I can't take this. This past (school) year I've felt so lonely. I mean, it's not like I'm totally anti-social. I talk with people, and there are some I hang out with time to time, but I just feel SO DAMN LONELY... I feel like I don't belong anywhere with where I live. I feel like I can't totally connect with certain groups of people, yet others can. What is wrong with me? Or should I ask what is wrong with the world? There are times I think I'm mentally insane with my perspective on people and society. I feel society is just terrible and there's no point to get over-excited over STUPID ANNOYING SHIT. God, I really do hate my school. I literally would love to bash about 70% of the kids in there with a bat. They're all either just stupid/annoying/whorish/ungrateful/slutty/ignorant sons of bitches. Excuse my slightly vulgar language, but I'm just so pissed off/depressed at the moment. I hate the world and society cause it doesn't understand me and quite frankly I don't really understand it. There's no one I feel I can belong with at all. I'm not the most independent person on the planet. I'm very co-dependent. I wish I could rid myself of this habit and have more confidence. I just feel so lonely right now and like I've lost most of my friends.
THe problem isn't you. It just sounds like you matured, mentally that is, much faster than other people. I ran into the same problem when I was in High School. It felt like everyone else was suffering from chronic retardation. It's all about the mindset. May I ask why you've lost them? Also, what does "Family is TBD" mean? Also, it's a very healthy thing to rant and get it off your chest. Never be ashamed of doing so. It'll prevent mental illness in the long run.
Oh, oops, let me reword that. I haven't exactly "lost" all my friends. I can just feel them drifting, and I've already had three other friends who have drifted before. It makes me so depressed whenever I think about them. I can never have an actual, non-awkward conversation with them anymore. I'm afraid this is happening with my close friends at the moment... I realize this is usually just part of change. Change is nature and it happens year-to-year (especially with me...I'm the most fickle/indecisive person ever). But it still makes me so sad to think about. Also TBD is To Be Determined. I should probably change that since it's kind of hard to figure out. :rolleyes:
If you feel your friends are drifting, do something about it. Don't wait for them to ask you out, plan something and invite them. Relationships go both ways, and you need to put in an effort too. If you're already doing this and it doesn't turn around, then you just have to move on. In two years you can go to university anywhere in the world if you so choose, and nobody will care about who you were.
