A Radical Concept

It is certainly a gift, and I view it as such. When I first figured out I was bisexual, my initial reaction was one of "oh, why do I have to go through these problems and confusion now of all times?". However, the more I thought on it, the more I became happy at having finally had all these lingering questions about myself answered for once. I'm certainly not confused. When I thought I was straight, yeah, that was when I was confused.

Now, I'm proud of it. There are times I am extremely glad to be who I am, and even more glad that I now know that this is who I am, instead of keeping myself in the dark like I used to be.

EDIT: I just saw your signature quote. Very appropriate.

 

You are a minister and therefore I assume you believe in the Christian God. I too am a Christian and I love the idea within Christianity that God uses all things (even the bad ones!) for good if you let Him. Here's what I mean. Having been married for 15 years you must have felt incredibly oppressed by carrying this secret, there must have been times where you felt the hell of lonliness. I know that this was the case for me, I was living in hell before I decided to come out. But those feelings can become gifts when we use them to help others in similar states of depression, lonliness and fear. You're a minister, think of how you'll be able to empathize with those in your congregation who experience this and think of the blessing you will be able to be. Nobody should have to experience what I have experienced and I want to work to make it so. In that way, your homosexuality and your closet experience will be a gift!

Other gifts... All your friends will be amazing because they'll be the ones that don't care. You have to tell the hardest secret ever so being incredibly open about everything else in your life is 10x easier. You get to meet awesome and interesting people because you never judge others. You're unique and get to enjoy and experience things that most people can't. You will become a much stronger and more confident person because you will be able to endure hatred.

I've only just started coming out and it has been amazing although much much harder than I imagined. Everyone I've ever talked to has said it was the best thing they ever did. I've not met one person who regretted coming out. Well done for getting the process started, I hope everything goes well!

 

Being gay is a gift to all, and a curse to only those who don't realize the grandiosity of what they're given. When unwrapped, it comes complete with love of diversity, open-mindedness, and the ability to critically think what you hear, see, and do.

I realized that I was gay from a really young age. I've always crushed on boys when in Highschool and it wasn't until a friend told me that I was gay that I began the journey to find out who I was.

 

I have come to terms with being gay because I have to. I have to accept the things I can not change - and this is certainly one of them. Being gay has provided additional challenges in my life - but at the same time it has provided me with opportunities that many people don't have.

For instance, I think I have a far better insight into myself and human nature in general than the average person. This is because I've had to invest so much time in figuring out what makes me tick. I've looked at what drove my addiction, how to communicate with my spouse through our separation (which also applies to my boyfriend), how to live life on life's terms instead of my own, etc. I've stopped to take an inventory of all the blessings in my life and all the things that I'm grateful for. Many people don't ever do these things.

I certainly don't see it as a curse - not any more. It's part of what makes me me, and at the risk of sounding immodest, I think I'm pretty awesome!

 

Whenever someone mentions gay being a curse, I use this analogy.

Say you're of standard height - six feet or so. Now say you're living in a house designed for children, or very short people. You have to crouch down to reach the counters, you keep hitting your head on the door frames, and you have to curl up into fetal position to fit into the bed. You might think "If only I were short, my life would be so much easier."

The problem isn't that you're too tall.
The problem is that you're in the wrong house.

There are areas of the country (and the world) that are very homophobic. There are professions and jobs where being gay can be a hindrance, and some of us might have homophobic families or family members. All these things are, to my way of thinking, comparable to being in that small house. The problem isn't the sexuality - it's the environment. If you move yourself to a different city, take a different job, have a more understanding family - suddenly, your sexuality isn't much of an issue anymore. And you haven't changed a thing other than your environment.

I'm one of those who consider my sexuality to be a blessing. Off the top of my head, here are some benefits of me being gay.

* I feel being gay has helped keep my mind open. I've been introduced to gays, bisexuals, lesbians, transsexuals, drag queens, furries, and beyond. And it's forced me to attempt to understand people rather than simply dismiss them out of hand.
* Gay men tend to have fewer hang-ups about sex.
* I enjoy being freed from the constraints of heterosexual expectations. I've never wanted to have kids, but parenting is something that appears to be expected of all straight men. Far fewer people expect that of gay men.
* Perhaps due to our somewhat "outsider" status, I've found more gay men have a somewhat different outlook on life. We are often more artistic and creative than our straight brethren.

Above all, consider this. During the 1900s, any number of adjectives might've been found to come to mean "homosexual". But which one did? Not "blue" or "downer". "Gay". Which means "happy". This wasn't accidental.

Lex

 

Is this really true? I've often wondered about the origins of the word as applied to homosexuals.

 

I also really have come to like the fact that I'm gay. It is one of the things that makes me unique. I understand people and work with those who are different from me because I am different. I like to think I wouldn't be prejudice or closed minded if I were straight, but being gay I really understand people who are not just like the rest of us. It makes me better at life.