I've accepted who I am, but now I don't really know what to do

Hi Sarah! Welcome to EC! (!) This is a wonderful forum and I am sure you will find lots of support here.

First of all, you aren't over reacting... second of all everything is going to be very very ok. From what you've said, I have to tell you it sounds like you are in a great place! Your parents and friends all sound fantastic!

Congratulations on coming out to yourself btw. That is the toughest part of the whole process (or at least is was for me, although i am not out to everyone yet). It sounds like you accept the fact that you like girls, some part of you always knew, they are what makes you tick... well, sounds like you've got it nailed.

You are asking what to do next. That is completely up to you. If you want to take some time with it and get really comfortable with it, there is nothing wrong with that in the world. However if you want to tell someone... you are already a member of your schools gay/straight alliance, right? Might be a good place to start... Remember, you don't have to come out to everyone in the world at once.

I said you weren't over reacting because you aren't. It's a big deal when us gays and lesbians finally come to terms with our sexuality. It is a load off our shoulders and we get to finally start being out true selves. Enjoy it!

 

Hi Sarah !

You sound like you've really got things together, which is awesome. You've already done so many of the hard parts; accepting your own sexuality and who you are, coming out to your friends and to your parents. This is going to give you a solid framework on which you can develop your new identity.

I'm no expert on this by a long shot, but it seems to me that once you get to the amazing point where you are, the next step is to develop your new identity, to redefine yourself as a proud and happy lesbian living out in the open. It sounds like you're at that juncture, and it's OK to be a little nervous. Personally I think it's quite exciting that you have the chance to really determine who you will be for the rest of your life, and that it's someone you will be happy being. Take your time, there's no rush. You've already gone a lot further down the path than many here (myself included), so savor the moment and then sieze the opportunity to get it right.

As for your parents, remember that life is one continuous process of evolving and changing, and that applies to you and to them as well, and they're old enough to know and accept this. They may have to change their image of you and also adjust some of their relationships with others or face some of their own insecurities. Don't worry, they really sound like they love and respect you and that they're on your side. They'll realize that this will all be for a new and improved relationship with you, and you know, I know, and I bet they know that you're totally worth it!

Anyhoo, good luck. You've come a long way!

 

Welcome to EC.

And...
I will say that I first actually put the puzzle pieces together that I wasn't straight the summer after graduating from highschool when I saw two girls kiss. I felt something I'd never felt with boys apon seeing that.. I then tried my darndest to date and be interested in guys my age when I went to uni that fall. But I would still always be attracted to their female friends or mutual female friends of ours... The way they'd smile, laugh, joke... just made me melt, sending shivers along me.
Whereas with guys it was just 'buddy buddy', lets do mutual stuff together like go "hiking, dirt biking and play video games".

Even though when I was in elementary school and highschool I would be like "I don't get what the big deal is..." with dating whenever my female friends told me about their boyfriends or hot guy hookups. And that was because... I didn't share their perspectives.

So... the summer after my first year, mom didn't know much about my life and she read my journal about my first HUGE crush on one of my best friends (who politely rejected me but still remained my friend). So fastforward through the years, I dated men and kept them at arms length because I really realized I wasn't doing myself or themselves a favour by putting myself through hell... I was just running away from myself and my true feelings. So in December08/January 09 I would face the girl in the mirror. I had my first girl experience and first series of girlfriends in 2009. I came out in April (Easter) 09 and... the past year I've come out and had some good and bad experiences through it. Mostly good and my parents are starting to come around...

My friends and the support at EC made it so much easier though.

 

By the way, you're not abnormal. LGBT people are simply 10% of the average population at any given time.

 

Well in that case, be as 'abnormal' as you want. I get the "Lisa, you're weird" sometimes from a friend as well; even though I know she has her quirks too. :lol:

 

Congratulations on coming out to yourself!
You know, you reminded me of myself... I had a crush on a pretty girl in kindergarden and I'd always tell my parents she was my best friend. :lol:

Things WILL change when you come out. Some people will be accepting, some won't and it's something we all have to deal with. But letting people know is a big relief. You are Sarah and you'll always be Sarah, nothing's ever going to change that. Your sexuality is just a part of who you really are and if people are bothered by that, then they just don't understand.

BTW, awesome parents are awesome.

 

Hey Sarah

Thanks for sharing your story, and I like that you feel you are an individual in an abnormal way (I pretty much feel like that 24/7). You have made a huge step by accepting yourself, because some people take half their lives to realise who they are. Coming out is definitely not easy and you shouldnt feel ashamed or bad that you are finding it difficult to tell your friends. Its not a race to the finish line, you can take your time about it until you feel you are ready. The fear stopping you will eventually subside and you will find the strength to tell people, because ultimately you want to be happy.

Everyone on this site is so friendly and so many people have helped me, hopefully you will find that EC helps you out. If you want to wall message thats cool. Hope you've had a good day.
nicxxx

 

Hi there and welcome to EC! I'm glad you've found this site, and I'm glad that you've come to recognize and start to accept your orientation. That's not an easy thing to do. It took me 35 years to get to that point - so you're years ahead of me.

What struck me in your introduction here was that you were worried about your life changing. The fact of the matter is, our lives change all the time. Whether we want them to or not. Whether we come out to people or not. Life is just like that.

What I found was that the longer I tried to keep my orientation a secret, the more my life changed for the worse. When I accepted the fact that I was gay and started to be honest with the people around me, the changes in my life were very positive.

That's not to say that you should come out in a big hurry. You need to do that at your own pace. I came out to my doctor and my wife over 3 years ago, and I'm still coming out to people I work with now. It can take as long as you want. It's whatever works for you. In the mean time, I'd strongly recommend hanging out here in EC. It helped me come to terms with my orientation and to get comfortable with myself. I'm sure it will do the same for you! Good luck!