ryt so iv been havin these 'thoughts' of guys n shit for ages now, there driving me crazy - so what am i, orientation wise?? i asked a friend and he said it might be a phase or that i could be more... i would like your opinions plz PS i did act quite homophobic over the last while, but being honest, it was a bit ov a cover up - hiding what lies bneneth sorta bullshit PPS my friend recently came out, but the 'thoughts' have been around alot longer than that fact - about six months, plus a cuple of instances prior to that :help:
Don't worry about what you are, just who you are. Know yourself and most importantly, just be yourself. That's truly the best thing you can do for yourself. Relax, and enjoy who you are--no matter what color of the rainbow you enjoy. You'll save yourself a lot of hassle. There's nothing wrong with you; I promise. (*hug*)
Well, I'm not sure I'd say 6 months is "ages" but it's certainly not the same as having a fleeting fantasy of being with a guy. I'm not sure how our opinions are really gonna help you. I mean, you're in your head. We're not. My usual benchmark is if a guy's fantasizing about sex with guys/getting crushes on guys/mooning over guys on an ongoing basis, they ain't straight. And if fantasizing about women either doesn't do it for a guy or is significantly less stimulating than thinking about guys, then the guy is probably gay or pretty gay with some bi "mixed in." But I'm not sure that's anything you couldn't figure out for yourself. A lot of people seem to want other people to tell them what/who they are. But ultimately, we can kinda have whatever opinions we want but they're the ones who have sort things out for themselves. The Paradigm's advice is good. You don't have to figure everything out at once and it can be as big or small a deal as you let it be. It's definitely good to avoid being homophobic, though, because even if you're straight, that's not a nice way to treat people.
I agree with the above posts. There is no reason to label yourself right now. I recommend you spend a little time trying to figure it out. Actually, that can be a lot of fun! :lol: The most important thing is to realize that no matter what the outcome... whether you are gay or straight or bi or whatever, it just doesn't matter. Understanding that, and allowing yourself to have thoughts about guys is the first step toward really understanding your own sexuality. If you find yourself fantasizing about other boys... and it is more exciting than thinking about girls... well that's a pretty big sign. If you like both, great! If you find that you were just kind of curious about it all and chicks do it for you, then that's great too. Either way, no one is going to test you on it. If they did, I would have had my gay card revoked a million times already. :smilewave
What Sicsemper said. According to the Kinsey report, most people are at least marginally bisexual. Most straight people get occasional gay urges (even if it is just a man-crush or the like), most gay people occasionally go gaga over someone of the opposite sex. Most bisexuals lean one way or another (I lean slightly straight. Most days.). And it varies over time. So I guess people aren't kidding when they call it a sexual identity continuum.
You're only 15, so give it time. When I was 14-18 years old, I realized I liked guys but didn't really consider it an "option." I thought, well, guys date girls, and girls date guys, that's just how it is. I kind of wished I was a girl! (Not because I think I was born into the wrong body, but because then it would be okay for be to want to be with guys.) Pretty soon, you will be in college, which, for me was a complete 180-degree shift from high school. You will meet other gay people, and have support as you decipher your sexuality..Whether it is over coffee/tea with your new-found friends, or a late-night discussion with your roommate (I always treasured those..And provided for some good laughs as well) you will learn just how okay it will be to express your feelings. What you are doing-being on here-is a healthy start. There are plenty of people in your life that you can talk to in confidence. School teachers and counselors are a good place to start. They probably also have literature available to help you and can lead you to community organizations..Many cities have youth-support groups. Allow me to share a story of a girl I went to college with. I actually dated her VERY early on in my college career before I came out. I broke it off after less than a week.... Anyway, she holds her faith and beliefs (Catholic) so, so, so tightly, that she forgets that she is a human being with physical needs. One night, she asks her roommate: "Is it okay that I want to have sex someday?" My point: whatever attractions you feel are perfectly healthy and normal. They are in your genes and make you who you are. You don't need to feel dirty or sinful because of them. Take your time in coming out (or not if you are straight). Discovering ones' identity isn't complete by a certain age. It is a life-long thing, and it is okay to re-adjust your priorities from time to time.
Hi there! As it was said in the previous posts, take your time in figuring things out. Sexual identities are fluid and can change over time. The more you explore your feelings the better you will understand them. Maybe in that process of trying to figure it out ask yourself a few questions: What kind of feelings do you have towards girls and guys? Do you feel attracted to guys and/or girls? The way you feel about or are attracted to someone can offer you some clues. Another thing you could do as part of the process is to talk with others who have gone through what you are experiencing. Having someone to relate to or in person to talk to can really help. Maybe talk to a counselor at your school and/or try joining a LGBT youth support group in your community. Maybe do an online search to try finding a group. Hope this helps a bit!
