I feel really bad today. I feel like a terrible person. I left my 2nd marriage for another woman and my ex-husband hates my guts and thinks I am the worst person to walk the planet. He cannot imagine how someone can leave relationships without giving a damn - at least that's what he thinks I feel (or don't feel). He has no idea of the guilt I felt, and the hours and days and weeks I deliberated on whether or not to stay in the marriage. I didn't share the thought process with him so he assumes that I just left and didn't give a damn. I have two little girls who one day may learn that their mom is "different," and on top of that, my youngest one's dad, will probably be waiting to torture me with threats of telling my kids about all the terrible things I have done in my relationships. I miss my parents who are sailing somewhere in the pacific ocean for 5 weeks, and don't really feel like I have too many people that I want to share my pain with....I do have friends who would listen, but I don't want to put it on them. I guess I just want to vent and this just feels like the best place to do that. Thanks for listening. Becky :tears: And by the way, my middle name is Rebecca, but my first name is Alison, and no-one really calls me Becky so I think I am done signing my posts with Becky if that's okay. Alison
Hi there! First off (*hug*) How would you feel about the idea of calling your ex-husband and having a talk with him about how you feel and the decisions you have made. I think providing him with an idea of how you feel and your feelings and the fact that you did care about your relationship with him, might also help him in understanding what happened a lot better. I think being open with him about it could perhaps bring you two closer together in the sense being able to talk and to come to an agreement that you would like to be the one that tells your children. It is never too late to start talking with him or at least make the attempt to open up a dialogue. (*hug*) If you need to share your pain, and emotions, by all means go for it. Call a friend and maybe invite her or him over and just talk about what you need to talk about. You will probably find that your friends are more than willing to listen, be there for you and to help you. (*hug*)
As Mirk suggested, why don't you share with your ex? That said, make sure you do it for the right reasons. Do you actually care about his feelings, or are you only worried about how his impressions of you might negatively impact you and/or your children later? >>>I do have friends who would listen, but I don't want to put it on them. We have friends specifically for situations like this. I'm not dismissing the use of EC as a resource - we'd love to help - but friends aren't friends just for when everything is going swimmingly. Lex
