Today, completely randomly my teacher asked me if I was a lesbian. I was kinda thrown, so I said no, which is technically true. But I didn't mention that i'm not hetero either so he now thinks i'm straight. I guess this shouldn't be such a big deal, and I didn't even lie but its made me feel so weird. I guess I forgot how much I hated being in the closet. And its none of his business and I shouldn't have to tell him and hey, he's not even one of the teachers i'd tell. But after I said I wasn't he said it was okay if I was and now i'm like wtf? Why is this even bothering me so much? :bang:
Why did your teacher ask that anyways? Most teachers would avoid that sort of subject. But you basically answered your question. It's bothering you because you hated being in the closet and that just put you slightly back in. But it is only one person you have lied to and the teacher probably knows you are a lesbian because thats why they would have asked. But I wouldn't worry about it.
I guess its because I made a joke about someone calling me butch a few weeks back. But seriously, who would even remember that? The whole closet thing does bother me which is why I don't get why I didn't just say no, i'm pan. Which is what i'd normally say even if I didn't really like the person. It does suck doesn't it? But can I go back now and be like so i'm not a lesbian but i'm not straight either? Do you think he actually cares or is it just me?
I think it's just us who really cling to moment.For him it was probably just a passing thought, but it lives with us for quite a while making us feel like shit. The kid that asked asked me I can't even stand to be around but my mind continues to go to that moment I said "no".
Thats a good reason! I can completely see your point. And thats *normally* how I treat coming out. i'm so angry at myself!
To be perfectly honest, you shouldn't be angry at yourself. I mean generally we only come out to people we spend a lot of time around and who know us well. Teachers generally don't fall under that category (at least in my mind) because we see them for a few months then we both move on.
Maybe he remembered your butch joke because he's concerned whether you were getting harrassed or something, or possibly he's gay himself. Total speculation. But while he was hardly tactful, it's up to you if you want to clarify with him.
It sounds possible that he asked because he was genuinely concerned about you, although if I were talking to him on your behalf I'd tell him he was treading on sensitive territory and he should have exercised a little more tact... But like the others said, you're probably feeling down about it because you had to continue the lie for a little longer. It's also uncomfortable to be forced into the difficult position of either lying or coming out when it's not on your terms or timeframe. I say don't fret over it, it's natural to feel this way. When you finally come out to the world, these feelings will simply disappear!
It really pisses me off when people ask that question. If I wanted you to know I would have told you.
If it's really bothering you, then tell him the total truth. Maybe he is just concerned bout you or maybe he's gay.
I know he's not gay, he's dating a (female) teacher at school. And he really isn't very tactfull, which is normally fine by me and i'm normally fine with answering questions like that because I figure its easier for everyone if people understand. Even if they are people I would never normally come out to. If it comes back up i'll say something though. Your right, being in the closet really doesn't suit me. And I do get a fair amount me shit about my sexuality but its never really bothered me and I always thought I showed that. I guess I was wrong
we all hate lying, unless we are extremely caloused or delusional. Thanks for posting, cuz I struggle thinking in situations like that. Next time it happens to me I can recite my answer: Sorry, but my sexuality is not appropriate for us to discuss or for you to inquire about.
Oh good answer! My normal comeback is no i'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is. But I was kinda suprised by the question *shrugs* yours is better for teacher situations though
