It's not really a problem with a person or a reaction to my coming out. I'm out at school, fully out; if someone asks me I will tell them. I've been happy as I could possibly be. Well, my brother's friend (who's in my high school. My brother is not.) asked me in front of my brother if I was gay because "People at school really think you're gay" (Yeah, because I told them, dumb ass). Not being out to family I had to say no. When I did that my mood went right back to where it was before I came out & stayed there. Could any give me some advice on how to get out of this funk?
I'm going to agree with what you did. If you're not ready to come out to your family yet, then you made the right decision. I'd say take some comfort in that, but if you want to turn this experience to your advantage, then use it to motivate you to come out to your family when the time is right.
Right now is not the best time to come out to my family. My mom developed a problem with Hydrocodone following surgery last January & we had no idea how bad she was until around the end of October when she spent a week in jail for using a fake name & trying to get some from the hospital. She's doing better now & involved in a program so I don't want to rock the boat too much for her right now.
Hi I'd definitely take your time with coming out. I've been able to not lie about my sexuality by really evading the question whenever I'm confronted by someone who I don't want to know about it. But, sometimes, you just have to lie. Thank god we aren't forced to tell the truth naturally. Of course, you don't want to form the habit of keeping this inside forever from everyone, but since you're already out to many people, you don't have much to worry about in that respect. However, you need to consider the possibility of word spreading around from a more reliable source, perhaps. Hope all goes well
I wish I could give some advice in dealing with this problem, but I can't because I am dealing with the same issues. I'm so happy in public where closet's never existed but when I come back to the real world with my family and close friends I am always upset because I'm not out to them yet. My family always makes homophobic jokes, especially my mom, who i'm closest too. My male friends always talk about girls and my female friends think that I'm "too masculine" to be gay. Life can be hard when we live double lives but living a double life can be for the best depending on the situation we are given.
Hi there! I agree that it wasn't the best thing that your brother's friend said. I can only imagine how awkward this must have been for you. If not being out to your family is draining and you find yourself in a spot where you used to be and don't want to be anymore, maybe give it some thought as to whether you are ready to come out to your family. It seems that coming out and being out at school is giving you a real lift in terms of how you feel and perhaps even a confidence boost in terms of how you relate to yourself and others. There is no rush in coming out to your family. I think waiting for the dust to settle and until your mum is doing better again, is a good idea. But it might still be something to think about. When you think about coming out to your brother for example, try to take note of how you feel and what your instinct is telling you. Do you feel that your brother would be accepting/supportive?
Yeah! I find that a lot of younger people decide to come out at school before letting their family know. Sooner or later it will get back to the family (especially if you have siblings in the school systems). (I did the same thing and it lead to my coming out to family)
Not knowing what the relationship is with your family and particularly with your brother, is this something you could perhaps confide in your brother about *without* it immediately spreading to the rest of the family? That might be a great middle ground. I'm in agreement that given your mom's situation, bringing it to her attention might trigger a relapse if she doesn't take it well, but if you have a good relationship with your brother, perhaps if you are able to talk to him about what's going on, that will help you to feel more comfortable and still not put strain on your brother.
No, I can not tell my brother. One arguement after telling him then it will be out to my parents whether I like it or not. This sucks.:tears:
Well you are already 18 and since you have told everyone else..you probably have someone to lean on for support if it doesn't go well (aside from us of course :icon_wink). If it does happen to spread to your family (as in these situations it probably will) with your parents reinforce the point that it is not a choice and you are still the same person they loved before (same goes for the conversation with your bro if you decide to talk with him) It's always best to hear something from the person it's about rather than hearing rumors. Just relax, take a deep breath and think about whether or not you would be better off by telling them..weigh the pros and cons then decide. Whether you decide to tell them or not is completely up to you at this point. (*hug*)
There's always reasons to not come out to your family (or anyone, for that matter). But if you put it off for too long, you might never to do it. I think it's kind of like ripping off a band-aid. It's quick and kind of painful, but then it is over. (However, you also can't take it back once you've said the words "I'm gay".) If you tell your parents, you can also tell your brother because he won't have any ammo to use against you in an argument. I came out to my mom over the phone while away at college..And had her tell my dad. I was 21. It probably won't be as big a deal as you think..I made a bigger deal out of it than I needed to.
