I want to come out to everyone. What I mean by that is that I want to tell my close friends, therefore the need to tell my family has arisen and then once they know I'll be honest about it to anyone who asks/if it comes up in convo and my myspace status will probably change just to speed things up a little lol. I need to tell my family so that I can be open with my friends about it should it come up because I'm fed up with 2 of my long time best friends not knowing and me having to straight out lie to one of them. Because if my friends know it's likely to get around to people who will mention it to my family. I'm not going to rush in and tell them immediately, I'm really stressed out with uni and shit going on with my friends because of how down and anti-social I've been lately so I'll be waiting a little while to get round to saying anything to them but I just wanted to ask you guys for advice. I've read the threads about telling your parents but if any of you want to add something or mention anything important that you think might come up or if it came up with your family when you came out to them please mention it. I think my mum might be a bit upset but she'll be accepting. I am not sure at all how my dad will react, he's changed a fair bit over the past few months and while he isn't homophobic I don't think he's going to like the idea of his eldest daughter even just being bisexual. I just don't know how they'll react really... I feel it'll be easier to tell my mum than my dad though, I've no idea how I'll tell him and I sort of want to tell them seperately but I don't want to leave a huge gap between telling my mum and him because it would be almost impossible for my mum to keep it from him. Also I have 3 siblings... All younger... I have a 17yo and a 14yo sister, and a 7yo brother. I'm more worried about what's going to happen when my siblings know than my parents... although the idea of my dad knowing is sort of sickening also. My 17yo sister seems a bit weird about homosexuals (as a couple of you know from my previous thread) my other sister MAY be rather weird about it and I don't know whaaaaaat to do about my lil bro, he was scarred enough when he barged in on me and my ex-bf kissing, can't imagine what kind of awkward kiddy questions he's going to ask if he is told that I also like girls. I have never been in a relationship with a girl before either. I've only had one bf and he was really disgusting so I'm probably going to get remarks about him making me jump the fence or something lol, but I can deal with that. I was just going to wait until I moved out of home just so I could escape the awkwardness of them all knowing, but I probably won't be leaving home for another 2-3 years when I've graduated uni so... I mean I could wait, it's just going to sort of suck not being out... Life is short. I'm a bit worried though at the moment because I haven't had ANY contact with my friends as of late, I'm falling away from them and I think I may have just last night utterly DESTROYED what I had with the best friend I've ever had, I'm too scared to call her now I just don't know what to say... Right now she is the only person really close to me who knows I'm bi and so if things go weird with my family it's going to suck ass for me especially as I've been extremely depressed lately. I'll wind up extremely alone but if I knew how to make things right with my besties I probably wouldn't be in the predicament I find myself in now anyway. Anyway, anyone care to share any advice or experiences with me? Had younger siblings to come out to? I'm thinking maybe I'll ask my parents and sisters to not say anything about it infront of my lil bro, then again maybe it'd be better now while he's young so that he doesn't wind up on the gay-hater train later. I'm going to ask them not to let my uncle or grandparents know too. So yeah... Please just give me any advice, like I said I've read the coming out to parents stuff, siblings is another story though and if you can think of any questions my parents might hit me with please feel free to share. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the wall of text. I'll be back on tomorrow to see if anyone has replied.. I may not come out for a couple of MONTHS anyway, I just need to get parts of my life slightly more sorted before I get round to this.
Hmm.. Well Your little brother won't really understand, just because he's young, so take no noitise what he thinks, and when you tell your parents Get them together, and if you want to tell your other siblings Get them in too.. Most parents understand what you've chosen, may try to change your mind. But overall it's upto you what your desicion will be :icon_bigg :icon_bigg Have a hug(*hug*)
I get a cookie I think DarkShadow's idea is good, sit them all down together, and just tell them all at once. Not only does this keep you from having to do it over and over, but it may restrict some of the negative comments your parents may have at first, before they get a chance to think about it, since your younger siblings will be there.
Not sure about telling sibs at the same time as parents... but that could work. What do I know? I still haven't told my parents either. What I will say though is you might be surprised at how your sister's attitude might change when she finds out that you are bi. She probably doesn't currently know anyone that is bi or gay - so you'll be a positive example for her. Good luck. I'm sure it will make your life better in the long run by being out.
Yeah I'm definetely NOT telling them all at once. Parents first probably one at a time. I'm sure there must be someone on here who has been in a similar situation. Still at home, no homo experiences, younger siblings, anyone? lol. It'd be good to hear if someone has gone through something similar to hear how they went.. I'm expecting awkwardness from my family and don't know how I'm going to cope with it. I SORT of keep to myself round home but they're all I've got really... Don't have much contact with my best friends, only see acquaintances on a regular basis. I have a good relationship for the most part with my family so the awkwardness is going to be difficult to endure..
Well I can kinda help with the younger sibling part. My sister is 12 and I decided to tell her first. I told her and she was fine with it seeing as she, like the rest of my family and state, is pro gay. I thought it would be totally awkward considering she still isnt even a teenager, expecting the "That's gross" and such I usually hear from pre-teens but it totally wasnt. I would say to try to tell one sibling, wait and then tell the other; but this would be hard because naturally your two sisters will talk. You could always tell one ask her to keep it a secret until you are ready to tell the others and see if you could do it that way(I did that I told my sister to keep it under wraps for now). This might help because you said your sisters seem a bit weird when it comes to homosexuals. It could give one a little time to adjust to it, then you tell the other, and work up to your parents. You could also get them both together, tell them, and say, "Listen can you not mention it at least for a little while until I'm ready to tell mom and dad?" This way here you could let them both know. If they care about you at all they should understand as siblings usually have each others' backs even unexpectedly. Good Luck
I know it's a different age group, but I told my 12-yr old bro, who was previously quite homophobic, and he was like: 'Oh, then perhaps you'll be able to help me. There's this girl I really like...' so it didn't bother him at all. Later he said that he felt he was becoming more accepting of homosexuality because he had previously not known anyone that way inclined! I would probably, if I were you, tell your two older siblings, but make sure they keep it secret. Then, tell your parents, one at a time, but do it all quite close together (so in the space of a week or so.) This is just what I'd do, and what I'm intending to do when I finally come out (I'm in exactly the same situation as you - I want to tell my friends but my family would find out.) I can't really give much more advice and you know your family, so you can better gauge their rections. Good luck, Shell
hehe - mines a white choc chip and macadamia... Don't really know how much help I can be - but it seems to me that the most sensible approach would be to work your way through the people you trust the most to be "positive" in their response. As far as family goes, from what you say, that sounds as if it would be your mother...but then you have the concern that she wouldn't be able to keep things confidential beyond the short term. The other possibility is perhaps not just "coming out" to your Mum - but also asking for her help in the best way to approach the other members of your family? Is there a possibility that you could work on telling your most trusted friends first - so that you have a bit of a sympathetic support network before you do the hardest "family" part? Don't know if any of this is helpful - it is so hard to know what to suggest when you really don't know the individual circumstances. Whatever happens - I hope you some advice you feel you can use - and that it all goes well for you. (*hug*)
I've told the only friend who I completely trust not to tell anyone else and who I knew would be fully accepting. But I haven't been really speaking to her and I know she most likely won't be around if I need her. I don't really know what's happening and I can't speak to her about it, she gets pissed off when I talk to her about how little we've been speaking. Things aren't going so well with my friends atm... I'm hoping I can clear them up at least a little before I tell my family. Last thing I need to do is leave myself with no support.
