I have been dating a guy for almost a week now. He's my first boyfriend, and I'm 18, he's 17. It's been a very healthy relationship so far, and we have almost everything in common. We even share the same name. I'm so excited that we like each other and stuff, but I almost feel as though I don't deserve him and find it's difficult to accept his love because of this. What we have isn't some high school bf thing, but we both feel we are truly in love with each other. I just need help accepting that someone actually loves and cares about me.
first off congratulations on the relationship, are you having a problem with accepting the emotional love from him or a physical love from him...you have only been in the relationship for a week...how long have you known him...you say you have alot in common that great, its a great start, i hope you can figure out what you need to make this thing work for both of you...
Thank you. More of an emotional level. I think it is more of a me problem than him. I don't want to do anything to upset him at all. We have known each other for only a week, but it's almost like meeting the same person, honestly. I want to and he has told me he isn't scared to hear these kinds of conversations, I just don't want to screw up.
Hi there! I think you have mentioned something important in your answer. Although you have quite a few things in common and like each other very much, you have only known him for a week. There are still a lot of things that you need to get to know about him before you will feel truly secure and know that even if you say something that might contradict his thoughts or ways of looking at things, that things will be okay. I think it will just take time and a much better understanding of each other to become really comfortable around him. The good thing is, he has mentioned to you that he doesn't fear to have a conversation with you about things. The more open you are with each other and tell each other what is on your mind, the greater the possibility of making it really work and having something that will last for some time. The other thing to consider though is that your attraction seems to be based upon a physical level, which is totally fine and okay. But now comes the hard part and this is what will in some ways determine what will happen down the road. The emotional level is as, if not more, important in a relationship. For a relationship to work and to be able to really 'fall in love,' if you will, there needs to be a connection not just on the physical but also on the emotional level. Those go in tandem and over time, the emotional level will actually become more important, because this is the level that highlights (to some degree) what makes your boyfriend the person that he is, but also what makes you, you. Over time, as you two share more about each other, learn about your differences and perhaps even more about your commonalities, and create a greater understanding about/of each other, these emotional connections will be formed. You already have a base from which this relationship can grow. Now, you need to start building on that. As you do that, some of your insecurities will perhaps disappear. Take your time in building this relationship though. Get to know him, and allow him to get to know you. Only by getting to know him will you learn as to whether you can create strong emotional connections with him. Hope this helps a bit!
I know a number of people who have trouble accepting love. You totally deserve him - every human being in the world deserves to be loved by another (although it takes some longer to find it). Try lowering your guard a little and letting him in. The greatest feeling on earth is having someone love you without conditions, and you'll take to it like a fish to water if you allow yourself. It's only human!
Can you imagine living like that for the rest of your life? Not knowing what to say to the person in your life for fear of upsetting them? You can't live like that - and it's really better to start being yourself with that person right away. If you have something that you're unsure about, then talk about it. If you have a pet rock collection that you absolutely love and are passionate about, you might as well tell him now! If that upsets him, isn't it better to find out now than a year from now? Honesty in a relationship is the best ingredient. Make sure it's there from day one. It's one of those things that gets more difficult to add as time goes on.
You've only been dating a week you need to give this time. Love doesn't just spring up over night, it is built.
