1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Long Distance Relationships

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RuralMedAU, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. RuralMedAU

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I need some advice from those that have done these. I finally brought up the elephant in the room with this guy that I have been talking for a few months. We both agree that we really like each other and that we connect on a deep level. He did express some concerns about how to do the long distance thing as well as concern that I will be starting medical school in the summer. Both are legitimate concerns. I am very much willing to do everything in my power to make it work with him. We agreed to kick around the idea with ourselves over the next two weeks and we are gonna have another date then. I need some advice
     
  2. xequar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,684
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit area, Michigan
    It's doable, but it sucks. My BF's from Chicago, and I live in Metro Detroit. He still works in Chicago during the week, too (he did become a Michigan resident though). Basically, talk to each other a lot. Send texts and stuff during the day. Also, we see each other every weekend, which is of critical importance. Now that he's legally a Michigan resident and doesn't have his own place in Chicago anymore, he comes here (home) every weekend, which means a 4-5 hour commute here and a 4-5 hour commute back every weekend.

    Basically, it's doable, but it sucks, like I said. Talk often, and see each other often. And make sure you have a BIG budget for gas.
     
  3. RuralMedAU

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    My biggest concern is that being in medical school I will not be able to go to him every weekend or every other weekend but if we saw each other every other weekend and we did it on a roatating basis where I went to him and he came to see me then I think that would work.

    I think we owe it to each other to at least try and see if it will work otherwise we will never know.
     
  4. Davo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I definitely think you should give it a try. I started seeing my boyfriend in the summer before I moved for a work placement, and we don't get to see each other too often. It takes a days travel just to see each other, and I'm busy with work as is he. But we knew how serious we are about each other, and the long hours of travelling, the cost, not seeing each other until holidays, it didn't matter because the time we spend together is so precious and special that it makes all the difficulties worthwhile.

    My boyfriend and I call and/or text each other every day, we write letters, we make time and organise visits whenever we can. It has become more difficult as he is back at uni and working really hard, so we're not able to see each other as much as we'd like... in fact sometimes its a couple of months before we see each other. But the key for this to work is communication, you have to stay in contact, its almost impossible to make contact every day but whenever you can. And it helps to keep busy, I'm working really hard, so is he, so it makes the time you're apart a bit easier to deal with, and the time you're together something you definitely don't take for granted.

    But ultimately it depends on your relationship. If you feel you connect on a deep level, and you're willing to do everything in your power to make it work, then you can make it work.
     
    #4 Davo, Jan 19, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2010
  5. Davo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Can I also add that it hurts like a bitch somedays. You really miss them and there's nothing you can do about it. So it can be tough, so as I said, keeping busy helps
     
  6. RuralMedAU

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I want to be fair to both of us and feel satisfied in teh relationship. Any ideas on how I can ease his fears?
     
  7. TroubledRyan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2009
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Mexico
    uhmm...either way there will be fears,because you guys are not there together...
    like he said,someone days really will bother you when he isn't there, but when he is there,it will make you even happyer :slight_smile: