Straight Male Whore

i sometimes i wouldnt say flirt to me but maybe to them with some girls...i also dont know why...maybe for them...but does nothing for me...

 

maybe you're bi or something dude. i have a hard time seeing anything attractive about girls, and i've never been able to talk about them being hot or anything it just always made me uncomfortable.

flirting though is a completely different thing. there are different kinds of flirting. were you "interested" flirting or just flirting because it's something to do and it's easy when there's no pressure?

course, you could just be weird. but i wouldn't worry too much. we all wanna be normal, but being normal would mean you have to be average...which also means you can't be exceptionally good at anything, you can't win first place, and you can't be hot.

as for advice, i'd say probably don't go out with them, that could be cruel, i mean, if they actually liked you, you'd just be towing them along.

 

Uh.

Sorry dude, but I don't think you're as gay as you think you are.

Look at the way you wrote about the 'pretty' girl. 'Seductive stare'? Really?

 

Yeah lol, I couldnt really think about a girl in the same way you seem to here... You might not be that gay if you're really thinking about these things.
Also, personally I find fliriting with someone you have no intention of doing anything with, emotionally or physically is wrong. It's misleading to the people you're doing it to. Giving them false hope. Sure they might feel good about it for a second because a guy likes them, but how do you think they'll feel when they discover you were doing it for yourself and never really cared. They'll feel used and worse than they did before you flirted.
When you flirt it doesnt just affect you. If you are really into guys and want to come out and be gay, flirting with girls isnt going to help you. However, I think it's clear here that you're not really as gay as you might think...
I have a big problem with people who are overly flirtatious because I have seen too many people be flirted with and flirt back only to be hurt when they found out it was for nothing, and that the person wasnt actually interested all along but just wanted to flirt. it's fine if both of you know what's going to come out of it, but in this case, i'm guessing those girls didnt think you were doing it to make yourself feel better.

 

Well I think the terms your flirting under are not right. You're not flirting because you're interested and you're clearly misleading these girls who already have a hard time as it is. Leave the girls alone if you dont want anything with them. Chase after guys if guys are what you really want. Dont lead people on, it's incredibly selfish and rude.

 

Its kind of the same thing as Straight Girls who hit on OBVIOUSLY Gay Guys. They only do it because they have such low self esteem and/or commitment issues that they try and go for someone they subconsciously know they can never have. Its safe.

Same thing for Gay Guys who hit on Straight Guys. It can often be traced back to low self esteem and/or commitment issues. If you need that esteem boost, you look for it where its safe, in this case the "lowly" girls.

Maybe you dont think you can actually get someone unless they are "underneath" you so to speak? Anyways, this all reeks of low self-esteem. I have the same problem, but i just convince myself never to try in the first place instead

 

So... your gay... yet you wanna date a girl? Makes total sense.

Anyways, you can compliment them etc but if you lead them on you're just a complete asshole. Compliments are one thing but flirting is totally different. If you're doing it with girls who are ugly or weird or have problems, that is especially bad because they probably don't have much self esteem, or probably haven't dated many people. When you haven't dated people before you can fall for someone easily, and it'd be horrible if you broke those girl's hearts...

So, I say you stop flirting with them, but you can compliment them every now and then. Or, let them know you are gay before they start to like you (aka come out to everyone). Don't date people to boost your own self esteem if you don't see a future with them. That's an assholeish thing to do.

If you are interested in their personalities, just be friends with them.....

 

Reading most of your post i was just thinking you are a total arse. Then i read down to the bottom and i was just confused.

 

Wow, I do the exact same thing that you mentioned in your first post. I enjoy flirting with girls and I enjoy talking about a girl's hotness with my straight friends.

For the flirting, I don't think its a good thing when I do it. I think usually it is selfish. I struggle with self-esteem and flirting with girls and having them flirst back is a fairly easy way to get a quick self-esteem boost. Being gay, it is very easy for me to flirt with girls because there is no pressure and I'm not nervous around girls like other guys might be. This is definitly something I've been trying to work on.

