could bring him home if he gets in a similar situation again, give him ideas of friends he could call for a ride, etc.
I would tell him in the future to call you if he needs a driver. While you may not want to do this, if it were me, I would make my position extremely clear by letting him know that you are not friends with people who would so readily endanger themselves and others. What if you had been out on the road and he had hit you or a family member, injuring or killing himself and others? Unacceptable.
