man im alittle bit scared of the future.you see i havent came out to my parents yet and just the thought makes me uncomfortable.why because things will change ,not for me ,but for them.i want to tell them and iv kinda have to.i dont want them to leave earth and not know.its going to be so hard and emotional bc im from a different culture that being gay is really not ok.oh and my brother well not except.i can just see him yelling at me not talking to me.saying dont get near me.ahhh man i feel like nervous just thinking about it.i am also going to be an uncle for the first time.what the heck am i going to say to my nefew.how is my brothers wife going to react.i just feel i want someone to talk to in person about this.a gay friend but right now im hunting for some friends.on top of that my mom and dad are sick too.my dad has high blood preasure and my mom has really really bad diabeties.extreme emotional stress can lead her to haveing a stroke.i just think sometimes maybe i shouldnt tell them at all.:icon_sad:
Personally I told my family last (or rather, I will have, when I tell them). Especially if you think it might cause issues, I would tell some of your close friends first so you have people to fall back on if you think it isn't going to go over well with your family, but that is completely up to you. I am much closer with my friends than my family, so I felt more of a need to tell them. Your nephew doesn't need to know, nor does your brother's wife if you don't feel the need to tell them. Don't come out if you don't feel safe about it, and only tell the people you want to know. Make sure you have something going for you if you need to give your family some time to get used to it. If you are really worried, you might not need to tell them in person either. I plan on writing a letter to my parents soon detailing everything I couldn't tell them over my winter break. Letters make it easier to get your emotions in line and get the point through, and once you send it there's no turning back (which could be good or bad).
Oh, and as for your family's health issues, they're going to have to deal with it eventually unless you plan on hiding yourself forever. The issues might not go away, so don't wait for them. It will only cause you stress if you're waiting for your parents to get better so you can tell them the truth. We're all here for you though, so if you need someone to talk to there's always somebody on EC for you! (&&&)
(*hug*) Parents can be a tough one. I think you should tell them, instead of hiding it. Maybe not at this exact moment, but soon because its causing you stress. As for your brother, well theres not much you can do besides telling him. Its up to him whether he will accept you or not. But if he doesnt, just remember that there will always be others who will accept you, you just havent met them yet. I think someday you will have friends that you can talk to about this. I never thought i would have any friends and now i have an awesome one, who i can talk to openly about being gay with.
Wow..deja vu.. :icon_wink My dad also had high blood pressure and my mom has her diabetes..i dont have a brother but my siblings figured it out early on so it was easier with them and im also an uncle.. 2 nieces and a nephew. It's easier to just get it out of the way..or you will work yourself up and will be afraid to tell anyone..wind up chained in the closet... Pick a time when they arent worrying about something else like death of a family member (god forbid) or hospitalization.. get it done and out of the way..you are still their son..they will just know something they didnt know before (*hug*)
Coming out to some really close and supportive friends first is often what works best for most people. Even when our parents are expected to be supportive and understanding it is difficult to tell them this news. So when you are fairly certain that they won't react in a positive way, it is especially scary. Perhaps you don't need to come out to them at all for now. Wait until you're living your own life - job, house, supportive friends - and then consider it again. Just remember that you're not a bad person or doing anything wrong. The fact that people are going to react poorly is THEIR problem, NOT yours. You are who you are, and trying to deny that is way more destructive than not. Hang around here in EC to feel better about yourself and your orientation. The better you can feel yourself about it, the more confident you'll be in telling other people. Good luck!