In terms of the hotness of girls I think I understand what you're getting at. I appreciate a girls hotness or beauty I think in the same way that I appreciate good art or a breathtaking view. I can appreciate and admire the beauty but there is nothing really sexual about it. I've never had an attitude of wow, this girl is hot, I'd do anything to get into her pants.

I think for me as well, being gay I don't really get any pleasure from talking about female porn stars or strippers but there is still a sort of excitement that comes with talking about a taboo subject. I remember way back when I was a young teen and my friends would show me their porn magazines, I was never really interested in seeing the boobs or stuff like that but there was still something very exciting (in a non-sexual way) about looking at the porn because it was something that seemed 'bad' and against the 'rules'.

All that being said, I know that I'm gay because I've never got an erection from a girl or fantasized about a girl in a sexual way.

 

My two cents: you're not completely comfortable with your sexuality, so you're subconsciously making yourself feel straight by flirting with these girls and talking bout them. This is the only way to hold on to being straight. OR you just enjoy playing around with girls, which I think is wrong since nothing gonna happen with them. OR You're not completely gay, but who really is?? I'm not COMPLETELY gay, just mostly and everything you've said about yourself sounds a lot like how I feel. I can tell when a girls hot and I wouldn't mind kissing them but nothing more. Again this is just my two cents. I'm probably way off anyways...lol

 

Of course it's all right to admire a persons beauty. Beauty is a wonderful thing and if you can see it, it's something really special. I definitely think there is a way though that you can admire these girls' beauty without leading them on and giving them false hopes. What you're doing is probably hurting them more than when you're complimenting them. Certainly it's nice to be told you're pretty, or something you're wearing one day makes you look good, I know I like it when people tell me that. But you NEED to do it in a way that doesn't seem like you're flirting with them. It's cruel and it's hurting them

 

It sounds like you may be doing this because of self-esteem issues. It is very common for LGBT people to have trouble with self-esteem, particularly when they are first coming to grips with their sexuality. The fact that you do this with girls who you deem less attractive suggests that you think they are more likely to react positively to your flirting, which perhaps you think, consciously or subconsciously, will help your self-esteem.

While flirting can be harmless in some instances, there are a few problems with what you are doing. First, it sounds like you are leading these girls on to believe that you are actually interested in them. This can only lead to hurt and resentment eventually when they learn otherwise. It can also hurt your reputation if you become known as someone who plays with others’ emotions. You have indicated that you are gay. While sexuality can be fluid and is not necessarily absolute, you have rejected the suggestion that you are bi and actually interested in dating them. While you may feel like flirting with these girls makes you feel better about yourself, I suggest you think about whether it is right to use other people for your own benefit.

Moreover, if you do have self-esteem issues, flirting with girls to make yourself feel better is not addressing what is causing you to feel badly about yourself. As I said, many of us have/had self esteem issues, particularly when first coming out. You will likely feel much better about yourself if you deal with the underlying cause of your self esteem issues. For many people, it is accepting that they are gay and coming out. Once they do that, their feelings of self-worth improve dramatically.

I know many gay guys who flirt with girls, but the girls also know that the guys are gay. I flirt with women sometimes, even when I am with my boyfriend, but these women know that I am gay. It can be a lot of fun, as long as you are not toying with another person’s emotions

 

I like to bitch that those straight girls a LOT. I don't like fag hags at all. Straight women like to exercise the immense amount of sexual power they usually have. But gay men are a challenge for them so they try really hard to use it. I find this kind of straight woman to be deserving of a very stern talking to. Grr i'm not even going to go into my rant about straight women abusing their sexual power.

And as for gay guys hitting on straight guys, yeah it's wrong, but some guys you never know. I know I have hit on straight guys before who I thought might have some interest in guys but are closeted and I'll tell you, I havent always been wrong...

 

Regardless of your motives I hope you're not being intentionally disrespectful of these girls. To me, an LGBT person loses their right to complain about being mistreated by the straight world if they mistreat others in turn. Let's lead by example!

 

You may not actually be 'flirting' with these girls. Being gay, sometimes its easier to be friendlier with girls because there is pressure so you may just be being really friendly. Because they think you're straight they may take it as flirting.