to be perfectly honest, the only guys that have shown an interest in me recently have turned out to be real lame, like ive had a couple of dates recently, and they were like the most boring hours of my life. it was just soooooooooo boring. i mean i'd sooner have no one interested in me rather than be obsessed over by losers. meanwhile cool guys are dating other cool guys, and i just feel like im not good enough for them, ill just stick here with the losers then, fine. :icon_sad: edit: and this is obviously effecting my self esteem and making me feel crappy.
If your not happy with who you are currently dating then don't worry i'm pretty sure someone will eventually come along a d you both will have lots of fun. You just have to be passient and whatevery you do don't obsess over dating too much, if at all. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
This is a paradox. These losers might be able to tell your self esteem is low and thus see you as attainable. The cool guys can probably see it also. Being ignored by desirable guys can be hard on your self esteem and then the losers think you are attainable. The best course of action in fixing this is to separate self esteem from possible relationships. Look at the cool guys critically. What about them intrigues you? Do you have similar characteristics? Self pity is not advisable. I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.
It is definitely true in my experience that as you begin to love yourself more for who you are, you tend to attract healthier people to you. (The reverse is also true.) I don't know if it's luck, intuition, or some magical, mythical otherworldly energy, but I have definitely seen that people have an amazing ability to attract different sorts of people at different stages of their development and growth. I wouldn't stress about it too much, but I would suggest giving some thought to your own issues and how your self-perceptions could affect your ability to attract the people you like. I'll give another plug for the excellent (if misleadingly named) "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love" by Joe Kort. It talks a lot about the issues we face as gay men that cause us to attract (and sometimes, to seek out) men who feed directly into our weaknesses -- and how to change that. Otherwise, I would suggest just doing some self-exploration and thinking and talking about the parts of yourself you don't like, and how you might go about changing them.
I've just recently joined this site, but i also have this sort of problem. However for me I'm not attracting anyone. And I have very low self esteem because of this. Which for me leads to self pity etc. It's a vicious cycle. But as some of the people here have been discussing you can break it by identifying what you like about these "cool people", and also to just make sure that you can actually imagine yourself with these people. Don't class them as "cool people" just as normal every day joes. That way, hopefully you will start attracting the right people for you.
