If I used to be with girls, kiss them, and tell them I love them, am I still considered gay? Did I love them- I enjoyed their time and liked the attention, but no. I didn't. Could I see myself being in a sexual relationship with them, no. But like I said.. I kissed them. I don't know why I keep fighting myself on this issue when I know I like guys, but my past is kind of.. Strange. Tell me what you think?
That you're asking these questions is awesome but you're still pretty young and there is no need to pick a label until you're ready. Could you see yourself being in a sexual relationship with a guy? Which gender do you fantasize about?
you may also keep in mind that who you fantasize about being with, and who you desire to be with, may change as time rolls along. Nothing wrong with a bit of exploration, which it sounds like you are engaged in now. Keep searching, and be honest with yourself. Then decide how much of yourself and your sexuality you share with others. Their assumptions and presumptions be damned. Your individual breed of sexuality is uniquely yours, and at the end of the day, its only part of who you are. Cheers and good luck. And enjoy the ride!
I used to be MARRIED to a woman. I have two kids. I did a lot more than just kiss. But I consider myself to be gay. I just didn't realize it at the time.
Yup - me too - until I stopped feeling that way and wanting too anymore. In fact, when I finally DID fall in love with a guy, I realized that I had never felt that way about a girl. In many ways, it's what sealed the deal for me in realizing I was gay.
I wish labels could be thrown away completely! Sex is a crazy thing! There are varying degrees of sexuality and we as humans love to put things in a category! Think of sexuality as a series of venn diagrams and each circle of the venn diagram (a venn diagram with multiple circles not just two) represents something that appeals to us. Well, we end up being the little area in the middle where all of our circles connect! Sexuality is not just two circles overlapping, one homosexual, one heterosexual with the center being the bisexuals...no...it is SO much more than that! Have fun! Kiss who you like! Talk to whom you like! Don't try to label it and go with the flow! When you start to play with people's emotions it may become an issue, but if you are upfront and honest, it shouldn't be a problem!
Etienne said it very well. People are way too uptight about labeling everything. Also I think a lot of guys that would identify as gay are with women because it is the "norm" or what is expected of them. They feel it is wrong to be with someone of the same sex because of what society sees and thinks of it. If we all grew up thinking heterosexuality was wrong it would be the same thing.
A lot of gay guys kissed girls before they figured out they were gay. Plenty of them have sex, and like Jim said, some guys marry girls and have kids before they figure it out. So you are whatever you want to be really. If you're into guys and you cant see yourself with a girl then you're gay, but it's your choice to identify as straight or gay or bi sexual or whatever you want. Saying kissing a girl makes you straight is the same thing as saying any sex act with a guy makes you instantly gay. It doesn't. There is nothing you can do to make yourself one way or the other.
your sexuality isn't defined by what you've done, but what you feel. Hell, there's nothing to say you have to define it at all. I've kissed girls, I've kissed boys. I've had sex with boys, I've not had sex with girls. I've had girlfriends, I've had boyfriends. I've looked at (and enjoyed) both heterosexual and homosexual pornography. Does that make me bisexual, pansexual, straight, gay, hippopotamussexual, obamasexual? No. It doesn't really say anything about who and what I am, and neither should your past experiences affect what you feel that you are either. If you feel attracted exclusively or mostly to guys, go ahead and call yourself gay. If you feel attraction to both guys and girls, call yourself bi. If you feel attraction to just girls, call yourself straight. If you feel attraction to people regardless of gender, call yourself pansexual. If you feel attraction to hippopotamuses, go see a therapist. In fact, call yourself whatever you feel comfortable calling yourself. Call yourself 'me'. I hope that answered more questions than it raised
>>>If I used to be with girls, kiss them, and tell them I love them, am I still considered gay? By who? The only important thing is what do YOU consider yourself. Lex
I agree with this. Although for me, switch the pronouns a bit to categorize me as a lesbian. Well said. :eusa_clap I know a lot of women who kiss and do things with other women but consider themselves straight, bi or "just having fun" on the opposite side of the spectrum.
I consider myself gay and I've only had girlfriends, not boyfriends..But I have slept with boys. I kissed people of both genders, and all I could think of when I was making out with a girl was "this is horrible, I want this to end now!" But when I make out with guys, well, time stops.
