Hi I'm new. I joined this morning and i really need someone to talk to. I looked at the site before i joined and it seems like there are a lot of nice, helpful people here. I knew i wasn't "normal" when i was twelve and i thought my new jr. high friend was hot. Ever since i have been trying to convince myself i was straight, but also my brother found around six printed pages of porn (do i even need to say it was gay porn) in my drawer (not the safest place to put it<i know that now>) and lied and said i found it and was trying to keep it away from kids. then last year i got tired and finally came out to my sister and lied again (bad habit i know), telling her i was bi and since then I've been trying to convince myself i was bi. Yet once again I'm tired of lying but in Jamaican gay people aren't so accepting of anyone who isn't "normal" so i seem to be cornered in the closet :tears: :help: .
even worse, earlier this year my brother was talking about his bi friend in the car and my mom gave us THE TALK!! Saying that she hoped that none of her children were bi/gay *note this is after i told my sister i was bi* because it makes your love life even harder, the my sister texted me saying "guess who's not coming out to her." I really need some help. <sniffle>
Yikes. It sounds like Jamaica might be a little behind the times, socially speaking. It's too bad that your mother is such a product of her surroundings, but it's what's to be expected, if that's how she was raised or how she genuinely feels about the subject. I think eventually she might warm up to you if you told her, but try to put it off for a while. That's my advice. If you can, maybe try talking to your sister for some advice. Perhaps even confide in your closest friend (if you know they won't out you to everyone) and see what their honest opinion is. It sounds like this is an issue that could be best helped by someone you know well and trust. Oh, and the excuse you gave to your brother... I can't imagine hearing that and considering it legitimate, even from the most honest of people. Do you think he has any inkling? Also, is it just your mom who is like that, or are your father and other siblings like that, too?
I know my excuse was lame but he bought it, i think he's curious because i saw bi porn in his bathroom. My parents give the classic "we love you no matter what" but I'm not sure about my step mom, but my sister is open minded and has gay friends. My mother is Bajan <Barbadian> and they are pretty open minded people so I'm not terrified, but yeah Jamaicans are pretty closed minded. thanks :icon_redf :tears:
Uh - yeah - I have heard the stories about the horrible "lack of tolerance" for anything not totally straight in Jamaica. Hope we can be of help to you .
Well first I have to say be very careful in who you tell. Of course, you want your family to know. I would suggest that you get information from the internet to give to your mom when you come out. Go to www.pflag.org or www.familyacceptance.org . For the record, my dad gave my kids "the lecture" too. Before they were licensed drivers, he would take them out on long country dirt road to practice. It was then they had a conversation. How they got on this topic I will never know but my Dad told my kids that homosexuality was wrong and that if anybody tells you it is, then they are lying. It scared the livin daylights out of my son because he knew then he was gay. Later at 19, when my son finally did come out my dad said "You are my grandson and I love you anyway." He went through some struggles then and still has some, but we're doing okay.
Thank you tri bi, beckyg and music man for your advice and concern tis made me feel more comfortable, and not to sound as if i'm rejecting your advice bg but my mom is pretty open minded but very paranoid for her children. To quote her "I won't fight for much but once someone starts on my children its a whole other story" (!) she loves us. About telling people outside my family...... I think ill put that off for a while. Thank you all Kibuki Kid
