So a few months ago I met this guy online. I liked him and it seemed to be mutual, so I tried talking to him in private. Then earlier this month I asked if he'd like to be my boyfriend and he said yes. Normally I'd think online relationships wouldn't work, but I really saw potential here and thought it'd work out. The problem is I'm having an extremely difficult time getting this "relationship" off the ground and half the time I feel like he couldn't care less. It's only been a month, but he barely even tries to talk to me on a regular basis, and when we do talk it's always me initiating the conversation. If I don't message him or something asking to talk, I won't hear from him for about a week at a time. He always says he's busy with homework, his job and school, yet he always finds time to post on forums and update his Twitter page every single day. Is it so hard to take three seconds and say hi? We were talking yesterday and he fell asleep in the middle of our conversation. That's not too bad; I've done that to several people myself. But he didn't even apologize or say anything to me hours later when he woke up. I sent him a message and he didn't even respond. I'm thinking maybe I should just break up with him, but for some reason I still see potential. Maybe it's just wishful thinking? Some advice would be appreciated. I'm just extremely frustrated.
They usually don't when done online for various reasons. I hate to tell you but, "He's Just Not That Into You." At least that's what I think. Someone who's truly into you would call you at least once a day for more than 5 minutes to see how you are if they cannot see/talk to you. Maybe you're bothering him and that really shows how much you truly mean to him, sadly. A relationship is a 50/50 partnership of gives/takes, it's not supposed to be the way you described it. If it is, then there's obviously a problem. Was he super tired? Why is he so exhausted to actually fall asleep during a conversation? Break up with him? It doesn't sound like you've even taken off yet. Wishful thinking indeed, at least that's what my gut tells me. I highly recommend finding someone the traditional way--finding them, introducing yourself, and forming bonds of friendship/affection. Getting to know someone personally in person always seems to be easier than finding one online.
He was tired, yes. He mentioned that he was logging on before taking a nap. It's not the falling asleep that bothered me, it's the fact that he didn't even acknowledge it later. Anyway, I talked to him about an hour ago and told him how I was feeling. He apologized and said he had commitment issues. Then he said we could try a little longer and see if we can make it work. So I'll see where it goes.
Not everyone is nice enough to give you an apology. If he has commitment issues and you're trying so desperately to keep your relationship afloat, then likely its going to sink. The problem isn't on your end, it's his and you really, truly can't change it. He has to want to be a partner and it's likely that he feels too young to settle down. Your friend probably wants to explore other options before being tied down by commitment. To me, it's more of an immaturity issue when people argue about not being able to commit. If it's not that, it's usually a deep seated reason like bad experiences, memories, or ect. (and those most often can be over come!) Keep in mind that there are millions of others out there that will love you, and reciprocate the feeling continually...some of which you'll never know because they're too shy to tell you. You're never alone. You're most likely surrounded with potential suitors, but because you can never really tell just who is and who isn't an LGBTQ (aside from stereotypes), you'll never know they're there. So it's just best to always be yourself.
I don't see why you still think there's potential here. It sure doesn't sound like it. Cut your losses and leave it alone. Focus on developing an 'offline' relationship instead - like with someone local. I'm not actually sure what the point is to an 'online' relationship anyway. It's nice to have good friends online, but what is the point to having a boyfriend online? I've never really understood that. What can really ever come of it?
I agree with the others. He isn't serious, he's admitted he has commitment issues. He won't fix them overnight just because he said he has issues. I really think you can do better, so i'd suggest just letting this go.
I've got my best glasses on, and I'm not seeing this potential of which you speak. It's got "he's just not that into you" written all over it. I'd move on. Lex
Thanks for all the advice. You guys are probably right... still, I talked to him about it and we both agreed to try a little longer. If it doesn't work, I'll just let it go.
Ok first off.. I know very well where you are coming from..ive tried several online relationships myself.. three words "Aint Gunna Happen". Unless the person lives near you and you have the opportunity to meet them in person it's like any long distance relationship..unless it is mutual and worked on by both people, it is inevitable that it will end badly. Most of the time it happens like you have described where you are the only one doing anything..like talking to a brick wall and then this starts to happen -->:bang: the frustration just builds to a boiling point. It's completely up to you whether or not you want to keep trying but honestly if he hasn't put any effort into the relationship yet then he may not at all. I would just end it personally.
