who you should hold back your emotions for? Are there some people, who tell you all about their relationship and that you should just sit idle about it and when they tell you something goes wrong you just look at them say, "well that's too bad, I'm sorry" and no revel in the ocean of pity with them? I'm just a very caring guy and sometimes emotionally attach myself to others. All my friends have been begging me lately to distance myself and show less emotion around a certain person, so I can stay focused and not let me mental well-being be affected. I just feel like an ass or a jerk if I start doing that, but I may just have to huh?
It is okay to reach out to people emotionally, just try not to let their emotions bring you down. If something doesn't directly affect you, it is okay to just listen and support them.
Yeah..don't worry about holding back your emotions when it comes to a friend. Feel free to support them just don't get too involved when it comes to very sensative issues or they may turn into your anchor. It's good that you are there for them to be their shoulder to cry on if they need it. That is actually a rare thing. Though some people just have that aura of negative emotions..just be careful around them
You sound a bit like myself. I have a very emotional spectrum. Music, mood, events and people's emotions can really make my mood change throughout the day. I can feel it all: saddness, anger, happiness, anxiety, empathy.. the list goes on. However I lvoe to help people. In the situations when I'm trying to help friends, I feel overwhelming amounts of empathy and sadness, like I can actually feel their pain even though whatever happened to them may have not happened to me. While this is a blessing in some cases (to put yourself in someone's shoes), it can also be a curse. I've learned through work that I have to distance myself from some situations like this so I don't become drained. Some people are just negative pools of a black abyss-their negative emotion knows no depth. And they may suck you in and that's a dark place.. But in your case, I think it's best to distance yourself. If you talk to the person, let them know you're still a friend, but that you want to be positive since you're dealing with "your own sh*t" and focusing on the negative isn't going to help it. Suggest to them to see a counselor or some other help so they can maybe deal with it, and then end it. If they keep trying to talk about their problems, just let them know that you've tried helping but you've got to go, or something has come up. They will hopefully get the hint.
It's important to be empathetic towards someone. But what if they're a drama queen? What if they make everything a huge, life altering deal? Does that require you to do the same? No.
You can best help somebody by being empathetic, but remaining above the fray enough that you can continue seeing the situation objectively. If you get caught up in the drama and emotional hand-wringing and the storm und drang of it all, then you're simply becoming another participant in the drama. And I can't think of any "drama" that needs more participants. Lex
