My aunty is gay. She's one of those megga gay women who like to advertise their sexuality. She has a shaved head, and has rainbow stickers on her car. She always knew she was gay, and never had any trouble with it. Now, I am 23 and have only worked out I like girls over the last year. I have told lots of people now, but I can't seem to tell my aunty. I don't know if she knows or not, but she mentions me getting a 'boyfriend' on occasions so I dunno. Anyway, part of me really wants to tell her, and the other part is scared to and doesn't want to. I feel like maybe she will get competitive, or that she will brush it off and act like it's nothing exciting (which it is to me!). Today I was at her place, and discussion about mardi gras events was taking place. I wanted to participate but i obviously couldn't because it would look odd e.g. someone said "when is fair day?" and if I had have told them the date they would have wondered why I knew. I have been dropping hints e.g. telling her where I have been going clubbing etc (very gay places). Today over coffee I kept feeling sick and my heart would race, because I was thinking of telling her. Finally she mentioned that I might meet a boyfriend when I go out tonight, and I got all speechless and stressed out at her. Like, I kept saying "um", and "but" etc. She seemed to be trying to move on, and not want to give me time to get it out. I can't really remember how the conversation went, but I didn't say much and it ended with her saying "there's something you want to talk about but maybe now is not the right time". I couldn't tell if she was asking me or telling me. I said "maybe", and then she just carried on the conversation like nothing happened. Now I am all stressed out because I feel silly and like maybe she really doesn't feel like getting into this discussion with me, or she doesn't want me to tell her. I also don't know if she knows what I was going to tell her or not. So now I feel really stressed out and sick! Help me!!! :bang: :help:
Well you'll never know if you don't try. Out of the many people you know, coming out to her will probably be the safest though. It'll most likely bring you two together too as you both share more things in common. Not only that, but you'll be able to be honest with someone without being endangered. (most likely) Just go for it! What do you got to lose really? I doubt she's going to tell you that you're against her religion or she doesn't support equal rights. She's family. Let her support and love you. Let her life your worries off your shoulders. We'll be here if you need support too! (*hug*)
Maybe she could tell something was bothering you but thought you didn't want to talk to her about it? And I know how annoying people talking about boyfriends is; one of the reasons I made myself tell dad was so that I'd stop wanting to throw things whenever he'd talk about me meeting a nice guy, haha. =P They don't know if you don't tell them, though! (Unless they guess, but my dad had guessed and he still talked to me about boys, so maybe some folks just don't like to act on the assumption that someone is gay if they don't know for sure.) It can be pretty intimidating to tell someone you're gay, when they're one of those "oh, I've known since I was 8" types and you didn't figure it out until much later (I speak from experience!) Like you're scared they'll laugh and go, "No you're not! You should've been disgusted by the other sex since you were a toddler and mackin' on girls by the time you were 12!" But they don't! I'm pretty sure a gay family member that's got rainbow stickers on her car is going to be supportive. She'll probably be tickled pink that you decided to tell her. =)
Thanks I know she won't be judgemental, but she is just not the sort of person you can talk to. Like, she isn't into emotional stuff or deep and meaningful chats. I suppose I'm scared also that I won't live up to her standards or something, or, I dunno. Sorry, I'm kinda just thinking aloud in response to your reply! It's actually kinda hard to work out why I am so scared to tell her. But it seems easier to tell friends who know nothing about beign lesbian.
Think of it this way... People here in EC have come to the conclusion that they're gay at different times of their lives and have been able to come out at different paces. But nobody here is judgemental about it. We understand that this works differently for everyone. I'm betting your aunt will feel the same way. I also think that she knows - and was giving you the opportunity to tell you. Even her hints about boys are your opportunity to explain things to her. She's just giving you the opportunity to tell her. Just go for it - what do you have to lose, really?
I can totally understand that. I had a guy friend who had crushes on guys since kindergarden and came out at the age of 12 to the most conservative parents I have ever heard of. He would always say that if you had a clue you were gay that you should be out by 17 or 18. But I came out (at 17, this year) and he didn't give me any grief about it like a feared. He instead was amazing and supportive and it was nice because even though he had very different experiences with coming out, he understood a lot of what I was going through. I bet you aunt will end up being really good about it and probably even a really helpful source. Maybe it will bring you two closer and she will open up and you will see the deeper side of her personality.
that ain't a big deal.. You better have to told her about yourself.... I hope she didn't mind about what you are ... As she is not shy to tell anybody then why you are so much hesitated...
